Why am I still friends with these people?
By saizo6
@saizo6 (2199)
United States
October 5, 2010 1:17pm CST
I consider myself to be a nice person and I'm always looking to make new friends. But sometimes I find myself asking why I'm friends with certain people. There are two people that come to mind whenever I think this. They aren't bad people or anything like that but I really don't like the way they act sometimes. Whenever they are doing well off (money wise) they act all high and mighty and they are too good to associate with me. But whenever they are down on their luck they act like I'm their best buddy (convenient to have around so that they can borrow money). I can brush that kind of attitude off if it happens once or twice but this is like a never ending cycle. And I'm getting sick of it. Sometimes I really want to cut all ties but I'm not that harsh and I don't want to deal with all the drama. I just know there'll be a bunch of drama going on if it does happen.
How do you suppose I should go about this? Should I confront them about their behavior? I really want to settle this without things getting blown out of proportion and becoming messy.
4 responses
@IoanaBI (494)
• Romania
5 Oct 10
Hello Saizo! I think that not borroing them money next time they ask, will make them see that you are not for granted, and so, your friendhip is not for granted. I do not think it is correct to call them your friends, when obviously, (do not make a face now),they are not. You can say that they are people who you know, but not friends.
1 person likes this
@saizo6 (2199)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Yeah, I refer to them more as acquaintances than friends these days. I don't need people who consider me a friend only when it's convenient for them. But you do have a point. I think I'll just stop loaning money to them when they need it. I won't even have to make up an excuse since I am strapped for cash at the moment. Thn
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
5 Oct 10
This may be a good time to test if they are truly worthy of your friendship...
During one of their "doing well" times, would they give you money if you asked? If not then you have your answer.
I have several friends who's financial success varies; but the thing is, when I have money and they don't, I share. The thing that makes it worth it to me, is when they have money and I don't, they share. It's a mutual support thing...
Honestly, I wouldn't confront them. It will not do any good. And besides, it's not about the MONEY, it's about knowing your friends will do for you, what you do for them. Whether it's a ride when your car brakes down, a borrowed few bucks, or a shoulder to lean on. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@saizo6 (2199)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Hmmm...that is very good advice. I haven't asked to borrow money from them before but I have asked for small favors to varying success. Sometimes they'll help me out (giving me a ride somewhere or picking up something for me) and sometimes they won't. I think that's why I still consider them friends even with that behavior. They have helped me out a few times and I don't want to forget that.
And you're right. I honestly didn't want a confrontation of any kind since I'm not the confrontational type to begin with.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
5 Oct 10
I think the best way to approach this.. is to drop them. You could do much better. There's no reason to hang around with people who think they're better than you. What I would do (and this is not necessarily the most mature thing in the world) is to ignore them when they call, or be constantly unavailable. Or do something like that. And for a long time! They learn. They'll take a hint with any luck.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
Why don't you just let it phase out. Slowly let them slip off of your friends circle until they're totally out. You can't just end friendship by announcing it. You gotta have some strategy on how to end it.
