If you have a child with your BF.. should you marry him?

i don't see getting pregnant with my boyfriend as a reason to marry. at some point it could be, but for me marriage doesn't solely depend on having a child with my partner. society has become very stiff regarding standards that it has become misleading and pressuring on the part of the couple who are not ready to commit with each other. for me, unless both are ready to do a binding act then taking responsibility of the kid will be fine until the right time comes for both of the parties to decide. i don't want to take things negatively but if in case things don't go well between me and my guy, i don't want him blaming me or my parents for pushing him to marry me just because we got a child out of wedlock. if after some time we find ourselves meant for each other, then marriage will be on the way. but if things turned otherwise, i wouldn't think twice about not getting married. i've always had the idea that i don't need a guy to raise my (future) child well. i have all the love i can give the kid and there's my family to help me give my child a good future.

no^^ they shouldnt force their children to marry just bcs they are pregnant. we should marry if we are sure of it. so if the girl and her bf dont want to marry is ok. they can still create the baby together without marry^^ i know that maybe those parents are afraid that the baby is born and see their parents separated but that doesnt make sense. you can have a bf and be pregnant and he can still see the baby everyday and care for him even not marrying you^^ and be an active father anyway^^ thats what matters the most^^ that both care for the baby^^

In our country it's okay not to marry the guy if you are both not yet ready. In fact, parents would recommend for their children not to marry first. The couple should observe things first and from there they can decide if indeed their love for each other is for long-term.

Traditionally, this is seem the right thing to do but I'd say, NO. I will not marry my bf because we have a love child. Marriage is something that is sacred as well as it needs commitment. When commitment is not present in your mind and heart, then, it is not the time for you to get married even if there's a child involve. I have known through experience that a child will not strengthen the bond or love when the parties or spouses involve want to end the marriage. I was young when I got pregnant but I did not marry the father of my first born because I don't feel I can live the rest of my life with him. Yup, it is true that this is unfair(so it seems ) for my daughter but I know in my heart that it will be more unfair to her if I marry his father and yet leave him in the future. I am now married to a different man and through the ups and downs we are still together. Situations that I will never handle this way or I could have given up so easily if I am with my ex...

I wouldn't force or whatever. I'd be a lot happier though if he voluntarily takes whole responsibility of it, just makes you realise how serious a person can be if that person loves someone :) If not though, I'd accept it and go ahead with life. I will raise the kid with all effort myself.

i wont marry my bf, just because for the baby's sake.....baby should not be the reason for trapping yourself into marriage you are not prepared for....and so for those parents, they should not force their children for getting married just because baby is on the way...forcing may only cause to make things more complicated....

Of course I will marry my Bf. Not only because of pregnancy, but because of too much in love. Definite relationship of love, so wedding occurs not only due to pregnancy. But also because of love.

Hello Chiyosan, Well, I am a guy and I am not sure if such problem occurs now, i doubt the guy/girl would eventually agree to it if they are not inlove.some people i think prefer taking care of their child on their own. But in my case, I'd rather Marry her and get to know her better there. if things don't work out, id rather wait for her to leave me than the other way around. besides, it's my kid, i wouldn't want a broken family.i am sure i will learn to love her more in time. but i'd rather have her leave me first.

Having a child with someone should not be the reason that we consider marriage to them. you should only marry someone because you love them and want a future with them. Any other reason could result in an unhappy relationship.

So many would say it is the right thing to do and yes it can be, however marriage is a commitment and one that should not be taken lightly. One should commit to knowing each other seeing if a family life together could be the right decision. It is really a controversial subject as when they are teens they are not looking at the full picture although some parents feel it is the right thing to do. I feel if the couple feels strong enough and willing to commit to a marriage then why not. But if the couple does not feel the commitment would be there then perhaps it is not wise. There is no reason they cannot be mother and father to the child with the full marriage commitment.

Well to me, since it is not happening to me right now..then I assume that the only way my bf can get me pregnant is when both of us allow and want it to happen. You only get pregnant suddenly out of your willingness if you got rape or something. So why not, means that happened because we both love each other and it was our decision, as I said the only way for him to get me pregnant is by discussing it with me first then we both agree if we want a child or not. I don't think my bf will rape me and make me pregnant just like that. Plus we are a grown-up and not a teen. And of course the child deserves to get all care from his or her parents, not only just the mother, or just the father. I don't tend to get a child with intention to deprive them from living a normal family life like other kids do. Have a nice day

I don't think I will enter into a marriage just becoz I got pregnant. Unfortunately, it's not enough to hold a marriage. Both parties need to be prepared emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually.

No,Being pregnant with your bf and marrying him are two different stories. Marriage should not be forcibly enforced when such situations happen,both parties should be ready and willing to get married not just because of the child but because both parties want to and love each other.

of course it have to marie him. he is father of your baby. there are no baby want to be born wothout father

I think 30 years ago this was standard if you got a girl pregnant you had better marry her because you were ruining her life. Thats the way I had things explained to me but that was before I was born. I think its terrible really. On one hand yes awesome the father is there to support the mother and child but then again you might not necessarily like each other and it can be many years of bitterness. Now a days I really think its better NOT to get married unless you truly love that person. Being pregnant is not a good enough reason to marry someone. That might ruin your life rather then the child!

I think a woman should marry the father of her baby, it is natral here in my place.

I think that there are other concerns to think of aside from the baby on the way. If both parties agree to marry, why not? If one party disagrees, then it should be discussed further. There is no use getting married if it would only end up being broken.