Your Broken Hearted Sister asks Advices from you Ex-Fiance_ Is it okay?
By kyss_smyle
@kyss_smyle (166)
Philippines
October 8, 2010 10:20am CST
Seven years ago, while in my wedding dress and inside our wedding car, the priest informed me that my wedding is canceled because my groom is no longer coming.
That was the darkest day of my life. I was filled with shame and hatred. I could not barely breathe because my heart seems to explode.
Now after seven years, my sister experienced a similar ordeal (the difference is that her fiance backed out three months prior to the wedding). In search for answers, she turned to my ex-fiance.
My ex-fiance gladly explain things to her (which of course, somehow try to explain his faults). He then became my sister's adviser.
I felt that it was not okay. My sister should have thought about the shame and pain I went through along with the embarrassment of being in the church on a wedding dress but without a groom.
Am I right about how I feel?
2 people like this
7 responses
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
10 Oct 10
You are right to be bothered. If your ex wasn't honest with you how can your sister expect him to be honest with her? They will probably get married soon themselves! That's just wrong for her to go to him...you don't bring ex's into family situations!
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
13 Oct 10
I hear you completely! I actually still love my ex, but it's that he's two people. The one is a great guy, the other is an abuser and very oppresive. That's the one I can't stand!
@kyss_smyle (166)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
I also believe that ex's have no place in the family. I hope my sister read all these. She thinks I am over-reacting about the thought. I am married now with three kids and she accused me of being "still in love" with my ex because his presence or even a thought of him still bothers.
I am not "still in love" with my ex. I hate him for all the things he had done... and the reason why I am bothered about his presence or even a thought of him is simply because I felt that he has no place in my family. I want to make him feel that he lost that on the day he chose not to show up on my wedding day. I felt that through it I have at least made my revenge. It is just so sad that my sister never supported what I really feel.
1 person likes this
@blomst (71)
• Malaysia
9 Oct 10
It would seem to me that your sister is hurting and was trying to understand why her ex-fiance back out from their wedding. Thus, she went to your ex-fiance as she probably think he could have the answer. However, both men are two different individuals so she should have gone to the main source of the problem- her ex-fiance.
It is hurtful and disrespectful that she did not considered your feelings and the ordeal that you went through seven years ago. It is not okay.
@kyss_smyle (166)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
I wish my sister can read your comment. I don 't know what my ex-fiance did to her why she seemed to believe all of his explanations. But you are right, my ex-fiance and her ex-fiance are two different individuals. She'll never understand her ex-fiance by simply understanding my ex.
@piya84 (2581)
• India
9 Oct 10
I think she was desperate for answers and went to your ex fiancé. That want a good thing. She shouldn’t have done that but you know I guess she is in total confusion and people tend to take not so good decision in this state of mind.
@kyss_smyle (166)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
I agree, my sister was desperate and confused. I did try to tell her that going to my ex-fiance would only create more confusion. His explanations made her feel it was her fault... something that he wanted me to believe in order to justify why he did not showed up to our wedding.
@bamrahkirti (1821)
• India
9 Oct 10
Ya she should not have done this.
As a matter of fact she should have come to you.Going to the person who betrayed her own sister is a pure nonsense.
I fully sympathize with you .I do not know what were the circumstances that led your ex fiance to take that decision but backing out on the marriage day is totally unacceptable and intolerable.Your sister should have understood your emotions and feelings before going to him.
I fully sympathize with you .I do not know what were the circumstances that led your ex fiance to take that decision but backing out on the marriage day is totally unacceptable and intolerable.Your sister should have understood your emotions and feelings before going to him.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
9 Oct 10
When it comes to a broken heart, we find solace where we can. If your ex-fiance can give comfort to your sister over failed romance, then we should not stand in the way.@kyss_smyle (166)
• Philippines
9 Oct 10
I know it's her life and I should not stand in the way... But do you think it is not proper?
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
8 Oct 10
Personally I feel your sister could have come to you, having first hand experience with the feeling. Having gone to your ex-finance to me seems like a slap in the face to you. I mean you were in your wedding dress, so why on earth would she think anything he has to say would be of comfort to her.
If anything you could provide the comfort as you have the first hand experience. I do not get this I would be really upset with your sister as well. At some point you should let her know that she has done wrong. If your ex-fiance was such a great person who could have broken off the relationship prior to the big day. Sorry I just want to say, that I would be very upset with your sister. It would have been different if your ex was in the same room as she was explaining but to draw to him as if he was the best example, Ugh!!!
