I wonder if he thinks I abandoned him?

Hi blue, I wouldn't worry about it. Most kids do understand why they were put up for adoption and don't hate their biological parents especially once they know the circumstances and if they have had a good upbringing. Sometimes, giving a child up for adoption is an act of love and from what you tell us it was for you. I would contact him if I were you and tell him what you told us here.

Stop It! You did the Right thing. You put his needs first. Deep In your heart you weren't going to be a good mother and you didn't want an abortion , right? So you did the Right thing , the selfless thing , you gave him up! Don't you Ever let yourself feel guilty about this decision. you said he Has contacted you? When you first talked did he seem resentful or was he happy to connect? If it is the former , then maybe , Just maybe he thinks you abandoned him. but if he was happy to talk to you , then hi doesn't.it has been a year?! Is he on facebook? If so, write him! Or call. Tell him the reason and how you Don't want him to think you just abandoned him! Your reasons are Valid! So find him and tell him

I think this would always be the hardest thing to deal with with anyone who has ever had to give up a child for Adoption. Doing it completely without anyone being in the picture I am sure is easier than for me when my Mom divorced my real Dad and then while he was alive only taking time to only meet me once, and that was when I was an Adult. I am sure as you get older this does become harder and which would be the Best? I would say maybe if he really is interested let him try and find you, so then you know it was of good intentions.

I worked for an adoption registry for a number of years. I spoke to many adoptees and birth mothers in that time. Most adoptees KNOW their mothers gave them up because it was best for the child, not necessarily because it was what they thought needed to, but because it was best to do. In fact, I saw cases where children were removed because of abuse, I even grew up knowing a family it happened to (I knew the children post-adoption) and later I looked at those records, and they were removed for a really good reason! So, most adoptees don't think they were abandoned, I wonder if this is a case of the child writing the story or some one reading things into a case... Not to say that there aren't a FEW who think that, mostly because the placement wasn't that good - and the adoptive parents probably shouldn't have been approved.

It is good that you are remembering the reasons. I don't know how old your son is now but if you tell him what you said to us..there is no doubt in my mind that he will understand and respect your choice. If not now..later. I was raised by my grandparents and when I was young..I didn't understand but now...I understand totally and am so thankful that they raised me. My mother has never come to me with apologies but that's ok. I am ok with her choice. I do wish we could have become closer but it really wasn't meant to be that way. I think that your son would like that too if you wanted it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Throw that book away.

Hi You did the right thing.I was adopted as a baby, I was brought up in a home with two loving parents who told me from the age of seven that I had been adopted,and that they told me how special my birth mother had been to give me to them they said they were the luckiest parents alive to have gotten me. I wanted for nothing ,but at the same time they taught me to care about others. They said anytime I wanted to try and find out more about my birth mother they would support and help me.When I was 18 I told them I wanted to find out about my birth family and they supported me all the way, I did meet my birth mother and other members of my birth family, she is a good woman who did what she thought was best for me, she married but had no more children,. We still keep in contact, my adoptive parents have met her they all get on well ,she is my birth mother and I thank her for giving birth to me and having the courage to allow such a wonderful couple that are my mum and dad to bring me up. So please don't keep guilt -tripping yourself, you don't say how long ago you gave your son up for adoption, but I am guessing if he is over 18, and you haven't heard from him ,he is probably just an ordinary young man happily getting on with his life. You need to stop beating yourself up it's no good for you. I don't know if this of any help but felt i should respond. jojo732

you did that bcs you loved and cared for him^^ im sure that he would like to meet you and know why you abandoned him. im sure that if you explain to him your reasons like you explained to us here he will understand^^ you did that not bcs didnt love him but bcs was the best for him. you were having problems and didnt want him to be affected by it and have a normal happy life^^ so you should try to contact him^^ and talk with him and see him. im sure his parents that addopted him wont mind that you see him and be close to him^^ you just want to be near your son what is a very normal thing^^ if your life is ok now and you feel you are able to see him do that^^

That's a hard one. I personally can not every see myself giving up on any of my children by giving them up for adoption. Yet I do understand why people do. A child is apart of you and will always be a part of you until the day you die. Most children that have been adopted and don't know who there parents are, go looking for them.