I will not complain about my children anymore....
By kristeena
@kristeena (358)
Philippines
October 16, 2010 12:49pm CST
This statement left a mark in my heart. It was during our "Responsible Parenthood Seminar" when our mentor shared this to us. She flashed a number of pictures of children who seemed to be weird. They have piercing all over their bodies, they look like about 12 to 18 years old. There were also pictures of children who have bruises and blood because of gang war. She let us close our eyes and meditate about it. Thinking about our children and the things that they pissed us off. We also offered prayer for those children. This seminar was very helpful to me having 4 children in the house. We can't control them sometimes, they rumbled, got so noisy and do whatever they want. I always remember this statement whenever I find myself starting to get impatient with my children. I got to hold onto my tongue to keep myself cool. But there were times that I really can't control it, whenever my fuse got blown up. At the end of the day, I tried to fix things with my children and their feelings towards me because of that incident. But I will not complain about them anymore...at least they are all studying very hard, they obey us although sometimes they complain and they have good companions and friends.
4 people like this
5 responses
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
16 Oct 10
I still would complain if my kids did anything wrong, but my boys were just kids when they were small and their brains had not matured yet. The same with my grandchildren. They are not at the age of understanding. The trouble is that some parents think that children should act like grown ups and when they do not, they fly off the handle or they neglect them. Then what happens in the picture, those who are neglected try to gain attention by piercing their bodies, and those whose parents show a lack of maturity and demand the children act like adults, wind up being abused and some are even murdered.
I would not do the meditation thing though. It sounds like the instructor is sort of controlling. Me, I would write about it and get everyone's attention to = well why were these children not given up for adoption to some nice people and allowed to remain in that horrible situation? I mean where were the social workers, why did not the teachers or the neighbors not go to the police and ask them to investigate the family?
1 person likes this
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
There are parents that keep on complaining with their children and always put negative thoughts about them. So, the way our children live depends on the way we, as parents lead them. You're right, those children were neglected who gain attention by being different, adorning themselves with those earrings and tattoos. I don't know them personally and what really happened to them. Maybe some of them still have families. The role of social workers are limited, they cannot act accordingly unless the family is proven unworthy. I hope the government gives additional attention on this matter.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
18 Oct 10
My father was like that. I never could do anything right and when my mother said that I had to learn things the hard way, that made me more insecure and unwilling to try anything new. In fact I feel one of the reason why I do not have a novel out in the workplace is because of what I was told when I was young.
It is not right to put down your children because the effects are far reaching. I also hope that neighbors do keep an eye on how people are treating their children and if the child shows up with bruises that are unexplained that they call human services.
I do know an in=law who has tattoos all over the top of her shoulder, but no one who is pierced everywhere. She and her husband do not have good jobs, just lower working class people and maybe that is why she does not have a good job because not many will hire someone who is tattooed all over. But I think they had a good family life.
Although her parents are rather the smothering type.
@potatobutt87 (348)
• United States
18 Oct 10
I'm an odd one when it comes to piercings and tattoos.... I've had piercings in odd places, and have quite a few tattoos... I have an AWESOME family life. My mother is my best friend, and i absolutly adore my dad. Me and my Boyfriend have a great (sometimes lol) relationship, and we have 2 beautiful girls. Growing up I was far from neglected. I try to think about my childhood and think about maybe why I have tattoos and piercings, but i cant think of anything really tramatic in my life that would cause me to rebel. I'm an art person, and I just love the way it looks. So dont ALWAYS think of that kind of stuff as a person reaching out for attention. some times its just some one reaching out to give people other perspectives.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160663)
• United States
17 Oct 10
It is important to remember that our kids, although they might make us want to pull our hair out, and frustrate us, could be so much worse. There are many kids who are really out of control and parents who are as well. I think it is good that you are praying for these children and appreciating your own children more.
1 person likes this
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
What we can offer to these children and their families are prayers. At some point those uncontrolled children must be controlled by higher authorities because they might give them a bigger problem in the future. The seminar gave us more reasons to appreciate and love our family.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
Well now, I may still complain about my children occasionally, but at the same time I realize how lucky I am with them. So I don't complain too much!
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
It's really hard to deal with growing kids.
I had 3 young adult kids and sometimes they fight over nonsense that makes me mad.
Oh,i can't stop complaining about it,and say things since they're not kids anymore.
But of course i will let them know that they should not act like that.
They must behave appropriate behavior for their ages.
Well,my kids and i had a good time always and i always try to be their friend not just a mother to them.
I am also thankful that,they're not a bad ones,or,they never ever involve in any troubles outside or in the community.
And i also give them credit foe being a good kid.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
29 Nov 10
The older your children get, the less control we seem to have over what they do and where they go. It is sad that some of our children have to go through such drastic acts such as piercing their bodies or joining gangs to fit in.
Anyone who has children that have not gotten involved in anything deviant are pretty darn lucky. So, I think it is okay to complain about your children's action or decisions, especially if they are the wrong ones.
However, we should not forget to praise them for good choices.
However, we should not forget to praise them for good choices.