Would you fall inlove with a guy who is 9 years younger than you?
By Paper_Doll
@Paper_Doll (2373)
Philippines
October 14, 2010 9:04pm CST
Well, I do have a boyfriend and I have no plans of leaving him. But I am just curious if anyone of you had experience falling in love with a guy who is much younger than you. What happen is I met a guy who is 9 years younger than me, but although he is young, he said that he already has a 9 month old child and he and the mother of his baby are no longer living together for over a year now. He takes care of the baby and he said he is planning to go back to school to finish his studies. Just last night, he asked if I would consider marrying someone like him. I am not really sure though if he is serious about it but since I was not comfortable with his question, I didn't answer. But he repeated the question so I answered that I don't think there is something wrong with loving a younger guy more so in loving a guy who already has a child as long as he is not married. But honestly, I can't see myself going out with someone as young as him.
How about you girls? I know with it comes to guys, there is no issues with that but for girls, I think most of the times, girls in this kind of relationship are sometimes being judged.
3 people like this
18 responses
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
If the guy is really serious in having relationship with me and is mature enough, maybe I could fall in love with him. I had a relationship with someone 5 years younger than me. He is my first bf so I don't know how to handle our relationship that good although we don't have a big problems that time but I ended the relationship and it last for only 3 months. when it comes to a single father, it will take some time for me to decide if I can marry him or not, I commend his being responsible cause he takes care of his child but I want to start a family with just the two of us, I don't like my future husband to have a child from another woman whether its prior to our relationship.
1 person likes this
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
yes, it's too complicated but if i really love that guy, maybe we can arrange things.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Yes sis, that would be possible but maybe in a later time so he could have more time to think. Thanks again!
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Yes sis, as much as I wanted not to be judgmental, I am not really sure if I can marry a single father. I see the relationship as so complicated.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Ideally, it is awkward to go out or to be in a relationship with someone younger than I am, and 9-year gap is a big gap already. However, there are instances when we cannot choose the one we like because we just have that fondness towards someone that cannot be deprived. Like you said, there are people who will see it as an issue when an older woman go out with a younger man, however, as long as you are not hurting someone in the process of dating the younger guy and you are sure that both of you are really sincere with the intention of that relationship, then I guess nothing will go wrong. Besides, as cliche as it may sound, age doesn't matter in love. =)
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Yeah, I really felt that way. It would really make me uncomfortable walking in some public place holding a hand of a guy who is much younger than me. And you are so right, as long as we are not hurting anybody, there is nothing wrong with the relationship. Maybe it's just me. Thank you for your comments. I almost forgot about that saying you mentioned.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
15 Oct 10
Hi,
I would say NO for having a boyfriend who is
younger than me for 9 years.
But love is blind and some people do agree to have relationship with younger
man,but I am not into this kind of situation.
I don't think that man is mature enough for me and I feel bit
unsecured being with younger man.
Of course, I don't mean that you have to re-consider your relationship
with that guy.as long as both of you love each other and you think he is
the right man for you ,then it should be no problem,but of course, if you
were to married him, you have to accept his 9 month old child as your own child too.
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
I appreciate your inputs sis. I am really concerned about the child. As a single woman, I don't really have any experience on taking care of babies. And I see it as a very hard role/duty to fulfill. Am not saying this because the child isn't mine but just by thinking of it, I really could say that it is very difficult.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
15 Oct 10
Age does not matter as much as "mental" age. For example, in North America, a 22 year old dating a 16 year old would be inappropriate, because a 16 year old is in high school, and lives the life a child (usually) whereas the 22 year old is an adult. 6 years later, when they are 28 and 22, it would be no big deal because mentally they are in the same phase of life.
1 person likes this
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
15 Oct 10
i am a guy and would disagree with your comments of whenit comes to guys there are no issues. I actually prefer older women, i would rather have someone 9 years older than me than 9 years younger. Age is but a number, it must be good for a woman to know that she is seen as an attractive woman and is given attention from a guy that is much younger. You have met this guy and he opens up it seems and asks would you marry someone like him? I think he is being way too forward. Yes it can work, but if you know things about eachother then he knows you have a partner and should therefor not come out with comments like this. I would keep my distance. It seems as though he doesn't want to be alone and is looking for someone to play mum and wife.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
16 Oct 10
i would never feel uncomfortable at all, i would always show love, even if its a kiss, cuddle, holding hands, etc, i would do this in public because id be happy with the person im with. As i said, age is justt a number, it doesn't matter at all, it all depends on your feelings. I can see that many men would love to "show off" a younger woman, strange how your boyfriend doesn't. Most men would. I think the young guy though is just mixed up.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
Thanks for your comment but I was referring to those who fell in love with younger men or women. Do men also feel uncomfortable walking hand in hand with their much younger partners? Because my boyfriend is much older than me but since our relationship started, I never saw him being uncomfortable being with me in public places. I thought they are proud that their girlfriends are younger compare to others. So do you think he is not just telling me that he is uncomfortable with it? I think you are right, maybe this young guy isn't sure yet what he wants to do with his life but I do not really blame him for wanting to marry me (just kidding). Like what I've mentioned before, I am not really considering marrying this young guy because I am in a relationship and I really couldn't imagine myself going out with younger men. I just want to know if girls out there feel the same and most of them said they do but also mentioned that it has to be taken consideration that when it comes to love, age does not really matter.
@elkanwa (626)
• Malaysia
15 Oct 10
I thik if you love him you will happy in the end. Just think again do you really love that guy. If yes why dont you accept his ask to married. Is everybody in this world need to living with somebody who love each other and happyly ever after.?
@athinapie (1150)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
Hi there. Well, there is nothing wrong with dating a guy who is quite younger than you are. As for me, I do not see anything wrong with it but just like you, I do not see myself falling for somebody like that especially if he already has a baby. I would rather choose somebody who is single, has no added responsibility in his life and whose age is the same as mine or somebody older. Though age is not an indication of somebody's maturity, still, it is my personal choice to date somebody who is like me and not somebody so much younger than me. Though there is nothing wrong with that.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
You have a very good point there - age is not an indication of somebody's maturity. Than you.
Most of the comments I got here said that if they were to choose, they wouldn't want younger guys. Like you and the others including me, we repeatedly said that, although we prefer that older ones, there is really nothing wrong with falling in love with a younger guy. Would you know exactly what our reasons are?
@gossipzz (498)
• Canada
15 Oct 10
I would say first. It depends how old I am. If I older than 50. Then yeah. I would love a young man to keep me young.Men older are not very attractive. We can have allot of fun together. He can bring my youth back. Can't really judge him on his past. We all have past. I think I just need to get to know more about his situation first. If he is really serious about changing his life. Great. Happy lotting.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
Yes, you are right. We all have past and we shouldn't be judging people on this. Thanks for replying!
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
15 Oct 10
When it comes to love, i don't look for age. If i love someone, they can be older or even younger. If the love is real, age shouldn't be a deciding factor.@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
I see, but do you have preference? Or you set qualifications of what kind of man you like?
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
15 Oct 10
Well I am feeling jelaous from that guy, as i always wanted to have a reltionship with a mature woman like you.Who would and Could give me all the love i need.
Now for your quiry,well i think you should go In for a relationship for some time more ,Know him better and than make your final decesion.
havea Nice day
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
Hi jagjit273,
Thank you for your reply. I am surprised to know that you really like to have a relationship with a mature woman. One guy here also commented that he would also prefer older women than the young ones. Yes, every it is important that we give ourselves time to think and of course get to know the person better before making a decision.
@annawen86 (545)
• Indonesia
15 Oct 10
a boy that young. i guess, he still only boy. if he has grown up, he will be take care of his baby's mother, and never leave the girl who has just giving birth a few month before.
i think he is trying to looking for someone mature that could give him advice, and support. could be like his mom, his sister, or only physically reaction.
if he can leave his baby's mother, no doubt that he can leave you someday when you'll grow older and he's in the mature time.
maybe what isaid to you is so cruel. but it is the possibility of loving a younger boy who has left his baby's mother after few months giving bird for his child.
@annawen86 (545)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 10
well, then he has grown up to be a little bit mature :) i think he will have difficulty to raise his child. however, he will need your support to help him. just lets the time flow like water, dont even think about it now. why i said that woman grow older faster than man, because i am the same age like my boyfren, but his face is so handsome and cute, meanwhile i'm getting older than him because of thinking and thinking and thinking. that is a woman problem. get older faster than man T_T
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Thanks for your comment sis. But it is the mother of the baby who decided to give the baby to him after giving birth. I really do not know the whole story about it but I believe that they signed an agreement regarding the baby. But you are right, he still young and it is really hard for me to believe in what he said. Don't worry sis since I don't really have no plans of being in a relationship with him. Thanks again!
@kendrathil (308)
• India
15 Oct 10
In love, age is not a matter. It is the beauty of the heart that makes one love another. Love is something that comes deep from the heart and age has nothing to do with it.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
15 Oct 10
Yes you are right, but I am definitely bothered about the thought that at his young age, he has already experienced those kinds of situation - being in a serious relationship, separation and being a single father. I really don't think that he is now ready for more responsibilities.
@sheryllad (23)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
I can relate with this. Most of by boyfriends before, my husband included, are younger than me. Ironic because before my ideal boyfriend is someone who is older or even same age as mine. later in life I realized that not all things that we want will happen or come true, love being no exemption. When you fall in love, you would not mind about your age or your differences, what will be more important is that you stay together no matter what other people will say. Don't rush things. Instead think it through and assess your feelings. Be sure about your priorities then decide if you are up to committing yourself to him. Don't feel pressured just because the guy is persistent to hear your answer.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
I am so much inspired about your comment. Your story is one the proof that love knows no rules. What you said is very true. We can set qualifications of what kind of man we would like to marry but there isn't really assurance that we will end up marrying the same type of man. Because we can't choose who we are going to love. Thank you.
@mrclay90210 (77)
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
Why should I? I'm a man. I won't choose to love other guys! ahahahaahh! Just kidding! For me it is okay as long as you love each other. it doesn't matter if you are 30 years older as long as the magic of love exist, it won't be a problem. But in my age, I won't dare try to fall in love with a girl younger than me. That's pedophilia! wahahhah!
@gunjanpri (603)
• India
16 Oct 10
Do you think love recognize these parameters of age and complexion.. It is said to be blind. It can happen to anybody for anything or person, irrespective of age.
@anurag3786 (6267)
• India
15 Oct 10
Hey I am a guy and I was fall in love once with a girl who was 6 years younger than me. And I love her from last 4 years. But I never say her about my heart feelings. Because I was afraid that she can getting annoyed on me. So I always hide my feelings in my hearts. And now I think she not love me because once I tried to say her about my feelings but she not gives any positive response.
@tjen_anni (317)
• Indonesia
15 Oct 10
wow...i never imagine myself married to a young man. Usually women look older than their age after having a child. If i married to a younger man, wow...how do i look? People would think i was his big sister. And also considering, when we would have menopouse, he would still had his second puberty, and flirted to a young lady...
I never married to a young man..!!
