Living With Parents : Discussion

Do not apologize for the long narrative. I have never seen one deleted. MyLot wants you to be as detailed as possible. You earn better that way, too. I can see where you are going with this, and one advantage to an apartment is you have no upkeep or lawn care. Maybe you guys could find a place that needed a manager, and you could do it.

I suppose I just wish we had a bit bigger of a place. My husband and I really only occupy one room though we have some of our things scattered throughout the house. I also suppose I wish we had a bit more quiet, we do have that in part of the day and at night, but we don't always have the option of watching the bigger t.v. and can't fit a chair in our room to be able to just sit instead of lay. I am thankful that we do have a place to live, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I keep saying we're going to do this and that but my husband and I are both smart enough to know we shouldn't go out and get in over our heads because of bills etc. We've seen that happen with family and friends and we know it's the best Idea. A doublewide or trailer on the property would be nice, but we've kind of strayed away from that for now. My husband and I were thinking we could rent a place for years and years until the time comes that we would need to move back in to this house to take care of his parents. As things stand, we will inherit this house, and possibly my mother's and I am not sure about my father's though I believe he may be renting? I doubt it as he's making repairs to the house. My mom lives in a trailer that has a tin roof, I've heard that you can't move a trailer or doublewide anymore unless they have proper roofing, maybe shingled? I am not sure if that's considered proper or not. I only mention the trailer because when she passes or when she goes to a home I could have the trailer moved to where we live now, though it would need new carpets, and the walls would need to be painted, the bottom cabinets would probably need to be redone... I know it must sound awful that we'd send my mom to a home but not my husband's parents. My mom is disabled, and the truth of the matter is she's stubborn. She needs to go somewhere now or well more personal things that I'd rather not go into... But as you can see we've got a lot of things we have to think about down the road, we're trying to make the best decisions for ourselves now so we can better take care of our parents in the future. Sorry for the long narrative again!

GG just wanted to say that you are truly an inspiration and given me hope that all is not lost and that we do what we have to do to survive. Big kisses to you.

Yes I know I've got to get a job, or do something to earn a little extra even if it's just doing something a few days a week for minimal pay it would help. Wow that sounds pretty bad but I mean like dog sitting or even in the coming months shoveling snow etc. Mine are not untidy and their kind, lol.. It's just I want us to get out on our own. One member here suggested I look about maybe being an apartment manager, it'd kill two birds with one stone as I could get an apartment for free and I would be getting paid.

That's not such a bad idea. It would sure be a starting point. Good luck whatever you get to do.

My husband mentioned I might have to take business classes which I thought about. It might not be a bad idea though as It would help down the road if we ever wanted to buy places and rent them out etc.

Oh I know all these things! I've had work before, I'm having reservations because my work history wasn't the best, and because I've had interviews with no call backs. I know if I got a job we'd be able to get into our own place a lot sooner. I've thought about receptionist work, there was one on the county channel for like only a few days a week (I believe) and the pay was $8.00 an hour/ or maybe it was $11.00. They'd train me. I should look to see if it's still available as that would be something I could do. Well those jobs were taken, I just checked.. but I can check back often and see. I've also thought about maybe applying for Toys R US seasonally and then seeing if I can't get full time.

Good! If you have a mall near you sometimes they hire people to help during Christmas and also do the stocking up and so forth.

I think that and with my employment history, I just am so afraid of getting a job, doing well and then getting fired and / or wanting to quit. I've had two interviews, and two no call backs. The first person I called back, the second one I did once, but I'm not wanting to call back again for fear of rejection.... I understand you feeling stuck!

I think you either need to find a way to earn a real income online, more than you do now, or you need to find a job, but it needs to be just right. While I am saying this to you, I am also talking to myself, as I am not working at a job right now. I do not mean it to be critical. We can live on what hubby brings in, but it is nicer and more secure if we do not have to do that. Is there some type of job you would like to train for? If so, do that before you take on the expense of rent. You will get to be on your own soon enough, go for the things you really want.

GardenGerty, I hope you realized that your reply here is to my post and I think you meant to follow up on her post not mine. Still your point is on track, just not online with my response.

climber7565, I am sure you mean well by what you say. I will be honest in saying I felt a little hurt by you saying "silly excuse". Yes it is an excuse, I won't deny that, but I would not call it silly. I did not go into detail on exactly why I am afraid of getting another job, but I don't believe my reasons are silly. I appreciate your response. Garden, I am going to be more serious in earning online so that we can save. I know that we do not need to get in over our heads before we look for our own place, and I do believe that I should have some sort of income atleast around $100.00 coming in before we even attempt to get our own place. Getting training is a good idea, there are two temp agencies around here that may be able to train me, though if they can't I could go to the big goodwill store, it's about 45 minutes drive and would be inconvenient so that would be my last resort.

My husband and I will most likely take a lot of the burden of taking care of both sets of our parents. Right now we still live with his parents, and have for three years. There was a short period of time where we moved out, but that was to help someone else. Now we are back and in ways we are itching to leave. I think that it is more that I am itching then that my husband is. I feel bad because in three years we should've saved our money but instead when we did get money we didn't save it or couldn't save it as wisely as we should. I quit my job to be with my husband more and at that time we were just bf and gf. Then I moved in with him and his parents, and we've been here since. I've had another job since then and my husband has had two. I need to find another job so that we can save more, or do something online to help save more. I guess I feel frustrated and overwhelemed, but I also feel bad. My husband and I could be helping more if we could move out but right now we can't. I know that I should do more, be more determined and start to save more, spend less and then before we know it we'd be ready for our own place, but right now we are just saving and spending, getting ready for our own place but not being able to save enough. I am sorry you are feeling a bit overwhelmend and cramped, but it is a good thing what you are doing. Is there a way that you can get a bigger place for your father, grandfather and yourself? or another way to get them more active so that maybe you won't bump heads if that is what is going on? (I do not meant to assume, and I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries).

Hi amoyube1980, Thank you for the comment, you're not out of context at all. There's exactly the same situation here, only that the responsibility rests with the youngest son or daughter, we even have a special name for that child. But times are changing. For one, living spaces are getting smaller; having three generations in one apartment means we're always stepping on each other's toes. Also, couples have fewer children - for instance, I'm the only child, so it's a lot of responsibility and nobody to share. Last but not least, social welfare is supposed to take some of the burden, but it doesn't seem to work. I was always aware that I have to take care of my parents as they grow older, that's why I refused to leave the country when I had opportunities, I wanted to remain close to them. It's just living together in the same house that drives me nuts. I think Seinfeld once said that, no matter how you look at it, moving back with your parents after 30 cannot be presented as a sign of success. Couldn't agree more :)

Hi SomeCowgirl, Thank you for your interest, and no, you're not overstepping any boundaries (I believe that, if I want to keep a problem private or if I don't want to talk about certain aspects, I shouldn't post anything about it on the Internet :) ) A bigger house is not an option, mostly because, being the only source of income for my family, I don't want to take a loan or mortgage. I might be able to pay it back, but what happens if I don't? I believe things will get better once I go back to the office (for reasons too long to discuss here, I'm going to be stuck at home for the next 6 months). The fact that all three of us are at home all the time doesn't help, either. As for your other comments here regarding your employment applications - just don't let them get you down. I friend of mine sent out over 200 applications, and got rejected 199 times, before finally getting a decent job. Another friend worked only temporary positions for seven years before making it. That's just how the market is, don't waste any sleep on rejections, keep going and something will eventually come up.

Hi hardworkinggurl Thank you for your kind and sincere comments. I did not read the comments over at the article and I am glad I did not. I am thankful for what my husband and I have, and I am thankful and appreciative of what my husband earns for us, and all he does. I know he'd like to be able to stay at home too, and there are times that I know he's wished I could find a job. Part of it is my fault, I could be trying harder but first I have to get over the fear of rejection. My work history is not the best, but I also know that this long gap of not being employed isn't going to look good to others either. My last job I was laid off from in February. I am thankful for his parents who are very kind to us and buy things for us, they keep this roof over our heads. We do what we can to help, but sometimes I think I can be a bit ungrateful, I wish we had more responsibility and decision making, even as silly as the brand of toilet paper! I guess it's just longing for freedom, but it's not like they keep us chained up!