Is Blackmailing Someone Reasonable To Keep Him/Her in the Relationship?
By florisatan78
@florisatan78 (23)
Philippines
October 12, 2010 7:50pm CST
What do you do when the person you once loved resorted to blackmailing you about your past and telling people about it because,he wants to keep the relationship? i am a victim of such abuse... every time we have problems he never fails to bring up what i did in the past that hurt him. I repented what I've done to him but it seems that he can't forget it and worst threaten to expose me. Our relationship hasn't change since then, we argue on almost everything.. he thinks that my plans in life in not good enough. MOst of the time, I give in to what he wants so as not to get into a discussion.
I love him.. but I can't stay like this for long.. please help me.
2 people like this
14 responses
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
13 Oct 10
Whatever he is blackmailing you with, expose it yourself. Make it known. If people are truly friends and family they will get over it and get on with life. If not they are not worth your time. It is time to get real and live without secrets.
Get it out in the open so you can walk out in the open and expose him as well as to his blackmailing you into staying. It is just so wrong on so many levels. He must be so insecure that he has to resort to this kind of treatment.
I hope your able to get your life back..
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Oct 10
He sounds extremely immature. I don't think he's very good for you, and you should probably leave him. If he tells everyone what you did.. oh well, just own up to it. Yes, you made a mistake.. you're human and we do make mistakes all the time. You learned from it and grew to be a better person because of it. In time others will forget those mistakes you made and move on. It's really not a big deal.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
the situation somewhat is related to my latest discussion.
anyway, i think you have to talk to him about what you observed after what had happened. tell him how you feel of his threats and that it is not doing any good to you and to the relationship.
if this will go on like this and nothing changes then you really have to consider about the whole thing - is it worth to stay?
@lynlypiochy (706)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
I don't think you could call that blackmailing, it's more like counting your errors to your face. If that's how he wants to do it, expose yourself to the people. Admit your mistakes so that he would not have any hold on you. But then again, I know it's easier said than done.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
That is such a sad relationship to be in. However, I am guilty of such emotional blackmail as well - but I am not threatening to 'expose' him, because I have nothing to expose in the first place and it's immature. I just do some crying etc.
Anyhow, I think the relationship isn't healthy anymore. I guess you should face the music and just let him expose whatever you did so that he won't have that as a shield anymore. Do not tolerate his abuse because you and him both know that the relationship won't work.
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
When love is too much and hurting you every and it makes your world darker. You better get out of that relationship once and for all. Or the same thing would consume you everyday of your life. Start something new with out him...you deserve better.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
13 Oct 10
Blackmailing someone for any reason never solves anything. If you feel that you need to blackmail someone into a relationship, you will fail. If you have to force the feeling, it is not real and the relationship will not survive.
@elmare0699 (163)
• South Africa
13 Oct 10
I agree with saphrina. Blackmailing is just another form of abuse. Tell your family about the situation and tell him that blackmailing you is unacceptable. Though we need to be able to compromise when we are in a relationship, it should never be to the extent where we loose our own identity and self worth, be true to yourself.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
13 Oct 10
What i am going to say now, won't impress you, sweetie.
It might even piss you off.
Get out of that relationship, right now.
Whatever it is you have done, tell your family about it yourself.
Before he gets that chance.
It will hurt and disappoint them more if they hear it from someone else.
You have no choice here.
Do it and get out.
That man will destroy you, eventually.
Luck.
TATA.
@Emma87 (6)
• China
13 Oct 10
i think you should need to quit your relationship right now.
the guy is not a good guy.a real man won't do such kinds of silly things.I think it's ridiculous.
a good relationship should be filled with faith,trust and respect,not threat and blackmailing.
you'll find a perfect guy.good luck.
@suetsee (26)
• Malaysia
13 Oct 10
Just leave him....if he wants to expose, let him be. You are not in a healthy relationship. You said it yourself..I can't stay like this for long......why not leave while you can? You love him but does he love you? It takes two sides to make things work. You also have to love yourself. Think you deserve better and better means no disrespect and such treatment from a man. Hope you take good care there.
@gifappel1 (8)
• South Africa
13 Oct 10
I think you should just get out. If he wants to expose you let him go ahead. At the end of the day you can always say he is just being crule because you left him. If you continue to stay with him you will loose your person (who you are) You will forget and will be stuck in a rut. It is not worth loosing yourself over a man. NEVER
