being friend is not easy

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i have this friend who experiences this scenario. her boyfriend once had an admirer, which then happened to be favored by the family. the boyfriend's sister befriended by the admirer and oftentimes, she sleeps over in the family's house. this pissed by friend off since it is an open book that she is the girlfriend and the fact that this girl admirer had a thing over her boyfriend. but the family spoiled the admirer since they do not favor the relationship of their son with my friend. there was a time that admirer said to the family that she was diagnosed of cancer and she wanted the boyfriend to visit her in the hospital. the family pleaded their son to do so, and he did. this rocked the relationship but was then reconciled. then one time, the family went to a vacation including the admirer. the befriended sister (of my friend's boyfriend) lost her waller, including the other friend's laptop. when the admirer went to the house, they saw the stolen wallet in the admirer's bag. this made them think that it is possible that she also stole the laptop. they confronted the admirer and she admited it. it was then that admirer stops staying on boyfriend's house. my friend rejoices this. the case is this. whenever my friend and her boyfrined fight over a simple thing, my friend's blood boils whenever she remembers what the family did to her, and this simple arguments turn to disaster. i always tell her that she should stop digging the past and she must move on since the admirer is now out of the scene. but she kept complaining that she couldn't control herself from complicating things. she believes that the boyfriend should have done something bout the admirer staying over the boyfriend family's house. i advised her not to continue the relationship. was it a right advise? am i not being a friend for feeling irate whenever she tells me that they fight (again)? am i being b*tch for losing appetite if she starts fretting on their conversation turned up (of course, they fight again and again)? does it make me less friend for these?