Who is more responsible for "divorce"..husband or wife..?
By chayapathys
@chayapathys (2111)
India
September 30, 2010 8:21pm CST
Divorce is common but they are more in now a days and in conservative countries like India also there is growing tendency among the couple to get divorce.When a divorce petition is filed by wife ..she alleges that she is not looked after well and the treatment by husband is cruel and unbearable. Similarly when husband seeks divorce .. he alleges infidelity of wife.Apart from the truth of these allegations the couple are serious about living separately.They no longer want to live together.In one sense they are correct because what is the purpose in living together without mutual understanding.I do not have statistics about the number of divorce petitions filed by wife and husband. I feel the petitions by wife are more and the common allegation is cruel treatment by the husband.They are weaker section and mostly dependent on husbands.The infidelity of wife is difficult to prove though it may be correct.Can you tell me who is more guilty and who is more responsible for "divorce"
3 people like this
10 responses
@GBSalasalan_C (32)
• Philippines
2 Oct 10
In my country divorce is really not allowed because of the church influence.for me the more guilty of divorce is the one who commit mistake. And the responsible for divorce is the government.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
2 Oct 10
you seem to live in a conservative country.I also feel why couple should depart which is sad any where.Both agreed to live together earlier.Now they want to part ways.No one seems to bother about children for which I personally feel very sorrow.I wish the Govt should ban divorce altogether and then only the couple start to understand each other and forgive the lapses or short comings their life partners.That was the case in olden days....
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
2 Oct 10
You mean to say cheating is the cause of divorce.We come across many cases where cheating is not alleged by either party.What do you say for that?In some cases they agree to disagree and get separated but continue to be friends thereafter also but not as husband and wife.My question is why not they reconcile their differences and continue to live.Why not elders and wishers prevent divorces and help harmony in the society...
@LaurenInLA (2270)
• United States
1 Oct 10
I think that every situation is different. The reasons for divorce are not only those that you have listed but there are many other reasons why people get divorced. I think that today people are too quick to file for divorce and I thing that is a result of going into a marriage with blinders on. People want to run away at the first sign of a problem. The easy thing is to get a divorce. The harder and more worthwhile thing is to stay and work things out. Of course, I do rule out staying if one of the other parties is abusive in any way.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
2 Oct 10
What ever may be the reason a divorce is a divorce pure and simple that is separating after living together for some.In olden days divorces were few ...no that they did not have difference of opinion but they could reconcile.Same human being now want divorce at the earliest.What about children.Do they enjoy parent's separation.Should the couple not consider the feelings of their own children.In case of abuse I agree that they should separate.There are agreed divorces.that is they agree to disagree.In case of difference some well wishers or elders should interfere and prevent divorce.What will be the position if Govt were to pass a law prohibiting divorce altogether.....
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
1 Oct 10
A husband and wife both make the choice to marry. if the marriage fails, both parties have to share the blame. A husband and wife are both responsible when the marrige comes to an end. The guilt can not be placed on just one person without a substantial cause.@chayapathys (2111)
• India
2 Oct 10
Both husband and wife agreed to marry earlier and now agree to be separated.As you say both are responsible for both marriage and divorce.But in many cases husband blames the wife and wife blames the husband.When they get children is there any point in blaming each other.Should they not consider the fate of their children and no one is responsible other than themselves.Divorce is painful yet they consent.They should reconsider and reconsider and some elders or well wishers should interfere and prevent divorce.That is what I think fair...
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
1 Oct 10
A pleasant day to you Chayapathys,
With reference to your main topic, as for me, both the husband & wife are responsible for the divorce that they have filed. As the common people say, "it takes two to tango". Decisions such as divorce cannot be done by the husband alone or vice versa. If the husband filed a complain or petition for a divorce, the reasons stated in the papers should coincide and agree to the attitude being shown by the wife. And, this will also applies if the wife filed a petition for divorce, the complain must be visible to the attitude of the husband. If the attitude of each does not agree to what has been filed, then, petition for divorce will somehow voidable.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
2 Oct 10
What you say is correct to some extent.In a situation where the husband alleges infidelity ..the wife does not accept ..may be the husband is rich and she is comfortable otherwise.Similarly the wife alleges cruel treatment ..the husband may not agree because she is earning and wealthy and he is comfortable otherwise.In every case we cannot say that both are guilty.What I want to say is that when they get children should they not consider the fate of children.Will children rejoice over the separation of parents..
@luxlyangels (1286)
•
1 Oct 10
Who is more guilty and more responsible?
Both parties.
the western world has corrupted the minds of people everywhere and thats really eating up the values in our society.
i think both parties are to be blamed in times like this.i dont care to know what happened,they shoub be able to work things out for the better.
To all those who dont agree ,BITE ME!
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
1 Oct 10
Human values have diminished considerably.The couple agreed to live together earlier but differences are bound to come up.Both should develop mutual trust.When they get children they must consider the position of children also. One cannot be selfish always.Some well wishers should interfere and ensure the marriage is sustained.No purpose is served by blaming each other.What will be position if Govt enacts a law prohibiting divorce .......
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Oct 10
Hi there Chayapathys,
I live in the United States so things might be different here. What I have seen is that it is often a little bit of both people....they just are not compatible at all! Here we have what is called a no-fault divorce. It is quick and easy and cheap. All you have to do is cite "irreconcilable differences" and it is over. Here women are as a rule not so dependent on men for support and things so it is I think a pretty even score in the blame game. People just jump into marriage too quickly and run for divorce court too quickly and it seems to me that the divorces that are the most justified are the ones that the innocent one takes way too long to wake up and move on.
@krupesh (2608)
• India
1 Oct 10
Until we get the statistics we cant tell who is responsible for the divorce.There are lot many factors for the couples to go for the divorce.If indeed if they are divorced then you have to say its 50-50 as both the parties have agreed for it.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
1 Oct 10
I am not interested in the statistics.Who is not interested in contuing the marriage ..whether husband or wife. if so why?How can we conclude 50-50.It is a human question? What is the problem with the other person whether husband or wife.Is it not sad to depart for ever when they agreed to live together earlier.Why should divorce take at all.In olden days they were few and perhaps nil.Now in every forth or fifth marriage divorce process sets in sooner or later.We are interested human behavior here...and nothing else...
@phyrre (2317)
• United States
1 Oct 10
I live in America as well and I think it's pretty 50-50 as far as who is responsible for the divorce. In my parents' case they mutually agreed on the divorce as there were things that caused them to separate. My mother technically filed for divorce, but only because it was easier for her to do so and it would be quicker and easier than if my father had filed for it, so that's what they agree on.
Here, I don't think you even really need an excuse to get divorced. I mean, I'm not really sure how the whole process works as I've never felt the need to get one (nor do I hope to ever get one), but I know that a lot of people get divorced just because the marriage isn't working out and they realize they really didn't want to be married to that person in the first place. A lot of people get the marriage annulled, too, which I'm not really sure if that's the same thing or not.
@chayapathys (2111)
• India
1 Oct 10
As you wish not to get divorce I pray that you both live happily for ever.I do not understand what is the need for agreed divorce.Why not try to understand each other?Some well wishers should interfere and settle things for them.In the process of divorce children, if any, get confused and become restless. At least for the sake of children they should live together and forget their differences. Here the question is not who is at fault but other consideration should weigh more.In many cases there is no real cause for divorce;Suppose divorce is prohibited by law...how it works..?
@jypsyjulia (912)
• United States
1 Oct 10
In America, where I live, and where the divorce rate is like 58 percent now, there's really no more responsible party than the other. It takes two to tango and it also takes two to file a divorce and get it completed. Sometimes it is infidelity on the husband or wife's part, sometimes it's a disagreement that has boiled over or (God forbid) abuse. But it's always relative and it always depends on the situation and on the couple. I don't think there is a more responsible party.
