Banned From The Supermarket!

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I was inspired by a recent posting by Fjaril about his experience in a supermarket queue, to share a story which was sent to me. Apparently this did really happen. Regardless, it made me almost pee my pants laughing! The Purina Diet "Yesterday, I was at my local Co-Op, buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet, and was in the check out queue when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? An elephant? So, since I'm retired, and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before waking up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it works is to load your pockets up with nuggets and eat one or two each time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story). Horrified, the woman behind me asked if I had ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off the curb to sniff a Red Setters bum, and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from the Co-Op"