Is love a selfish motive?
By ubermensch
@ubermensch (136)
Philippines
October 5, 2010 12:28am CST
It is commonly accepted and acknowledged by most of us what has been said by John Donne that argues "no man is an island." Indeed, there is a point in saying this because man is considered to be as a social animal. Why we need to be with others. I think there is a need because of man's insufficiency. Granted that man has all he needs, do you think that he needs others? Also in the act of loving, it is a result of one's awareness that he/she is lonely and wants to be with other. Many people will resort to orgiastic state like drinking and other pleasurable activities. Others will try to be a member or to conform to a certain group. But these appeals do not satisfy the longing for something. They are intense yet they are impersonal and transitory. The only solution is love. This is the giving of whole self to the other. Then, the loving encounter and the meeting of people follow.
The desire to solve loneliness by love is a selfish act? May I know your position concerning this topic?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@rdramirezC (240)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
If it's selfish motive it wasn't LOVE at all but it's LUST./.
real love knows when to let GO...knows how to sacrifice a single thing in life if needed...
LOVE ?,,..It would take long to say how it means to me...
you have to discover it through yourself ..
@daiweian06 (1405)
•
6 Oct 10
May be we're just being selfish in different way. Humans commit failure. So some of us really don't know if that would be enough. Just like my boyfriend. He even dont want me to apply for a job. He don't want me to have new friends. He is so selfish.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
5 Oct 10
I would not think of love as being a selfish motive for anything. When we give love, it comes from the heart. Nothing can be more unselfish than that. @Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
I think love is never selfish. My best definition of love will have to be in the bible corinthians 13. If you really love someone you will do your best to make that other person happy and not expect anything in return. What matters is that the other person is happy.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
5 Oct 10
I think if you love someone because they need you, it is unselfish. If you love someone only because you need them, it is selfish.
An unselfish love will understand if the one you love cannot give love for a time because they are troubled, or in pain...
While a selfish love will walk away if it does not receive what it craves.
@cinjhoxmyltc (334)
• Philippines
5 Oct 10
True love is not selfish. Instead true is giving without asking in return. This is the true meaning of love. Loving someone wholly without reservation and full of sacrifice is the characteristics of being in love. It just a matter of giving and sharing to someone without asking in return. Sometimes love looks selfish because you're giving away yourself to your lover even disregarding the friends' advices. It may look selfish but it is just an act of loving to someone.
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 10
love is a selfish motive ? hmmmh 
... I've never heard of this discourse. But reading your description, makes me curious to respond it and I think that love does have a selfish nature. Because in feelings of love, there is a feeling to own and control
... I've never heard of this discourse. But reading your description, makes me curious to respond it and I think that love does have a selfish nature. Because in feelings of love, there is a feeling to own and control
@getbiswa2000 (5544)
• India
5 Oct 10
Hello,
Men can be thought to have either an entirely social motif, or, an entirely personal motif, but never both. In either case the wider aspects of social welfare can be achieved. As for love, it can be of several kind. We love our neighbors (at least pretend to do so) because we want to be loved in return. The more selfish one becomes the lesser becomes one's perimeter of operation. For example, one first learns to love one's parents. Then he will learn to love his siblings, and then cousins. Without climbing these stairs, one really can't even claim to have loved the neighborhood or community or even country. When you love your girlfriend, it is a mixed feeling of pleasure and comfort. You adopt a new habit of having her around. The fulfillment of desire and expectation conglomerates to form a clumsy definition of love, and love it is indeed. Without expectations of some kind of return human beings don't love each other. But even that is good. This form the basic fiber of our social structure. Whenever the expectations are thwarted we withdraw. This leads to break up, conflicts, war, revolution etc. They are all included in larger concept of social activities. Thanks.
God bless you.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
When someone use love over someone who is rich or good looking just to be rich and for their prides, and also when someone use love to deceive a woman or man just so they get satisfaction for themselves, then yes we call their love are just a selfish motive and means nothing else. But if we are with someone we really love by heart, that we are willing to be with the person in whatever matters, trouble, and happiness then I think that one is not a selfish motive.
