How Far do you Go for Friends

I have lent money and never got it back. Somehow they think that thy do not have to repay me. Not good. I too am struggling as in a country of about 3 million people over half a million are unemployed and they have no benefits when they are not working. So they lose their home eventually and move into their parents' homes or friends. Really awful.I try to give food or buy a medication on their prescription like the med for high blood pressure. But now I have wondered off the discussion! However, my friends are beautiful and my life would have been lacking in joy if they were not around. My friends are there for me (even te two I kent money too) So the moral of the story is do what you can but do not lend money. It would have to be a gift as I don't think that you would get it back

Dora- I cannot give monies to friends because we are a single income family and are on a very limited and tight budget. I do however try to find resources for friends as well as be there for them to listen. It's about all I can do at this point in life. If I had extra monies though I would certainly help out if needed. Namaste-Anora

I am like you Dora...I will give my friends the shirt off my back if they needed it. However, like you I do have a family, and finances are tight. I do the best that I can without putting my family in jeopardy (financially speaking). I feel the best that I can do for a friend in need is to be there for them. I will help out as much as I possibly can. If I can't help out financially, I will find someone that can. There are a lot of resources out there and I will do my very best to find help for a friend.

Hello dora, Yes,i can do same thing like you do. Offer a roof and food when it is needed. But money is another thing. I can lend money for a small amount but not a big one enough to start for a business or capital. I am not rich besides,proving friendship is not all about money. It's how we loved and care for them and never leave them in times of troubles.

When it comes to friends, I am a helper if they need my help. Financially if I have but of course not to abuse them. Letting them stay in the house and to give them food. It's my nature and maybe I am kind when it comes to friends but always with limitations.

i would do all i can for my friends, just as they will for me, aslong as the respect is there and it isn't something that is illegal then we will always help eachother out in any way we can.

I agree with you 100%. I would do whatever I could to help a friend. I would not give money, since I do not have it. I think if I had money and it would not hurt me to give it to a friend who needed it I would.

Even i too have the same nature as you.I would give money to my friend but i would keep something safe for myself also.If my friend didn't have a house,with my parents consent i would give him shelter in my house.I would not give him cash as he would waste the money somewhere.I would give him clothes if he was poor and i would give him the basic food to survive for the day.

I know I am silly because I give money to help a friend in need. To me, helping my friend in trouble I can be very happy and contented.

i could lend but not on a frequent basis. there is a saying that friendship is ruined when money is involved.

I would do whatever I could to help a friend in need. i wouldn't sacrifice my life or commit a criminal act, but I would do what i could to help them. In return, I ould hope they would do the same thing for me.

Same here. I would also do anything for a friend, except money. I would even give a day working for a friend, and I wouldn't expect anything. Just this weekend, I helped a friend move. He wanted to save on movers so I offered to help. I think it was the hardest I've worked on a weekend! But he knows that he wouldn't hear a peep from me.

Maybe the best answer that I can give out is by helping them with all my efforts, and in my own way. Just like you, I'll offer to them what they need. In terms of finance/money problems, I will still give them especially if it's necessary. I'm a type of friend who does everything for my friends' happiness, especially my closest friend or what we call our own "best friend". But as what you've said, I'll not put my family into any risk, in return for my friend's happiness. I'd rather choose myself to suffer instead of them.

I have written a letter to help a friend before and it worked. It was to the Dean at my school to let her attend a party. I would offer my room, housing or food if they really needed it. My friends have really been there for me at times. They offered me a place to stay when I was on medical leave from school. They came and visited me in the hospital which meant a lot to me. Money is trickier because I'm a broke college student. I did move in with my boyfriend when he needed a roommate to help pay the rent even though I was staying somewhere else for 167 dollars cheaper a month. Then we broke up about a month later after I was hospitalized again. My mom thinks it was a bad idea to move in with him, but it was fun while it lasted. I could have paid more of the rent, but I felt like 500 was enough and that I had to save for my education. I then went to stay with my sister in New York and gave her 2500 dollars because I wanted to get on SSI (Social Security Supplemental Security Income) and I had too much money in the bank account. I don't think I'll ever see that money again because she's a broke actor/comedian who is really struggling with a lot of debt. I only get a measly 114 dollars from SSI a month so it's not really worth it. Plus I have to fly to New York to verify my bank account statements to make sure they are not too much. I think next time I just won't go because the flights are over 300 dollars.

You bring up a very good point. Even if your heart is to do everything possible to help a friend, when you have a family you may need to check some of that generous desire. For when one family member gives to others, they are to some extent impacting the other family members. I think there is a benefit to avoiding money. If you give food, roof or transportation to meet their defined need, then everyone wins. If you give your friend money, then you truly have to give it and cannot critique how they spend the money. They may not use it just like you would, and then you start to feel they wasted it. That will cause a strain on the friendship, and the joy of giving is lost. Just the same, am glad that you are a good friend; and so are your friends!

I would do anything a friend needed except loan them money. I would give them money or buy groceries if the friend needed them. I found out the hard way, more than once, that loaning money to a friend is a huge disaster. It ruined two friendships but looking back, don't think they were true friends. I was used and irritated as a result. These kinds of friends I can do without!

dorannwin as I am on a very small income as the retirement center takes all most all of my social security and Ssi checks each month for rent and food, such as that is, I have just one hundred twenty five dollars for my own use each month. so I cannot not give my friends money but I can suggest ways to help if they are in need of financial help and lend an ear or a shoulder to lean on or cry on.Why would I do this because I love my friends and want to do what I can to help. i am having low blood sugar so have to go.take care now.bye.

I could be a very, very good friend to real friends! But I could also be mean to those who are not true friends to me. Like you, I could give shelter, feed them, treat them as my family, I can do that. Money is not an issue for me, as long as I can afford it, and as long as I can see that a friend really needs it. If I can lend some, why not. I am very open to that. Just be honest to me... But never, betray me. I could not handle a betrayal from a friend. If that happens, it really and end to friendship, no matter what we may have gone through in the past.

Hahahah, you are just like me, I'd do anything for my friends, especially the ones Ive been with for a long time and I have trusted with my darkest secrets. I'd give them food, shelter, I'd even lend them my underwear if needed and then there's this money talk, hahaha, in my circle of friends, I could never lend them money or give them money because we, them, me tend to forget to pay up, hahaha, it's been like that for us, when it's money talk we aint friends, that's just how our friendship is.

I have lots of friends especially in my work because we have a big company. Sometimes I offer them things that I have and then let them borrow it. But I have my limitations considering that I have past experience that was really bad. I have close friends but they are only few of them. If they will ask for help then I will try my best to help them as much as i can but with limitations again.