Friends that stab you in the back...

Those who stab you in the back, are NOT friends. Friends don't stab you, in back or in front. Friends are friends. Problem arises when we start expecting things from others. Be it friends, family, lovers, partners, neighbours, colleagues, brothers, sisters, society, government ... the list goes on. The day these expectations are not met, we feel cheated. A bit deeper feeling is that of being stabbed in back. Look back and recall days/events when we did things for our own benefit. We were being profited, we got pleasure and all that while did we think about our 'friends'? NO. We completely forgot about them. When we say we sacrificed, helped, went out of way to support friends, once again, honestly, look at your own intentions in doing so. Most of the time there was an objective behind it. There was a motive in our action. This is why, unexpected behaviour by our friends, hurt our ego and we label it as being 'stabbed' in the back. Read my opening statement. Friends don't stab. For a moment, if you see such behaviour by others towards you, think about it as reflection of your own actions. At first your ego, will refuse. Clear the smog on the mirror. Observe carefully and you will soon see the real picture. Understand, whatever happens in our life, what ever comes in our experience, is our responsibility. We attract it. Our conscious mind does not even know it since it is always busy playing the role it has assumed in this society. Our conscious mind is only, at the most, 5%. Remaining 95% is the sub conscious and that is far too more powerful. So what do we do now? Nothing. I say. Suggestion is, 'Live with your heart and Think with your mind. Don't confuse the role.' Think about it. Let me know what your heart says and also how your mind tried to reason against it. Peace be with you.

Sometimes human beings are just like that.. but sometimes the problem is that we expect too much from people, we idealize them because we care about them, ignoring the fact that maybe they are not how we believe them to be. If you know someone really well it is quite hard that this person can hurt us in ways we don't expect. The whole point i think is to know people well enough and to avoid exposing our weakness to those people that we think will exploit them. No one is a saint and no one in completely coherent in life, so every now and then peole backstab you, it is a fact of life that we just have to accept i fear, but if we understand well enough who we have around, we can prevent that backstabbing by avoiding to create the conditions that can make it possible. And above everything else, if you are lucky, you can really meet a friend that is just that, no hidden intent and that will just be there for you because he cares about you. Most people are likely to just use you, but not everyone is like that. There are still decent people out there!

I wish I knew why some people are that way. So, where have you been?

Actually there are good and bad friends. Good friends won't hurt you or stab you in the back. I know how you feel. Me and my best friend was stabbed in the back by another friend of his. It happened in high school and that person maligned the two of us for something that we did not even do!!! Luckily my form teacher got to the bottom of this and found that the person who maligned us had some sort of an attitude problem. It's good to have friends, just make sure that YOU'RE MAKING THE CORRECT FRIENDS. If you don't have friends, you'll be bored and when in times of difficulty, you have no friend to confide in and that's really lonely.

Yeah I once had two mates walk me into a massive beaten by about eight other guys. I still have pretty serious scaring on my arms, chest and back. Your best just to have about four really close friends and a few good acquaintances if you know what I mean. Best of luck and don't let them get you down to much.

As of my experience you should learn that you should never trust anyone. You could only depend on your self. Hell, you can't even trust yourself if we think about it! You should approach people with caution. You could have friends, but never ever give up all your secrets. Never give yourself fully. Never show the true you that you know they might use against you someday if the friendship goes wrong. At times I forget this way of thinking, and then later on something will happen that will zap me back to reality. Enjoy having friends and everything, but do so with caution. Perhaps sometimes you could sit down and think about the things you could say about you to someone who is your friend. That way, you would not need to watch your words all the time and appear paranoid for they'll use that against you as well. And paranoia is different from being cautious.

Yes, this is really nasty! When you think you have good friends and all of a sudden there is a dramatic change and they suddenly stab you in the back and they really twist the knife in the process to make matters worse! I had a friend like that once upon a time and well, I felt betrayed so I quickly ended the friendship and the most painful thing was the fact that we had been friends for a number of years. I don't know why friends would do this but there's obviously something lacking in their own lives and I'm sure that they are quite jealous! They may be envious of you as well! I don't have too many friends in my life, not the physical kind! I have quite a few different friends online and we have just been chatting in cyberspace as it were. I don't think it is such a good idea to become extremely close with your friends and it's a good idea to keep certain information secret and not to reveal everything, I'm beginning to learn that now. Anyway, to all backstabbers in the world, you will receive your just desserts and the same will happen to you so watch out! Andrew

hello zorrogirl! i understand what you're feeling now, for i had been through such painful stage in my life that i promised myself to never go through it again, if i can help it. But as we know, we are only humans and as goodhearted as we are, we are always trusting people, expecting them to return that trust. what hurts me really is the fact that those who stabbed me in the back were the people i considered my real friends. what's worse, i had often helped them in the past, many times, getting them out of sticky financial situation without them repaying me, and even saved them thrice from being fired from their job, their only means of income. when i think about it, i have not really done anything wrong or bad to them. i had the chance to have an open talk with one of the "supposed friend" after our falling out. she had no choice but to talk to me, i cornered her. i just wanted to know what have i done to make her do what she did. i was tired of forgiving her so many times and when confronted, she said i had done nothing wrong. She was just jealous that i have a good paying job, high salary and position, i have a good and handsome partner who loves me, i have a supportive family and everything else that she doesn't have.she was jealous and so she did what she did to get back at me. i left if at that. but not before i told her that she would die envying me because the one thing she could never have again, is a friend like me.

I have many friends that I can just call friend. I used to get in a lot of trouble for trusting them so much in the past, whatever secret I told them about myself will be passed on to other really fast. So now I'm keeping only a few but I never let them get too close in my life.

they are not real friends. but not everyone are like those so don't stop searching for real friends, they could be just around. sometimes, they will get near you unexpectedly. those back-stabbers will surely learn their lessons soon. something similar might happen to them and they will know how it hurts to be back-stabbed.

Yeah we sometimes hurt by our friends but I do not think you should lose confidence in real friend.We can have many so-called friends but it is hard to make a true friend. More times we just spend our vacant time with them. These friends will consider more about themselves than you. we all have such situation, so do not refuse everyone who comes to you, but learn to take care of yourself.

i have been stab in the back by my 3 close friends..and it hurts me to much,i treat them as my older sister since 2 of them is a lot older than me and the other one we're same age.i help them to watch their kids,let them borrow money from me without paying it back sometimes but they dont care,in short im being good to them like always.i gave them a chance but they still stab me and make stories,lies,ect.then i said that im going to let them go and move on.enjoy life do things just by myself and make new good friends.i make new good friends but even that they are good and i trust them i still keep things that i dont want the whole world to know.one thing i can tell you is make new good friends,enjoy and trust them but dont share everything or happenings in your life!

I won't make friends with those who tells me that someone else is bad. For a very simple reason,if someone can stab the others in their back,he can also stab you in the back,too! Be careful!Don't get too close with these people,they will break your heart sooner or latter!

this is why i make friends but never keep too close or they will stab you in the back

oh, we can't expect people to always be the one we want them to be... right? after all life is not like that.. we sometimes do have our own choices and that what makes te difference in friendship - their loyalty can't be 100%to you... of course we can only be 100% loyal to ourselves.

They do it because they do not realise the value of having people caring for them and want to think only of themselves. How sad.

I will say that i have been stabbed in the back loads of times by friends that i have known for years aswell as the ones that you think are nice and have not known that long.I have trusted friends in the past,but now i dop not tell people things that i do not want them to know,never trust anyone is my answer.

I have experience so many bad things in my life but being stabbed in the back by someone I truly cared and helped, hurts more than anything else. I have tried in my years not to allow people to change my character, but I cannot help it as they are low down and dirty and apparently did not care about me as a person to have caused and or done me wrong.

A suggestion I can offer is to not get really close to these people you call friends. Let them be there for you if you need them and be there for them when they need you. aside from that, being really close to someone would make some reason and room for jealousy, envy, and insecurity. I have lots of friends but I dont really get myself be close with them unlike a very few I have proven to be the best friends i ever had.

People who stabbed you in your back, especially your so called friends, who are nice to you when your in front of them, and then pull you down when you're not around, are not true friends.. Real friends are those who don't put on masks, and are loyal to you come what may.. I have myself a couple of fair-weather friends, but, in the long run when we have fights and we overcome it, our friendship becomes deeper.. Because we understand each other better than before.. I guess it's just a matter of self-expression and understanding them that they have insecurities and problems, but it's kind of hard to do, especially when you are young.. It's part of growing up.. having an open communication I think is best to do.. I learn more in my mistakes than in my rightful acts.. But others who seem like irreconcilable to be with, are better left to their own selves..Right???