Being mean to my boyfriend

to be honest, the first thing i thought of seeing this topic is....are you happy with him? scolding him for the smallest of things/ getting mad at him for no reason. well i hope your happy and i'm wrong about my statement. but, i'll have to say it's not completely normal. the nagging is, but getting mad for no reason. i can assure you it will not be healthy for the relationship. good luck

You might lose a good man with such behavior. It looks to me that you are a little abusive and he is tolerating it. He might be patient for some time but in the end people have limits. He might say "it is ok" but the same time he expects/hopes you to respect him and stop. If he already argued with you this means he tried to communicate with you already and pass you the message to calm down. So calm down. Arguing in relationships it is not always bad, actually it is healthy as long as you both love each other and reach solutions together. You should talk to him about this and build trust with him.

You are aware that one of the reasons why guys cheats or leaves is because of NAGGING do you? psychologists already studied men for so long and why they cheat and they found that there's a big percentage of the cheaters that says the reason is because of this. even though he can deal with it today doesn't necessarily give you the right to do it over and over. if you really feel sorry for what you did then don't do it again. you can talk without raising your voice. you can talk in a manner that you will not have to scold him or make him embarrassed because he has done something that you didn't like. if you love him respect him as a person and talk to him with a low voice. for you, your bf and your relationship's sake stop nagging and confront him in a nicer way possible for you. it will be best for you guys...

There's a difference between an appropriate reminder of one's responsibility and being hen-pecked. :) One is an expression of confidence and helps him become more of the man you believe he really is and the other emasculates him and makes him weak, controlled, completely subjected to your will (ie abused). So just figure out which of the two you are doing and make your actions a conscious decision!

Sometimes we have so many stressed in life that unfortunately our characters get a bit out of whack. I know I have been facing several issues back to back and unfortunately it just my boyfriend and I at home and I have a tendency to unconsciously take out my frustrations on him. I do not mean to do it and do not realize I am doing it, and then when I realize I am being picky and pesky I do feel guilty and sad as truly it is not his fault and I am being a bit unreasonable. So what I try to do is immediately apologize as soon as I realize that I am being unreasonable, but like your boyfriend as well mine say he understands, and that too gets me yet even more sad as how many times will he be willing to tolerate my nagging and overbearing ways. The only thing I can suggest is that when we feel this way we have to try really hard and take a few deep breaths before we speak as the poor dears are the only one there at the moment and truly it is not their fault. Good luck to the both of us.

let me put it this way, if you keep nagging and scolding him continuously, no matter what he tells you, he will eventually grow tired of the nagging, and he will snap and things will go down hill from there. all i can say is try to tone down on the nagging and if you cant stop entirely, just look at what your aarguing about and decide on if what your arguing about is really worth arguing over.

I can assure you he won't be able to deal with it long term. You need to figure out what it is that is causing you to do this. You have some insecurities within yourself that need to be dealt with or you may run the boyfriend off. Look within yourself and try to make some changes before you lose your boyfriend forever.

Some people tend to be more understanding & patient than others. Your boyfriend sounds like he's a very understanding & patient person. But I do believe everybody has a breaking point. If all those "scolding" is deserving, then I hope he's big enough of a person to see that he deserved it & try to correct his ways. But if it was undeserving, try to remember whenever you get angry, how you might feel if he flew off the handle & scolded you for every little thing. I believe relationship should be based on few things & one of them should be mutual respect. Think of the reasons why you're scolding him so much & try to reverse the situation & how you would like to be treated if the role was reversed.

I really don't know but from your story you seems to exhibit symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior which I have written and research just recently. Here's an article that might help you and your boyfriend in coping up with symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior. (written by me, so there's no copyright infringement LOL) How to Overcome Someone Else's Passive-Aggressive Behavior By: John Louie Ramos Passive-aggressive behavior is a personality trait that manifests a pattern of negative attitudes that are often generated from the need to dominate or be appreciated in an obsessive manner. People who possess a passive-aggressive behavior most of the time feels that they are way ahead of others and what they're doing is nothing but being helpful. They lashes out criticisms which they see as constructive but in reality such criticisms often hurts the person to which they were given. In addition, they usually complain of being unappreciated by others and exaggerate their problems. In most cases, people who possess such behavior are extremely possessive and they are reluctant and stubborn in some degree. According to various research studies, a passive-aggressive behavior roots from certain stimulus and experiences especially during the developmental stage or childhood stage of a person. It may stem from an environment or society where certain feelings are bottled and were never expressed. Like it or not, at some point in our lives, we'll meet someone who suffers from a passive-aggressive behavior. It could be a neighbor, a family member, an acquaintance, a friend, a partner or even you yourself. Hence, it's important to know how to effectively deal with people with passive-aggressive behaviors. Thus, by following some basic guidelines and principles listed below, you'll learn how to deal and overcome passive-aggressive behaviors without the need of hurting the feelings of others. Understand Their Feelings People who suffer from a passive-aggressive behaviors are also victims. They are victims of circumstances and an environment that taught them to act and behave in such manner. Passive-aggressive behavior is a person's fear of dependency, competition and intimacy. They suffer from an irrational fear of challenges and long for intimacy and appreciation in its most extreme from. They also might feel insecure of themselves. Knowing the reason to their passive-aggressive behavior makes you understand their feelings better and builds a deeper connection between you and the person which is the first step in dealing with it. Discuss the Issue In order to solve the problem, you must first address it to them. Communicate your thoughts and be transparent with your feelings towards their passive-aggressive behavior but try not to blame them. Talk to the person in a light manner in a way that will make him/her oblige to open up and convey how he/she feels during certain situations. Encourage Them In dealing with people who suffers from a passive-aggressive behavior it is important to act out as a confidante and a good, close friend. You must make the person feel at ease and by doing so you can now tell them things which can help in making the situation better for both him/her and the persons who surrounds him/her. Passive-aggressive behavior is similar to uneasiness and the best way to erase that feeling is to create an atmosphere where the person is comfortable. I hope it could help you and your boyfriend.

That is normal sweetie. You just need to try and control yourself. I have never done it before, but lately i get annoyed very easily and my boyfriend get that as well. I know the feeling. Find something to take your mind of it, okay. Luck. TATA.

Oh well, little bit scolding is okay in every relationship but you should know when enough is enough. Excess of anything is bad, and so , you should also not do it in excess. It may let him feel that you're being so mean, and you dont understand the situation and conditions that he may be going through and you just start scolding him and blaming him for it. So I will suggest you to check your behavior with him , dont nag him and blame him every time for and make him feel that you do understand his problems sometimes. Take care :)

Well at least you are aware that you can be a nag, just try controlling your temper. And if you feel he's already irritated just lie low a little. Dont be too nice either or he will get too comfortable.

i've had the same experience. the nagging thing if it's too much pisses off most of the men. if you're scared that one day it'll ruin your relationship you should try to be more patient and understanding although i know it'll be a little difficult to hold your anger sometimes. talk to your boyfriend about having a harmonious relationship without nagging. i think he'll try to cooperate. :)

so you've started all this and he's still only your boyfriend? Yeah you need to stop and stop right now if you want this to be a long term thing. Sure it's normal a little but seriously, guys will not put up with that for too long. Think about it this way...he's probably getting annoyed with you but putting up with it for now. Then he meets a girl who seems as if she won't do that type of thing to him...what you think he's going to do?