I don't think he understand when I said "its over"

This is truly hard dear, and I have first hand experience with the same situation. I married very young to a man 10 years my elder and I too tried all I could to keep the marriage together for the sake of the children. Not having parents of my own I wanted my children to have the full family life. Although I had a really bad experience I one day decided enough was enough. I do not advice anyone what would be right or wrong when it comes to relationships. The only thing I can say when someone asks me directly is think about 10 years from now, as you know they are going to go by whether you want them to or not. So think about how you want to be living them and if this is the answer. One thing to keep in mind as I did while struggling with my failed marriage is that I knew at some point I would end up alone with my two children and well I would be dealing with the destruction by myself. As we all know troubled marriages spill over to emotional scaring from children. This is where I decided that if I was not emotionally stable then I would not be able to overcome any problems with my children. I was afraid, hon about raising my kids alone and the financial problems I would face. I did struggle but God has blessed me with two wonderful and respectful adults who admire me for doing everything alone. While you are trying to determine which is the better route remember that your children will love you anyways and sanity is much more important. Good luck whichever route you take and many blessings to you and your children.

sorry friend, i did not know that you are married, so i express my wishes for your soul mate. anyway, to look for other man or not to look for other man? i puzzle. i think you should go back and to evaluate him or give him a chance to be positive. he may be already lamented by his stuffs. so, just ask him what he really wants to do with you.you may consult with a lawyer but i never say you to break the relation immediately. take care.

Its hard sometimes to get people to accept that its over. I went through the same thing with my ex. He never wanted to change until I called things off with him and told him that I wanted a divorce. He wouldnt believe it. It took him about a month before I got him to understand that I was serious. When he realized the truth he tried to kill himself. Hes really messed up since then but my marriage was horrible from the start I couldnt stay in that relationship any longer. He might have felt like killing himself without me but I didnt think I could go on with him. I feel so much better when hes not around. I can be myself.

Divorce is a sticky problem. What more if they are children involved. I think if there is no longer love and trust, the best is just to go ahead with the divorce.

I believe in due time he will realize that you no longer want him back. I suggest you stay in your mom's house. That's gonna be hard if you are together because he has a history of beating you up and it might happen again if is provoked. Oh I have an idea; I think this is the fastest. If you go back to him, and the next time he hits you, go to the police right away to file a blotter report. At least you have a strong evidence when you file a divorce case against him.

Use the Colt .45 that is on your kitchen!

Enough is enough and it is time to move on in life when being in an abusive relationship will only create an emptiness with the man you call 'husband'. An abusive husband is nothing but a dangerous beast, a demon who only portray angelic face in public but in fact a criminal that should be put behind bars for not only trying to harm you physically but mental torture is no better than the pain it caused on the flesh. An abusive person is never remorseful and it is an inborn character he brought to the marriage. A zebra can never change its spot. His crocodile tears is only a way to entice you back to his fold and should never be pitied. Be strong otherwise you will end up again as his punching bag. Don't ever give him any chance to manipulate you again. I am sure your five months of being alone without seeing his ugly shadow is a gateway to annul your marriage and live an independent life without ever being tortured again. Life is too short to live in miseries and putting up with an abusive husband will only expedite the journey to the grave. Go girl, don't waste a minute as this world still is a beautiful place to live without people that has become a torn in your life!

It's a difficult problem. You have to feel comfortable without your husband. While your husband, want you back. You better tell your husband that you are more comfortable and happy without your husband. Tell me also, you have the right to be happy.

hi ellie, it depends on the situation.. the reason and factors involved varies. but it has to be mutual decision, it has to be properly done so that each other can accept the consequences and will know how to move on upon that 'its over' decision. happy mylotting. :-)

Tell him that if he truly loved you and wanted you to be happy, he would let you go. If he cares at all about how you feel or what you want, he will not only be okay with letting you leave but should HELP you leave. File for the divorce. Life is too short to be wasting on people who hurt you. Time may also help him get used to the idea that you are done with him. The sooner everybody moves on, the better. Tell him to stop focusing on you so much because that opportunity has passed him by, tell him it is time to start focusing on his new life, so that both of you can move through this transitional period on to a better life.