ways to make relationships happy
By annavi23
@annavi23 (6522)
Philippines
October 11, 2010 10:46pm CST
hello there,mylotters!
i have noticed some of us here do always have problems when it comes to relationships with their partners.i have searched one article which is a guide to make partners happy with each other.
to sum it up,i can give you my opinions regarding this matter.
basically,the article shows 6 habits that keep couples happy.
1. catch romance where you can. it doesn't mean you have to have public display of affections. well,it's up to you how you can show your love for your partner. if you only have fifteen minutes,why not make use of it,by smiling at each other and spending time together,it doesn't have to be too prepared.simple acts can mean sooo much a lot spent to your love.
2. fight fair. make a rule of never, ever say ‘I told you so’ no matter how much you might want to say it.Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.
learn to understand each other's point of views.
3. nurture your separate selves.you'll feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.plus it can give you more things to share with each other as well.
4. take on a project together. Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!
5. Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle.
lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.
6. engage on some mutual admiration. It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner.A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love.
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9795&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=705664
please do share your views...and experiences...
5 people like this
24 responses
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
hi anna! i agree with your views on making a relationship happy however i rather argue sensibly than fight fair. there's quite a difference to me as i always tell my partner i don't fight with him, i just want a healthy argument or exchange of opinions to learn a lot from. and then just to add to the points, i think appreciation of little things your partner does for you goes a long way. that in itself shows you are being sensitive to his feelings and that he would be willing to do more of it knowing you appreciate his gestures.
2 people like this
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
now,that adds up to how to make happy couples,is that?
very well said,nik! i loved it!
without appreciation, we can't be able to learn how to value our partner more.
we should give time to learn from each other as well and make ourselves more appreciative even in small acts our partner gives us. learning to appreciate things can lead us to healthy relationships.i can say,it can be relationships with other people as well,not just with couples.
very well said,nik! i loved it!
without appreciation, we can't be able to learn how to value our partner more.
we should give time to learn from each other as well and make ourselves more appreciative even in small acts our partner gives us. learning to appreciate things can lead us to healthy relationships.i can say,it can be relationships with other people as well,not just with couples.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
oh no dear, don't blame yourself for not having a perfect relationship. and don't ever think that you basically have to follow rules just to make it work between you and your partner. it will come naturally. at least now you have the idea of how to make a relationship happy but do what is comfortable for you and don't force yourself into something you don't normally feel good about.
you will soon discover on your own what works best and what not. i have just validated annavi's post basing on my experience but no one thing is right in a relationship. only the people involved knows too well what works for them and not. cheer up 
3 people like this
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
12 Oct 10
@Nikramos
Thanks for your sweet encouragement.
Yes, some rules may apply for a group but have different effects on others. I am just trying to be truthful to myself, not for other people benefit. I guess some people do not like to be faced with the truth.
@Voldrox
You've been back for a while, but this is the few occasions that I meet you. Do you fear a relationship or do you fear me?
Yes, some rules may apply for a group but have different effects on others. I am just trying to be truthful to myself, not for other people benefit. I guess some people do not like to be faced with the truth.
@Voldrox
You've been back for a while, but this is the few occasions that I meet you. Do you fear a relationship or do you fear me?1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
14 Oct 10
haha =D I agree upon everything being said in there!! haha =D 
There are so true, especially the point about taking on a project together.. hehe ^_^ Nothing beats doing things together as a couple, and it's not easy to get our partner interested in the activities we are doing.
It never hurts to like and do the same activity because it only bonds a couple tighter, and be there for each other in times of adversity.. haha =D In a relationship, motivation and words of encouragement is always better than fights and arguments.. hehe
There are so true, especially the point about taking on a project together.. hehe ^_^ Nothing beats doing things together as a couple, and it's not easy to get our partner interested in the activities we are doing.
It never hurts to like and do the same activity because it only bonds a couple tighter, and be there for each other in times of adversity.. haha =D In a relationship, motivation and words of encouragement is always better than fights and arguments.. hehe 1 person likes this
@voldrox (7191)
• India
12 Oct 10
Hi annavi,:)
Fairly nice points, and they might help. I would like to add a point here, when a fight breaks out, we need to try to calm down and try to reason things out. We should stop and think about what WE did wrong, instead of trying to find faults in our partners. If the other has done something wrong then they would apologize and if you have done the wrong part then it is for you to apologize. Blaming each other makes things a lot worse. So we need to stop and calm down, before we make things worse. We have to be open to our partners. A relationship cannot be strong unless we remove all the doubts away.
1 person likes this
@Christinelle (396)
• Greece
12 Oct 10
I believe the most important part of a relationship is being spontaneous and not planning every single move ahead of time. I prefer original behavior than something copied off an article. Your advice is good but to me it's better when people do what their heart tells them to do. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
i prefer original behavior than something copied off an article.
very well said,christinelle!
it is just a guide for having happy relationships,my friend! it's up to you to consider those things yourself or do what you believe how to live with your partner.
yes,it's still best to do what your heart really wants to do and have the life you wanted.we all have freedom of choice,so why not do what we want,right?
i am not forcing you to do such which are written in the article,it's like a guide but we have our own minds and freedom to live and think. you can try to do such things,but you just have to be your own self also. all things can be done whole heartedly. and when it comes to relationships,you have the power to choose what to do with your own life...
i hope for your happiness...
it is just a guide for having happy relationships,my friend! it's up to you to consider those things yourself or do what you believe how to live with your partner.
yes,it's still best to do what your heart really wants to do and have the life you wanted.we all have freedom of choice,so why not do what we want,right?
i am not forcing you to do such which are written in the article,it's like a guide but we have our own minds and freedom to live and think. you can try to do such things,but you just have to be your own self also. all things can be done whole heartedly. and when it comes to relationships,you have the power to choose what to do with your own life...
i hope for your happiness...
@my3cents (2)
• United States
13 Oct 10
This is a great article, I think I may even own something similar from psychology today. HOWEVER, through the comments I still have not seen the one main thing that I've learned to make a relationship happy AND LONG LASTING.: OPEN COMMUNICATION
I know people have always heard that communication is key but you truly have no idea until you have found that one that you can talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
I do not mean those that we become infatuated with becasue the conversation never stops. The ones you can shoot the breeze with and talk about nothing and it feels like something. I'm talking about the one person you can talk to about SOMETHING and it feels like nothing. The one that you can admit your deep dark secrets to- all of them- and not be judged. The one that you can openly ask "who were you fantasizing about when we made love?" Yes even topics that seem taboo!
OPEN COMMUNICATION and approaching your loved one with an open heart and open mind. Not being afraid to tell your loved one, "Honey, I haven't been so happy lately and we need to talk about it. I've been talking to this other person and I might be falling for them. But I do love you and I want to see if we can't fix what's going on here. I chose you, I want to work on that"
Thats another important quality- actually putting forth the effort it takes to keep a relationship going, and doing so willingly.
I could go on forever, but I will stop here.
1 person likes this
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
hello my3cents!
you have a great point there,my friend! in relationships,it is really needed to have open communication.by doing this always,we can really make sure what each one is thinking and it's like bonding times as well. couples really need to talk a lot to have better understandings about each one.
well,i guess you are like an expert when it comes to relationships,is that? 
you have a great point there,my friend! in relationships,it is really needed to have open communication.by doing this always,we can really make sure what each one is thinking and it's like bonding times as well. couples really need to talk a lot to have better understandings about each one.
well,i guess you are like an expert when it comes to relationships,is that? 
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
12 Oct 10
All of these are very good points. My husband and I are now working to improve our relationship. I will expand on each listed item below.
1. catch romance where you can. it doesn't mean you have to have public display of affections. well,it's up to you how you can show your love for your partner. if you only have fifteen minutes,why not make use of it,by smiling at each other and spending time together,it doesn't have to be too prepared.simple acts can mean sooo much a lot spent to your love.
My husband and I sit each evening watching television together and we hug and either rub each other's back or legs. We also take time each night when we go to bed to just lie together and talk for a moment and hold each other.
2. fight fair. make a rule of never, ever say ‘I told you so’ no matter how much you might want to say it.Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.learn to understand each other's point of views.
This is the one thing we are really needing to work on. We both have a hard time understanding why the other has certain feelings about things.
3. nurture your separate selves.you'll feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.plus it can give you more things to share with each other as well.
I am really trying to focus on this as well. For many years I have always put the family first, neglecting myself.
4. take on a project together. Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!
We are working on a few projects together and it brings us closer together, giving us something positive to talk about.
5. Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle.
lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.
This is one thing that started to happen to us. Recently we have made it a point to stop what we are doing when the other one enters the house from work or just being away. We take a moment to hold each other and kiss each other.
6. engage on some mutual admiration. It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner.A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love.
I will do this one thing. It is something we haven't tried yet but it sounds like a great idea.
Thanks for the great discussion. At a time when divorce rates are so high we could all do a little more to improve our marriages.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
hello tammy!
it's nice that you have been descriptive eough to respond to my post.i like it!
well,i think you really had wonderful times with your partner and seems like you really are comfortable having each other around.that's a good thing couples should really have. i can see my parents with your story.they do talk about most things they have encountered within the day.and talk things which can open their views on each other.
i remember when i had a boyfriend back then,i always lliked the feeling of touch.while we are watching tv,or doing nothing...it's like a tingling feeling that i can't resist.
it's really hard to find time for yourself at times.specially when you know,you really put your family first before yourself.but we deserve to be happy on our own also.
i think you really did enjoyed yourself responding on this one.thanks for that!
you know what,i believe,if we decided to bond ourselves into marriage,we should really be happy and do anything to save our relationships with our partners.cause we deserved to be loved.we just have to respect one another...
it's nice that you have been descriptive eough to respond to my post.i like it!
well,i think you really had wonderful times with your partner and seems like you really are comfortable having each other around.that's a good thing couples should really have. i can see my parents with your story.they do talk about most things they have encountered within the day.and talk things which can open their views on each other.
i remember when i had a boyfriend back then,i always lliked the feeling of touch.while we are watching tv,or doing nothing...it's like a tingling feeling that i can't resist.
it's really hard to find time for yourself at times.specially when you know,you really put your family first before yourself.but we deserve to be happy on our own also.
i think you really did enjoyed yourself responding on this one.thanks for that!
you know what,i believe,if we decided to bond ourselves into marriage,we should really be happy and do anything to save our relationships with our partners.cause we deserved to be loved.we just have to respect one another...
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
I see this is indeed a good article and full of good and terrific advice for everyone who has a relationship going on with their lives nowadays. If anybody can follow what was written here I'm sure their relationship would last longer and maybe forever.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
hello reckon!
yeah,i think couples who would really take this steps seriously will end up loving their partners each and everyday of their lives.
though,i still believe,we ca always have our own ways to make lasting and happy relationships also. we don't have to follow such directions,we just have to build trust and understand each one of us. if we really loved each other,we'll do anything to make our relationship a happy one!
yeah,i think couples who would really take this steps seriously will end up loving their partners each and everyday of their lives.
though,i still believe,we ca always have our own ways to make lasting and happy relationships also. we don't have to follow such directions,we just have to build trust and understand each one of us. if we really loved each other,we'll do anything to make our relationship a happy one!
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
13 Oct 10
Wow, nice one to share. Too bad, my girlfriend didn't love me that much as I expect her to be. Now, I just have to make space for each other, so we separated. It is good exercise you talk about here. But I guess that she never understand it.
@stormcloud_2 (14)
•
13 Oct 10
I think this article is great. A lot of couples these days, get wrapped up in their own lives and own jobs and often times forget about the importance of keeping the relationship alive. I would say that this could a reason that some of my past relationships did not pan out. But I have learned from my experiences, and I would say my husband has as well. We always try to take the time and show each other how much we appreciate having them around. Remember, the little things count. And in my opinion, speak the loudest. I love it when my husband get's up and cooks dinner, or cleans the dishes for me, just because he wants too. Don't get it twisted, I do the same for him. Or sometimes, when he is away on work, we get online and play online games together like scrabble. I think these little Minot things help to keep the relationship fresh. And it also helps you to remember how important one another is. Thanks for the post Anna!!
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
hello stormcloud!
welcome to mylot! i hope you enjoy your stay here.thanks for liking my topic.
well,we can do small things that can help our relationship grow more.more bonding times and talking to each other helps us build healthy and happy relationships.
i loved playing games with loved ones.well.it's a fun way to spend time and have fun playing games with your partner as well. it's nice that you two are giving each other chance to rest sometimes.i can say,not all couples are like that.some couples are used to the fact that women do all the household chores.but your husband is quite good and it's nice to have someone to help with the household stuffs. i loved that! i hope i could find a man who'll be ready to serve me at times. i believe that couples really need to find time and do something good for the other.to lessen some work to do.
welcome to mylot! i hope you enjoy your stay here.thanks for liking my topic.
well,we can do small things that can help our relationship grow more.more bonding times and talking to each other helps us build healthy and happy relationships.
i loved playing games with loved ones.well.it's a fun way to spend time and have fun playing games with your partner as well. it's nice that you two are giving each other chance to rest sometimes.i can say,not all couples are like that.some couples are used to the fact that women do all the household chores.but your husband is quite good and it's nice to have someone to help with the household stuffs. i loved that! i hope i could find a man who'll be ready to serve me at times. i believe that couples really need to find time and do something good for the other.to lessen some work to do.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
13 Oct 10
those are great ways to make a relationship last^^ im sure that if all relations were like that there would be no break ups at all. everyone would be happy. we must always show we care and love our lover^^ and make projects together is great also^^ and sure physical attraction cant fade away^^ is important to keep passion in relationships^^ great great advises^^
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
yeah,it's all great advices.but still,two people involved would have to develop more guidelines which are not included in the article i've provided.in the long run,both of you would know what makes each one happy,so make a move to always stay happy together.
@JPQuisay_C (18)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
yeah its nice.. good advice. i also have a girlfriend, we also have a good relationships because there is a rules in our relationship. i guess it depends of us not the people around us how we will work this out as time pass by.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
19 Oct 10
yes,of course! it depends on the two of you how to work things out. if you really loved each other,no matter what other people say,you'll still hold on and see to it that you understand each other well.
only the two of you have the chance to work things out to make your relationship lasts. so,if you really loved each other,learn to understand each other.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
12 Oct 10
I loved reading this and i fully agree with the lot. All i need now is a partner to share these times with
@kendrathil (308)
• India
13 Oct 10
I summarize in one sentence -- be loyal, loving and caring to each other
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
thank you for liking the topic,my friend!
haha,yeah,it's nice to know that we can learn from each other here as well. and somehow,timing can be funny at times. i have also read some topics which i find timing to what i am thinking about.and it feels funny cause we can somehow be thinking same things at the same time.
yes,those tips can be quite common sense. but like you said,it's easier said than done.
it's like giving advice to friends when you know you,yourself can't apply those advices you gave when you badly need it.
haha,yeah,it's nice to know that we can learn from each other here as well. and somehow,timing can be funny at times. i have also read some topics which i find timing to what i am thinking about.and it feels funny cause we can somehow be thinking same things at the same time.
yes,those tips can be quite common sense. but like you said,it's easier said than done.
it's like giving advice to friends when you know you,yourself can't apply those advices you gave when you badly need it. @ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
For me add pray together to Jehovah God every day and bible study together.
@janron29 (266)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
I have been married for two years already. I prefer to stay at home for one year when I got pregnant until I gave birth. I want to spend time with my husband so I quit my job. I realized that it was not a wise decision. I become insecure and always demanding time for my husband. I easily got irritated when he did not reply my text or call me. We always have a fight. I decided to look for a job and land in an office position. I found myself again, a woman with confidence. We seldom have fights now, and he is now the one who complains if I am not able to reply his messages. I am busy with my job. I finally got my revenge on him.HAHAHA!!!
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
are you taking revenge to your husband?
i think it's not right to put up a fight when it comes to work stuffs.
well,yeah,we are all humans who can always have insecurities.but we should take time to our partners as well. are you taking revenge,or you just want your husband to experience what you have been through? i think it's both the same.
well,i do hope you'll be more sweeter cause when you are away from each other,the more your heart long to see each other. absence makes the heart grow fonder,right?
be sure to have quality time together,cause it helps the bondings last and grow stronger as well.^_^
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
12 Oct 10
the article it's good i guess..but if only things were so simple everybody would be happy. many couple have really big problems and I think you'll need to find your own solution instead of looking it into a book or a magazine article. these are only mabye some small tips, but not the solution to a problem
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
yes,of course! everyone of us have different problems facing each day in our lives.we just have to look on the brighter side to make things light.
and by using such tips,why not try it,there's no harm in trying,i guess...
well,yes,we can't just give in to the idea on what the article or books or magazines says,it's really up to us how we solve our problems. it's just guide,no one is forcing you to do so. but as i've said,there's nothing wrong in trying...
well,yes,we can't just give in to the idea on what the article or books or magazines says,it's really up to us how we solve our problems. it's just guide,no one is forcing you to do so. but as i've said,there's nothing wrong in trying...
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
that's a great advice,my friend!
but it still depends on how you trust your partner well.
and be faithful to them and stop flirting cause it is not a good idea.
if you really loved your partner,appreciate them more and learn to understand each others feelings.talking can also help out to prevent such misunderstandings...
but it still depends on how you trust your partner well.
and be faithful to them and stop flirting cause it is not a good idea.
if you really loved your partner,appreciate them more and learn to understand each others feelings.talking can also help out to prevent such misunderstandings...