Personal Responsibility

I get what your saying, personal accountability. It has vanished and I have no idea why. Everyone blames someone else for what they themselves have done. In the corporate world we call this "getting thrown under a bus," "Can you see the tire marks on my back?" How do we get it all back? We don't! Not unless we start teaching our kids about responsibility. Since parents don't hold their kids accountable any longer there is no way for adults to own up to what they do. So everyone just does the blame game or the why me? I have listened to people over the years (even here at mylot) complain as to why peole talk about them, why aren't they nice to me, what did I do wrong and so much more. People don't usually "do" anything to another without first having something catch their eye as to what the person was doing. Example a person complains about another's parenting skills, they saw something they didn't like and so they talk about it. The parent gets angry instead of being accountable for the action or inaction taken. I think a lot of it has to do with everyone always being to busy, with both parents working in 2 parent families and so many single parents the family unit doesn't exist the way it did so many years ago. I think this was the start of the preoblem. I feel I'm going off topic so I will end now.

Yes I do. You brought back a vivid memoery of when my first son went to a very prestigious High School. As it was in the city he boarded with an aunt and came home every weekend. He told me that the school practised corporal punishment and if he did something really wrong then he could be caned. (This no longer happens) He knew that I did not approve of corporal punishment and neither did his father. So he smugly asked me to go to the school and say that he was not to be caned if he did something wrong. I cooly repied that if this was the school's method of punishment then I suggest that he did not do anything wrong to earn this punishment. I did not believe in it but the school did and it was in their rules. Letting them take personal responsibiity is very important in bringing up chidren.

I hear ya! I know what you mean, and sometimes I just walk away, and let them know that THIS time it IS about them!

I have noticed this for a very long time. It makes me wonder how people get that way. I am almost 50 years of age. Over the years being around these kinds of people, it builds up. It makes me not want to be around people. I see how abusive co-workers are and how they gang up on another worker in front of customers or patients. It reminds me of some of what I have gone through over the years. After you take so much abuse from people like that or watch them abuse others, you just want to escape or find a way to help the other person. I could go on and on.

Pam- I know just what you are talking about! My husband and I have had this conversation on and off again for the last few months because our country seems rampant with it. I'm not say everyone does it but it does seem to be in the air more recently or something. I think we can best summarize it as victim mentality. It's always someone else, or as in the old Family Circle magazines the great "Nobody". I'm not sure when this change began to take place because I can remember as a kid if I did something wrong and a neighbor saw, the neighbor disciplined. No one took offense to that it was just how things were. Now a days it seems you have to be very careful what you say to the kids in the neighborhood. Just today I had a kid cut in front of my car as I was pulling into our parking lot and he flashed a gang sign at me. He could not have been more then seven! From a teacher perspective I always found it difficult to deal with parents who always believed their child was right. There was nothing I could do as a teacher as my hands were proverbial tied. What a great disservice to the child in the long run. Namaste-Anora

I feel the same way Ambie, things are so different now a days and I am still fairly young so I can only image what ones like my mother and grandmother must think. I like you was taught to respectful, responsible and honest to myself.. and I try to make sure that I teach that to my kids as well but there is almost a part of me that is not 100% sure that even if I instill and teach my kids all the good life lessons and goals that they will continue on that way because there are so many out there that dont and have the potential to influence mine...fingers crossed I guess LOL

This is so True. So many people continue to do things in their lives never wanting to take any actions or thought to what might happen, and then if you try to confront them on it, they explode or act like everything is no big deal. What ever happened to when given a job or responsibility doing your Best, acting your Best, and expecting the Best, and be Happy when it works out? Too many times nothing is really expected out of people so in turn you get nothing back as well. Makes me wonder how much worse it can get?

I totally get what you are saying and I have to say I totally agree!!! Today so many people don't take responsibility for their actions. I can't tell you how often I have seen this working in the media. I have had people chew me out because I wrote an article about their adult child going to jail and that adult child has children of their own and I humiliated their children. Wow, really, I humiliated the children? It couldn't have been the fact that mom tried to run over dad at the local bar that humiliated the child? And, yes, plenty of children get away with things these days because mom and dad just doesn't believe their child could do something wrong. I get so tired of hearing such things. If we would all own up to our mistakes and be held accountable for our actions this world would be a much better place to live. Can't tell this is a subject I am very passionate about, Can you????

What can I say, except "Oh, yeah" It was that way when my kids were in school. I had to laugh. My daughter forgot her cello music one day, and her friend said, "Your mom is at home, call her to bring it, so you do not get in trouble." My daughter told her that it was not my job, she forgot the music. She and my son both were that responsible. Most of their friends were not.

I'm sure it is the same there as here. Gone are the days when something was one's own fault. Nowadays when something goes wrong, the FIRST question one asks is "Who can I blame this on?" or "Who can I get to pay for this?" When a child is taken to task for something in school, the parent abuses the teacher. It must have been someone else's fault because her Johnny would NEVER do such a thing. There is an excuse for everything under the sun. How do we bring back the old ways of responsibility and accountability? I fear for the next generation!

Yep, I know someone who is the kind that, "telling me all of these things everyone has done to them. And they never consider their part in anything" and it drives me nuts..But I won't go there right now..lol

Oh nooooo! You've crossed the line! You are now officially 'this' age and not 'that' age. LOL Seriously though, I know what you are saying. My step-daughter can be in a room, by herself and break something - and still maintain that it isn't her fault. The most unsettling thing is thinking about these 'blameless' individuals driving cars or trucks.

Yes, I get what you're saying. I've noticed the lack of responsibility people have these days, too, and it's so sad! I don't have any children, myself, but I think it's because parents don't discipline their children like they should. There are so many parents who can't stand for other people to discipline their children. I feel like this is the reason why teachers and the principal can't use the paddle in schools any more. I also feel like this is why there's so much meanness in society now. As far as people wearing their feelings on their sleeve, I'm bad about that, I hate to say. I've always been overly sensitive. Daddy used to always say, "If you wear your feelings on your sleeve, you'll always get them hurt". Not only did he think I was too sensitive, he thought my mother and both of my sisters were, too, lol!

If I got into trouble at school I accepted the punishment. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents to get me out of it because I'd have been punished again at home! Some kids are being raised to think they are entitled to being treated like gods. It isn't new - there were kids like that thirty years ago when I was at school - but it is becoming more prevalent as those who were spoilt start having kids of their own. I hate seeing kids being over indulged. It makes me want to smack the parent around the head because they are raising little monsters.

Yes, I get what your saying and I know some who are like that..especially my in-laws and half my family...so I sincerely truly know what you mean..lol..it is like banging your head on concrete though..or making you want to..[Bang Head Here] type of thing..

Yes I get what you are saying These Days it is always someone elses Fault never their own The World is changing Sweet and we can't stop that, Parents are and can not be as strict any more like they used to be when we where little

gOOD MORNING aMBIE, I CERTAINLY HAVE known people like that & they drive me nuts. Everyone needs to take responsibility in their actions whether they are right or wrong. As u said they just need to suck it up. I hate it when people want to blame everyone elose besides themselves when they mess up. Noone is perfect & they need to quit acting like they are & acting like their kids are to.

Yes, we are responsible for our own actions and bear whatever consequences that comes with it. When we are handling things, we are responsible to see it through smoothly. Even we are not the direct personnels to take responsibility, but we still have a part to play by being in it. Responsibility is there, difference is the severity of it. If there's anyone who only sees as a mistake or fault made by others but never themselves, they are the ones with serious responsibility problems.

I understand what you're saying here, AmbiePam, and I agree. My dad always taught me to be responsible for my actions, even at an early age. I almost didn't graduate in high school because I refused to accept the punishment the teacher set for me because I offended her in some way. I explained to my dad that I did not do anything wrong, and he believed me. But he said that I still had to respect the teacher and the school, so I had to take responsibility for what I did. Because of that, I learned to be careful with my actions.