In divorce process.
By JamesStas
@JamesStas (25)
United States
September 28, 2010 7:49am CST
I've been married just over four years, together with her for over five. We're currently in the process of getting divorced. A mutual agreement. For the most part, it's the best thing to do for both parties. I'm following a spiritual path after being saved through Jesus. She says she believes, which I take her word for it, though she's not really spiritually active at all. Her life is revolving around money and having a successful lifestyle. I turned my life over to Jesus and am currently striving to do God's work. The divorce is a relief to the both of us, although, watching a five year relationship end hurts. I put everything I had into the marriage and it seems it wasn't enough. Anyone got any advice?
2 people like this
6 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Sep 10
Hi JamesStas,
Welcome to Mylot!! Sorry to hear that you are going through such a terrible time. I've been divorced and even when it is the right thing, it hurts terribly. I wish I had some great advice to help you move through that pain more quickly but I don't. As unbelievable as it may seem right now, time and time only will ease that pain. Keep busy with friends and re-building your life as a single person. A lot of people rush into another relationship in order to help them get over the previous one. That almost always only works for a short time and isn't really fair to the other person. Things will get better, JamesStas!
1 person likes this
@JamesStas (25)
• United States
29 Sep 10
I held out for as long as I could. She's the one who proceeded with the divorce. I wanted to work it out. She even told me she doesn't see herself as a Pastor's wife. I've read recently in a biblical book that if an unbeliever chooses to leave and end the marriage that they should be allowed to leave. I'm looking at it as that type of situation.
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
29 Sep 10
yes ive read the same verse as well...
i understand...
well i'm really really sincerely sorry to hear about your (ex) wife and your situation...
i don't get it, i just can't get it why some women do that...
while others are being cheated on by abusive husbands and being abused...
i just don't get it.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
28 Sep 10
If you truly are spiritual just continue to put your life into the hands of God. Hand it all over to Him and you will be given all of the answers. You will need to search a little harder for some than you do for others but it will soon be clear what it is that you should do with your life. I'm sorry to see you are getting a divorce. It seems marriage just isn't something that many people take seriously these days. It is possible this is what is best for you two but then again the marriage may be able to be saved. Whatever happens just remember to always continue to put God first. And be sure to take time for yourself before jumping into another relationship. You will need time to heal and to deal with the ending of this relationship. 
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
14 Dec 10
Well when both of your thoughts are different and feel if you both need no love for eachother, then your choice is right. A marriage is bond of love and need of each other and respecting each other choices. If not, then a small gap and freedom can help grow without hurting each others feelings.
@pinksplotch (268)
• Quezon City, Philippines
2 Oct 10
i'm not pro-divorce. i feel sorry for you. i hope you made the right decision..
@Mamirican (13)
• United States
29 Sep 10
I'm going through something similar the only difference is that we never married.But we was together for 5 yrs. and we have a 2 yr old son. And like you said watching a 5 yr relationship end hurts a lot. But I pray to God that we can get back together and raise our son together. We both love him and need him in our lives. Our relationship ended because of lack of communication and misunderstandings but I think it can be talked out and fixed (I hope). Good Luck!
