Your boyfriend is not your life (or is he?)
By maezee
@maezee (41988)
United States
October 10, 2010 5:42pm CST
I am honestly to the point where yes, I am single, but I can't on earth think of why someone would want to spend every waking minute with their boyfriend (or girlfriend). but I have two good friends who have boyfriends. That's great, because I'm not very demanding of time - we probably see each other once a week, and that's totally fine by me - as I am usually busy with work or family or doing whatever it is I end up doing (MyLot ? haha). Anyway, point being, it irritates me SO much when I see both of these girls act like these guys are their LIVES. C has been dating her guy for about 9 months, and D has been dating her guy for about ~1 year. I have been seeing less and less of them since. Both of these friends of mine - I love them to death, but this is something that we disagree 110% on, in life. This is probably because I'm not all weird and in love and obsessed with a guy (as I am single, like I said, and haven't had a boyfriend in.. yikes.. a year and 3 months?) But even when I was in a relationship (hey, it was a long one for me - about 8 months in total!) he was NOT my life. I saw him about 3 times a week and that was 110% fine.
Doesn't anyone need any personal space anymore?
And what happened to "sisters before misters"?
It's just irritating to me because both of these girls are like that - we can ONLY hang out when either of their boyfriends are out of town or working or busy, otherwise that cuts into their "boyfriend/girlfriend" time, which has to be almost 24/7. I mean seriously.
Maybe I'm the one who is in the wrong here, and maybe it's me who just doesn't get it because I feel like I've never really BEEN at the stage that these two girls are at (and many other people, I'm sure, for that matter). It's beyond me.
Is it really necessary for you to REVOLVE your life around your boyfriend (or girlfriend/sig. other), even if it may not be a long-term thing, even if you have friends, family, and other obligations to take care of?
What do you think? I'm a little fired up about this.. Because it's irritating!
2 people like this
8 responses
@Christinelle (396)
• Greece
11 Oct 10
I'm really the lovey dovey type and like to spend all my time with family. And I mean my own family which I am in the process of creating...scratch that, I'm far from it. Thing is, I'm the kind of girl that wants to be a homemaker(!) I only gave university a chance because I wanted to have a piece of paper and I've been working for almost a decade now just to make money that can help me start a family and have kids. In short, I don't want a career, I want to be a wife and mother. To answer your question, yes, I'd like to spend most of my time with my boyfriend but this doesn't mean I'd like the two of us to be alone. I used to neglect my friends and give priority to my boyfriend but I believe I have found a good balance now. By the way, we've been dating for 15 months or so and now are practically living together so I can't really complain I'm not seeing him much. Another good thing is my two best friends moved in the same building so it's quite convenient.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
11 Oct 10
I know that I'm pretty biased, in that I don't have someone in my life right now that I'd like to spend 99% of my time with. It's just that I feel like guys can be so TEMPORARY, especially when you're my age - and good friends should last forever. I guess this is probably me, and I probably need to grow up. And get a date. lol
@Christinelle (396)
• Greece
11 Oct 10
I believe we're the same age and relationships are always difficult. There's never a point at someone's life that social interactions (platonic or romantic) are easy and simply long-lasting. Effort is needed no matter what so if your friends want to keep holding that position, they should keep trying. It's not mandatory for you to have a boyfriend if you don't feel like it or if you haven't found someone interesting in a while. See if you can all spend time together and maybe those boyfriends can be your friends too (maybe the also have cute brothers or something, haha!) and then a balance will not be hard to achieve.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
Not my life when i'm single but when you are married already for sure your time are all have to spend on them. Husband became your whole life ever. They are demanding and if you failed to do their like they got jealous. So before you go to marry try to think many times before you decide. Have a nice day!
@nichokongo (69)
• Kenya
11 Oct 10
once you get married all the hype you used to have will fade away because you will have a lot of responsibilities to take care of.So, you need to set our mind for life after marriage and make sure you marry a guy that loves you.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
11 Oct 10
OK I see your point, but you are very young, so try this on for size. I was born on the farm where I'm living today, 77 years ago tomorrow. I was married at 21, and Have lived here with my wife ever since. I work the farm, my wife cooks, cleans, keeps the books and get the groceries for us. We sleep together, eat together and have raised 4 wonderful boys together. We have been together for 55 years, and when we are apart (like when she goes shopping) I am not comfortable until she gets home. Is there something wrong with me? or with her?
@doray1960 (98)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
I think you are loving each other very much because you have lasted so long. I'm married for 24 years but I'm so bored with my life and with man I married. I dream of living with another man. I know this is wrong but I cant help it.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
11 Oct 10
Hi Maezee,
You are NOT weird or wrong in your thinking. We all need friends and personal space but too many people put those things on the back burner and put their significant other as their main priority in life. It just can't be healthy for them or the relationship. Friendships are so important and we need to take time to maintain those friendships. It is good to place our significant other high up there on our list of priorities but like with anything else in our lives, too much of a good hing can be a bad thing.
@honeybless (10)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
well for me no,it is not necessary for us..(being someone in a relationship)to revolve our life with our partners..unless that's what your heart's saying...you know if you are madly inlove..you will want to spend the rest of you time/life w/ that person...without him asking you to do so...you will just feel it...
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
11 Oct 10
for me i wish my bf could be my life^^ i really love him so much but we are in a long distance relationship so even if i wanted would be impossible. anyway yes i wish to spend the most part of my time with him^^ but he is always so busy that we cant :( anyway you are right that they could sometimes go out with friends without bf goes also. is ok to have friends also besides bf^^ i agree that they can see them everyday^^ this is also important to me when i love a guy, but dont need to be all the day together^^ im sure you also would like to spend some time with them talking about girls things ahah without their bfs there^^ i understand you but why dont talk with them and say that you miss when you hang out the three of you only? im sure they will understand and will go out with you sometimes even if their bfs cant go also^^
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
11 Oct 10
I'm 26 - engaged with the man of my dreams that I only get to see on the weekends. Our relationship is semi-long distance, since he does live in a different city about 2 hours away from where I live. I don't think my life revolves around him and I don't think his life revolves around me - but life is definitely much easier to handle knowing that he's there when I need him - for good and bad. I can't wait til' I marry the man and go home to him every night after work, wake up next to him the next day, have kids with him, etc.
And you know, I was like you once - before I met this guy. And even when I was in relationships then - I didn't like it when the guy gets too clingy or wants to spend every waking moment with me - until I met and fell for this one.
Almost 3 years, and we still act like we just met yesterday.... =)
Good luck in finding the right one. And hang in there with your friends, I'm sure they don't mean to leave you behind. You should definitely talk to them about it.
@doray1960 (98)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
This sounds ridiculous but this very true. Your lover will become your life especially if you marry this guy.All the days of your married life you will be with this guy. You follow all the things that he is telling you and you will serve him for as long as he lives. This is reality and if you want a successful married life then make him your life.
