Religion or family?
By haruki00
@haruki00 (50)
Philippines
September 30, 2010 10:37am CST
Im a roman catholic but my dad has converted to a different religion. and has been into it for some time now. well the good thing about it is his previous vices like alcohol, and smoking stopped due to him being a part of that religion. however he has a bad habit of trying to persuade me into converting to his religion. Which is really annoying. I have my own beliefs when it comes to faith in god however theirs is very biblical which makes them robotic because they just follow the teachings and values written in the bible which I don't agree with. And to make things worse he's picked up another woman in his life whom he met in that certain group after the passing of my previous step mom and is showing more love and affection towards her and that religion. as his son I wish he had the same time and money to spend on my studies rather than supporting a religion and another woman but it seems he doesn't realize that. I couldn't even finish my studies up until now because he never offered me any support for me to do so which makes. it hard for me to get a job and live on my own. instead he is investing money and time on that religion and his woman. I've already talked to im several times about this several times but it seems to have no effect. If you were in my shoes how would you guys deal with this situation? Is my father doing the right things? is it good to choose your religion than support your own son?
4 people like this
11 responses
@IoanaBI (494)
• Romania
30 Sep 10
Hello Haru! Very tricky question...very triky..because the bible tells us to love god more then anything, and still it fells so wrong when a parent forgets about his child and gives more money to others when his child is in need. I can not tell you; i think it would be nice if you also shared his religion, but is only a matter of choise. The religion we belive is ours is only because our parents past it to us and we grew up with it. I'm roman catholic too, but i thin that if i was a muslim it would have made no diffrent. I would have loved and belived that religion. Who is to say that a religion is right or not? I do not think us, because we are not impartials..
@haruki00 (50)
• Philippines
30 Sep 10
thank you for responding..I dont have anything against his religion however my dad is kind of blinded by their beliefs and practices which make us alien to each other I know his religion quite well and I can clearly see some loopholes but as I mentioned I have nothing against his religion. I sure hope someday he realizes that he is loosing me as a son because of the things that he's so indulged in.
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
i dont think your father has a real faith. as i know ,most of religions have a common main thing-love.in Bible,Jesus tells us we must love our neighbour as we love ourselves. your father would rather give his money to his religion than surpport your studies,it sounds rediculous,true.Maybe he is suppose to learn how to love YOU,his son,and then he can go his religion.If I were you ,i would sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him.
Good luck and GOD bless you
@haruki00 (50)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
thank you for your response. the hard part is making my dad understand this very simple thing. and my dad is not really the type to be soft and accept opinion from others. I've already talked to him several times about this but I don't get too direct because it might end up in a fight and cause some serious problems for both of us.
@Jagokonte (123)
• Greece
2 Oct 10
Listen! First it is bad to try and convert people in other religions by force. If that is the case it is not good. If he is forcing you then it is a valuable indicator to see if the new religion he is following is good or bad according to human rights. Say: Father I respect your opinion but I have my own beliefs and I am not going to change that. Second: Men an seriously affected by women and in order to win a woman a man might do all sort of mistakes. If your father is actually doing this because of this woman it is possible that she is the reason of all this and he doesn't really cares for you or your father. I would suggest you try and investigate her intentions. If your dream is to study then you should aim to gather as much money as you can by yourself and also look if your father can support you, talk with him and if you see that he has not such intention you must find some serious solution about yourself before it is too late.
@melmabb (579)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
I am a father and i am in the same situation like your father, i give-up vices but i am not saying that i am clean,if your father is in his financial standing then he is not supporting you then i see his fault in there, but when he spends time and more Money the other way without giving you a helping hand then again that is his fault,If that religion teaches him to change then i think there is no problem about it..Maybe your Father likes to invite you only to hear what he is learning on that religion,why not give a time,follow his desires then he will follow yours, i am not saying that instantly be in his Religion..In my case i sometimes bring my kids on my church just to hear and listen,but i don't force them to be in,i let them decide from their Heart..and i respect whatever decisions they have.I think all religion teaches Good moral values, if one member does not follow what is taught, then i think the problem is not the Religion, but the person itself....Thanks!
@cinjhoxmyltc (334)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
With your situation, I suggest you will stay for being a catholic. If your dad will try to convert you his newly-found religion, then I think when it comes to religion matters, you will separate your self from doing so. It is our duty to respect our parents and our duty to stay on what we believe is true. You can still enjoy good relationship with your dad without compromising your religious affiliation. It is a matter of situation handling and adjustment for a betterment of our individuality.
@zoekling (70)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
i think its better to choose your family than with your religion..because family is family and you always have responsibilities to them/us.u can choose any religion you want by not losing your family,anyway,your religion cannot save your soul/or pay your sins and go to heaven..its between you and your belief to GOD,if you will accept him warm-heartedly into your heart and mind you will be save i know..because salvation is not because of who you are its how you accept GOD.what kind of religion is that,you afford to loss your family just because you are following one's order?that's completely insane!
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
1 Oct 10
Family first, religion second.
I don't care what the Mary Kay Company says (I used to work for those jerks), it isn't "God first, family second, and career third". YOUR FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST!
Now then, I say this because I have religion wreak and ruin families.
Mi amigo (my friend) doesn't like his parents right now because they have put their religion and religious views ahead of their children and ahead of work. People need to always put their family and their needs first. Meaning if you have to work, and provide for your family, then do it, don't make everything about your religious beliefs.
My nieces and nephew, and my step-sister (I am leaving her husband out of this because he isn't the one making the decisions in this situation). My nieces have run away from home, stolen, and gotten pregnant out of wedlock all because their mother didn't pay attention to them. She put her religious views and her religious needs in front of her whole family. When her girls turned 18 she place them in this religious school in Texas, and it changes those girls. It makes them rebellious.
My mother never put religion before my brother and me. In fact, she told us that whatever we wanted to do with our lives (as long as it wasn't illegal) was fine with her. My brother wanted to be a lawyer (that was until he passed away) and I want a career in writing and literature, don't know what I will do exactly, but I will figure it out. I might be a librarian who writes novels on the side.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
1 Oct 10
Hey! Your father is Ok! Its quite alright to change your religion,and in your dad's case it has helped him to quit some previous vises. He's so happy to have broken away from Catholicism, that he wants you to try it too! You could do worse!As for the other woman, is this so bad? 50% of all marriages end in divorce, anyway! I'm an older senior with 4 grown boys, and supporting them is something that would abhor me. Why should he support a healthy, able-bodied, student type like you? ( You lazy or something?)Lets just say he doing the right things! You're a big boy now, get out there and get at it!
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
I don't understand if your father has really found the right faith. Of course I like the fact that he junked his vices like drinking and smoking but I was shocked that he on the other hand indulged in adultery. Where is God in his life then?
There is no problem about getting too biblical because after all the Bible is the Word of God. If a religion is Bible -ased then that religion is worth being considered. That is my personal opinion. Now from the looks of it, I think it is not the religion which gives your father the problem but his own lustful desire. You Father found a new religion and it looks like the new religion makes him a better man for he was able to withdraw from his vices but it looks like your Father does not know how to keep the path of righteousness for apart from taking a new religion he also takes another wife. This contradicts the teachings of God so obviously hour father does not fear God at all.
The family is the first institution created by God so we should give first priority to our family. Nevertheless the center of every family should be Jesus otherwise that family can never live a harmonious life. Now you Father will surely reap the punishment of his sin sooner or later in his life. Now in your case, you better strive on you own and do the best for you. Leave your father to God for He surely has a way with him. I also pray you find the right faith.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
1 Oct 10
I disagree with your father, your father should still pay attention to you. Your father made a mistake. And surely your father's religion, nor does it justify. My parents and I, have a different religion. We respect each other in our respective religions, not to force each other and advise each other if there are mistakes made. You should tell your dad, what is a wedge. Hopefully your father can understand.
@acw23059 (6)
• United States
1 Oct 10
I was born into a jewish family that my father made my mother who was catholic convert into and I decided I was not going to follow that religon. My father was happy with it but he still supports me in my new endevors, I think its wrong that your dad is forgetting about you because you had a difference of opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own belief and should stick to it if it makes them happy.
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