How do you handle arguments?
By jet2r0cks
@jet2r0cks (190)
Philippines
October 14, 2010 6:45am CST
Greetings everyone! I was wondering about how other people cope with arguments, so I decided to start this discussion ^_^
When I argue with someone, I finish it right away. I tell them my side and have them explain their side then wait until we come to an understanding and compromise. As much as possible I don't like prolonging the argument. I might wait for things to settle down but I want the settling down part to be quick as well. I want the argument to finish quickly because arguments bring negative feelings and I don't wanna have negative feelings for so long -_- My opinion is whether you wait or not, the bottom line is you still have an argument and you're getting negative feelings from it so why not resolve it as quickly as possible instead of prolonging it?
I also don't like it when the other person refuses to listen to me and completely shuts me down when I'm trying to explain my side. I've been in arguments wherein I'm trying to explain myself then suddenly the other person walks away, hangs up, signs out etc. He or she would explain that they walk away and hang up because they want to calm themselves down first, but I think it's still very disrespectful to leave without saying even a word when someone's trying to talk to you. Does anyone else think that's wrong?
So how do you cope with arguments? Do you want the arguments to be settled as soon as possible or do you wait for things to settle down?
3 people like this
18 responses
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
16 Oct 10
How do you handle a disagreement with a person who doesn't want to hear your side?
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
you let them be I guess ^_^; no use in trying to convince someone to listen to you when they don't want to. It's just a waste of energy _
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
15 Oct 10
I'm like u. I like things to be settled immediately, not letting it drag forever. I hate it when they say they needed time to calm down, yet that topic is already closed during that cooling period. With that, it's not closed at all because there isn't any compromising on my side. It's worst when my bf is angry with some actions of mine yet I don't know about it. That's very unfair to people like me right?
When I were to bring it up again, my bf would tell me past is past, don't bring it up again! I feel very frustrated and pissed off when I hear that from him. By not bringing it up, not closing the whole argument, its a form of escape for him because he refuses to learn or admit he's in the wrong leading to that very argument. In such situations, I won't force him and myself. I do what he does to let him have a taste of his actions.
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
This is exactly what goes on with me and my boyfriend when we argue XD When we fight, he hangs up saying he needs to cool off first. When he calls again it's like nothing happened, but you know something did and it ends up annoying both of us! We argue until we're exhausted then we move on forgetting what happened and without solving anything so when the same things happen again, we argue about it again -_- Seriously, talking about it would have fixed it.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
14 Oct 10
When i am having an argument with someone, i like to get what i have to say off my chest. Then i am done with it, I like to move on. sometimes the other person just can't let it go and the argument unfortunately continues.@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
That's what I do too. I'm really just trying to get things off my chest but sometimes, the other side thinks I'm just being spiteful by doing that _ Thank you for response!
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Sometimes we can't really avoid arguments. You just can't really agree at once on anybody's opinion. Before you can come up to a settlement of the issue you just have to voice-out your opinions. Anyway, I really don't like to be in arguments because I am very sensitive to whatever the person I am arguing with might say. I can't forget them easily that's why sometimes it took so long before I will be able to be in good terms again with the person.
@mychickencurry (317)
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
For me, it would depend on the scenario, there are arguments that really needs time to settle down others can be settled down after a few talks. I handle these 2 kinds of arguments carefully because I really hate being blamed or being accused for being guilty.
Be open, be calm and always be neutral, these are my 3 best tool in facing arguments.
;)
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Be open, be calm and neutral - I like that! Thank you for your response :)
@buddyrichards8 (1)
• United States
14 Oct 10
A good way to not have the argument escalate and get out of hand is to just agree with the person, personaly I have had many problems with my family and it's just best to go with it. All that matters is really what you think. You should't just leave when someones talking to you I agree with you. You don't want to speed things up or try and stretch things out. You yourself need to figuer out your medium.
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
I don't necessarily agree with this. What if you're really right and the other person is just being stubborn? I wouldn't want to pretend to agree to something I totally disagree with _
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
15 Oct 10
i assume everyone is as stubborn as I. And thefrore I say my piece and walk away. They have the choice to either Hear me or not. I rarely argue. because once you show me you will not listen to me, I stop talkig to you. What is the point?
@qinqin1202 (376)
• China
15 Oct 10
i never like arguing with other people, there are so mang pigheaded people around you, but they always think they are smart, they like pressing thier opinions on other people, sometimes, even they are wrong, they can also find some ridiculous reason to prove themselves.
arguement is just you find the way to explain yourself, nothing is absolutely right or wrong.
@cortney09 (1345)
• United States
15 Oct 10
I am one who usually likes to wait for things to settle down. But at other times I like to settle it then. I guess it all depends on what the argument is about and who the argument is with.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
14 Oct 10
I generally don't get into arguments, really. Maybe sometimes with my family, usually not so much with my friends, and I don't have a boyfriend (and here's the ONE good thing about it: I don't have to worry about 'spousal'-type fighting! lol..) I try to be the rational person when it comes to arguments. For example, when me and my sister fight - she can try to get VERY physical. Not necessarily with ME specifically (She knows she better not), but she has some anger management issues, for example throwing chairs and punching walls and being overly dramatic like that. We are pretty much opposites in that sense. I don't think I would ever lash out violently like that at someone - EVER - no matter who they are - just because we're arguing and the other side might be 'winning' the argument or something like that, and they're mad. Anyway, I don't like those kinds of arguments. I have a friend though who would I would ALWAYS get in arguments with, and it ended up in us "fighting" - I can never figure out if it was real fighting or fake play fighting, but I was trying like it was real! After fighting like that, we always ended up fine though. Haha. I know it probably sounds weird.. But yeah. I try to stay rational, hear all sides of the stories, and be mature about things.
@jet2r0cks (190)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
You and your friend are probably really close that you make up immediately afterwards :) Speaking of anger management, I've been easily angered lately -_- so I guess I need to work on that myself. Thank you very much for your response! :)
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
Same with me. I don't want to prolong any argument. If possible, I want it to be resolve in a peaceful manner. I onced into an argument with one of my office colleague. It's really inevitable to encounter people doesn't know how to respect the rights of other. This girl keep on explaining her side, but when it's my turn she attempt to back off, that's made me flared up but still able to calm myself. I called her name and when she looked back, I told her that I did respect her for I don't want to be disrespected. With that, she stopped and turned to me to let me talk as she listened. Good thing that we end it up with acceptance. It is always do good to stay calm, listen first before saying anything ,for if we let anger triumph over, it will just get worst.
@akiadranem (403)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
I usually just hit em with my ineffectual fists and that usually settles the argument. 
Nah, I try to be reasonable as much as I can. And if that doesn't work, I usually cry. I'm a real crybaby. 
Nah, I try to be reasonable as much as I can. And if that doesn't work, I usually cry. I'm a real crybaby. 
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
15 Oct 10
i hate arguments. I let them say there piece then i say mine then we either work it out or walk away.
@elleb0418 (1107)
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
Whenever arguments arises with someone,I always wanted him/her to listened on my side and after that I will listened also to his/her reason.That is the way I handled an arguments.Arguments for me should e fix immediately so that everything goes well.
@sjhaeki (795)
• Philippines
14 Oct 10
I try to end it as fast as possible. Of course, I have to wait till both sides have explained themselves, then i could think of a way to somehow pacify things. I don't want to have a very lengthy argument as much as possible.
good thing i don't get into many arguments in my life.
@ceasarette (145)
•
14 Oct 10
I don't like being in an argument, either. But sometimes, you just can't avoid it. When I do get in arguments, I like to say that I try to be as reasonable as I can. I give the other person a chance to speak and when she or he does, I listen. Afterwards, I tell them my side of the story. If we can, we'll compromise. Most importantly, I still make sure that that person and I are still okay afterwards.
@ceasarette (145)
•
14 Oct 10
I don't like being in an argument, either. But sometimes, you just can't avoid it. When I do get in arguments, I like to say that I try to be as reasonable as I can. I give the other person a chance to speak and when she or he does, I listen. Afterwards, I tell them my side of the story. If we can, we'll compromise. Most importantly, I still make sure that that person and I are still okay afterwards.
