I sometimes pour my frustrations to my child

hi there neeia_lyn. i am not a perfect mother too but seeking for advice hope i can help you with that. i know we have TONS of problems that we cannot even solve or find solutions but remember our children are looking after us. we should be like a model for them. Here is what I do every time I have problems, I may sound preachy but this is very effective and it calms me, just talk to Jesus and tell Him to give you more patience and guide you. I think that will really help if you will do that than doing something to your child. God is indeed a living God who listens and help if you will only allow Him to. because if you will not do anything to control your emotions, you'll never know your child might adopt that even if you say sorry.. damage has been done. (no offense, friend) just like to help. Only God can take away all our frustrations in life. you don't need religion, you just need to talk to Him like a friend. I hope this helps i really really hope.. you take good care of yourself and to your child. God bless you.. :)

You have to control your emotions my friend because there is a bad effect to your child when you pour your anger to her. As a consequence, she suffers from being distant to you and possibly fear you and become reluctant. When you are in a bad mood, take some time to breath and control your emotions. A child is a child, she is still innocent and cannot understand what you are going through. Be the one to adjust on her and not the other way around.

sometimes we all lose it some time or another, but now as you read more and more and keep reading things of help issues it does help for you are planting this in your mind and mind controls you and if you tell yourself each day I am in a good mood today and today is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoyce and be glad in it. and keep saying that in your mind and aloud if you want and you are convienceing yourself to do that. Believe me it helps. Take a deep breathe when you get up or anytime through out the day, shut your eyes , focus on good things, good thoughts, tell yourself I am peaceful, nice, kind, and in control of my temper for I will not get loud and I am happy..try it ..do not let this world beat you YOU BEAT IT. Out of the mouth spoken are words you control. You can do it. Take time for your family for love covers all things and throw the words I Love You to your child and anyone and you will see it take effect back to you. If ever you need a friend to talk to I am around somewhere.

You are posting this because you are feeling guilty which is good because you are looking to better yourself. I have just finished responding to another mother who post is similar to yours. Since I cannot cut and paste yet, hers is under children with the subject 'Spending time with kids', her username is vsraovsr. Look it up, you are not alone.

you have to control your temper your child has nothing to do with your stress so you dont have to let them become the shock absorber of your problems. it will have a not good effect for them they will tend to get distant with you because they could possibly feel that you were pushing them away. its good that you were explaining things to them once u calm down but the pain it brought to them wont change even you explains everything. learn to control your emotions instead of yelling at them try to forget your problem by talking nice things with them.

Hi Neelia, I can understand that but I hope you won't pour your frustration to you child anymore as it will give a bad effect to their growth. I remember my mum when we were all teen. When she gets frustrated and hurt by my dad before they separated, she always cried to us, she would cry like a baby in front of her all children. But we all understood because we could see everyday with our own eyes how bad my dad treating my mum. Try to calm down whenever you are frustrated and try to separate you child from that matter too. Avoid to involve her, because maybe at the end of the day she will sulk and hurt and won't talk to you.

Well, since you know it's not good and you feel regret after doing that to your child, it's good that you can control your temper and emotion. If you throw temper to your child, it's going to hurt her, not only temporarily but maybe affecting her in her life. Every time before you throw your temper, try to take a deep breath and think twice. Think for her good, and try to hold your temper. Hope you'll find a way to control your temper and emotion soon.

I know it's not the ideal thing to do and I should condemn you for doing it to an innocent child...but having frustrations in life one child must suffer through because of it. I understand how you feel and it's good you are aware of it..just be calmer next time and hope your love for your child will see you through.

Hi, It does happen to me sometimes, especially I am in very bad mood, I will not give my son a full attention and easily get inpatience when my son started to ask for this and that ,then I will shout at him to stop doing that. But when I saw his sad face after scolding by me with tears in his eyes, then I realized I am a bad mother. I should not treat him like this. And i will say sorry to him. It is kinda hard to control my emotion when things was freaking out there. But i know I have to change myself to be a good mother for my son. Be it what, my son is always my sunshine.

Oh, dear... I am a mother of four and I know how hard it is to be a mum. We have responsibilities over our children's emotional and intellectual quotients... What we do to them while they are still young will be instilled in them and will forever leave a mark in their hearts and young minds. I sometimes get frustrated, too. But as much as possible I don't want venting things out on my children.Especially if they are not doing anything wrong. Because no matter what we do or how sorry we are after venting our frustrations over them, there's no amount of anything that will compensate the pain and confusions we caused them. We have our own struggles but our kids depend on us so much, thus, we must try our best as parents to not to create doubts and insecurities in our children's hearts... I hope and pray that you'll learn to control your emotions... Start by doing the breathing exercises. Trust me, it helps...

I think that as a parent it is natural that something like this would happen from time to time. However, I also think that it is something that we should work hard to not do because when we blow up at our children it does absolutely no good for them whatsoever, instead it hurts them in ways that I'm not sure are able to be repaired. For that reason I think that as parents we need to always try to be cool toward our children.

We can get frustrated as parents. unfortunately the only outlet that we have at times is our children. They are burdened with more of our troubles than they should. Sometimes they can be a comfort in these times. At other times, they are just as confused as we are.

As a mother, you should be patient, and you shouldn't pour out your ugly side in front of your daughter. That might affect her future development. I will cool my down, and try my best to control my emotion, if that is not her fault. Nonetheless, it is my personal problem, I shouldn't take it out on my children too.

Sometimes as parents, it is easy to become frustrated,and stressed. Unfortunately sometimes we as parents take out or frustrations and stress on the innocent ones. I, myself am guilty of that sometimes as well. Sometimes I get aggravated and short tempered before I even realize I am doing it. But a few things that I found helped take away my stress, is first of all. Be conscious of what you are doing, when you start to feel stressed or frustrated walk away, take a little "me" time. Also another thing that I think helps A LOT to relive stress is to exercise. To some that may be sound silly, but it is a proven fact that it does relive stress. And it helps for you to be in a better mood. As long as you try each day to get better with the problem at hand, it will improve, and your child will understand one day as well. Good luck, and Happy Lotting!

Dear friend, I feel that child would have much of mental tolerance, moreover hope that child understands your emotions. Moreover I feel sympathetic for that child. Hope this attitude to that innocent hurt do not affect her character formation in future.

saying sorry should mean that you will not do it again. if you keep on doing these things to your child, you are somehow giving misinformation about asking forgiveness or saying sorry. as parents, we have to be consistent. also, it truly is not fair to vent your anger to the poor child. you can try controlling your anger. we can be angry and not sin. there are ways.

Well, it happened to me also a long time ago to let my bad moods to come upon my child. But I realized quickly what a bad thing I was doing. I succeeded to do this by noticing these consequences on myself. When I was a child my parents had a rather cool attitude in relation to me. They didn't beat me, but once my father had a nervous break out against me. He also had several breaks of this kind upon my mother. I could never forget them. Although I loved my parents, I also accused them of certain things. You have to remember that children never forget such things that have a great impact on their emotional state at that time and in the future.

I understand what you are describing here. Unfortunately life is so full of duties, chores and stress nowadays. Kids may often come in the way and we feel superior in a way and end up shouting at them to loosen up a bit. But this is something which needs ot be avoided as much as possible as one needs to keep in mind that: 1. the child has no fault 2. the shouting might impact the child badly 3. the negative panicky attitude we show to the child might lead him to eventually start to do the same wehn he grows up and faces stress. So try to avoid doing this. Try to take a deep breath and calm down. Try to use time more efficiently, try to make some time for yourself to relax.

Give me your address and phone number so I can report you the next time you emotionally abuse your daughter.

we are on the same boat... but after a while, I decide to have an anger management. I don't want people around me to suffer from my emotions and problems. I realized, my children will be affected by my frustrations and It reflects on their attitude too. Now, it works for me.. all you will need is patience. And prayers too.