Victim of Gossip

In the first place, I would like to point out you have a problem of vocabulary... and that you cannot call this person a friend. :) Second, move on. Find better friends. There will always be people who tell bad things about you. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words won't get you.

hello phillip3! i emphatize with what you're feeling as i had a subject of a malicious and baseless gossip too, spread by a friend who was in fact my very close friend. No, i won't cry like you did. it hurt me very deeply for i did not expect something like that from a friend. what's unacceptable to what he did, he spread the gossip about me to spite me, thinking that i had no time for her and had other new friends. imagine, going office to office, telling the stories about me, who would not believe her? she was my best friend. for sometime, i had insomnia, thinking where did i go wrong with her, what have i done to merit such treatment from her. But i ignored the gossip and acted nonchalantly about it, though deep inside i was badly hurt. I confronted her, and after expressing myself, she could start telling things about me again, so that i can make sure i will drag her in court to prove her lies. I was serious about it, i would really file a case against her - oral defamation, to teach her a lesson. thankfully, she's a changed person now, or so it seemed. won't even say anything against me for any reason. but i am still awaiting the moment that she will have a slip. she had done enough damage already.

This person obviously does not understand what the true meaning of friendship is. They were not/are not your friend, or they would not spread rumors and gossip about you. True friendship is denoted by the actions of a person to be selfless towards another, to be there when that other person is in need, and to bring a laugh and a smile to that other person. In return, if you find a friend who does these things for you, you should return them fully, and that is how friends should be to each other. Anyone who starts baseless rumors and lies about others can not possibly qualify as a friend in that instance. You are better off without this person in your life.

Hi Phillip, It is not nice when you become the subject of gossip. You do feel like you are on your own. I've been thru a similar situation. You did right to understand and control your emotions. I did the same thing when it happened to me, and in the end I realized the truth behind the gossip. It does not seem as bad as it sounds. I'm quite a deep thinker, so therefore, it was easier for me to see where this was all coming from. And what I did, was ignored the bad in it and saw the good on my part. To me, it was a message to let me know, that I should trust in myself and not worry what others think of me. It's the other person who needs to fix themselves instead of laying blame or whatever it is they are saying about you. I hope that was of any help to you.

Through your description, I think your friend donot meant to hurt you, she just does not concern your feeling and want to show off in front of others. So I think you can try to tell her about you true feeling about her gossip, and tell her not to hurt you anymore.If it does not work, I think maybe you can keep a distance from her so that you won't be hurt.

Its hard to find good friends nowadays whom we can really trust and will not betray us. Its a good think that you did not engage to physical violence rather than you stayed calm and you understand your friend and had time to know what was her intention.

i know it's hard not to listen to gossip. but you keep on going and dont worry about it. people who know who you are will still be there at the end of it. i was out for a nice bit of trouble the other night involing my ex. just to show him how much better life is with out him. my mum saw the funny side of it, but my dad didnt. didnt work any way. the person who said these things must have also been jealous of you.

From the word itself "Gossip", you should not be in the first place worry. If you know yourself, and that gossip isn't really true, then by all means, you can stand up and walk with heads up high. You know where to stand and you know yourself more as much as others. Don't get affected by it. I also suggest that you confront the person who is gossiping you, but realize this, you should be with a witness so that the matter will be settled in a professional and well mannered way. You need not to fight that person. You should just tell her why is she spreading such lies, if it were a lie. A witness should be there to stand in between you two and he or she should not be bias. The witness should be someone to counsel you both. A matured, respected and trusted person that both of you know. You are involve in the issue, so i suggest that you get a person to settle you both in a nice and just way,hope this helps.

I know alot of things about alot of people and i also get told things that people are doing,aswell as wht they are saying about other people and to be honest with you i do not go any where,so i hear it from people that come here.What people have to say about other people tends to go in one ear and out of the other.I have had people talk about me in the past,not that i really care,so i do not even tell close friends things anymore.

I'll feel very outrageous.... And like you I'll cry myself to sleep the whole night too. But, I will never be friends with her anymore. If she can do that to me once, there's a a good chance she will do it to me again, whatever purpose it serves her. It is not fair and friends should take care of each other , not use them for selfish interest and benefit... I may be able to forgive her but I can never trust her again... Goodluck to you...

It is good that you tried to figure out why your friend did what she did to you. Even so, this individual needs serious help and cannot be trusted. I would cut the relationship. Take it from someone who knows--this type of personality in your life will cause more harm than any good. I do try to analyze why someone would do something harmful. It is usually as you said, for recognition, or for power, control and manipulation. Recently there was a group of people, myself included. In this group was one person who was stirring things between us all. Lies were told and people mistrust each other. This was done to keep the people involved with this person from communicating with one another. He attempted to alienate us from one another in this group, perhaps so we would not begin to compare stories about the trouble maker.

Gossip is a sin. Gossip is a doing of those people with low education. Instead of minding their own business they are interfering with others life.

i was once in your side before, im the subject of gossip. I almost cried everyday. Because of their dirtiest allegations against meh, i had to give up my career. my dignity and cridibility was ruin. What i did was i stay out of that kind of people. I don`t think its healthy if i continue pretending that im ok, but its not. I believe that lots of people love meh and trust me. What more important is i always have family beside me.