Who is more disciplinarian, you or your partner?
By kristeena
@kristeena (358)
Philippines
October 16, 2010 1:27pm CST
My husband seems to be the spoiler with regards to our children, but they have high regard with him. Whenever he says no, or stop they obey him. But when it was me who told them to stop or no, don't do that.. they just continue, sometimes they hesitate on doing but in the end they will still continue for example they quarrel with each other, climb the double deck, jump high on the bed, or whenever I say stop playing and do your assignments...(sigh) Maybe my way of imposing discipline seems not so convincing, that's what I think. So I made a simple house rules and printed it on a piece of paper with large fonts. They have their schedule of activities from the moment they wake up to bedtime, their Do's and Don'ts. And who knows, it was a success! They followed it from day 1 until now. It became effective that I find them having a sense of responsibility now. Sometimes they forgot about it but as long as it was posted on our bedroom, they will remember the rules. Am I more disciplinarian? Maybe, how about you?
3 people like this
8 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
17 Oct 10
Here I am, but I find it strange you say you are and yet your children listen to your husband better. Because when one is too Lenient, like my husband, my children tent to not take him seriously and they continue doing wrong. With myself, though I am stricter, they also know I try to judge right and if they obey and tell em the truth, then I will take what action is best, where as my husband wants to let it go and not deal with it..
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
18 Oct 10
That could be, my husband tends to try to be the "fun guy" eliminating the authoritative part..
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
That's right, they listen and obey swiftly when my husband speaks. But you see, he's not that strict. It's just that they have that fear for him, maybe because of his voice and facial expression..^_^ I try to have moments with my children reminding them to be good as always.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
16 Oct 10
My husband was the disciplinarian and he would just look at the boys and they would obey, the same as my father, but my father had this razor strap and even though he never used it, all he would have to do is to look at it and us and we would obey. Now me, I am a natural softie, but I realized that it would not be right for me to say "oh let them have that," and my husband to say "they cannot." and so we decided to stick together.
I was the one more to give them a slap on the behind which did not work as it is embarrassing for a three year old boy to say "You hit me!" in the same manner as those bad guys say when a policeman shoots them as if I did something wrong.
Well that was just one slap. I only got one slap when I disobeyed the one time, and that was just following tradition.
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
I've also done that to my children, using my hands to slap them on their behind but that's when they kept on running and we're chasing all over the house. I never use my hands now, according to the teachings of the church, never use your hands to slap your children because they were the one that you are using to hug them. The children might got confused and will never understand that.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
18 Oct 10
I feel the hand is better then getting a stick. Now a stick or a ruler that hurts. My dad used a razor strap on me once, and although it is such a long time ago )I was 3 or 4 at the time) it was sore.
I do not think the children will get confused. I do not like the idea of using something harder then a hand to spank them. And I do think that putting them in a quiet room with no toys is more effective especially if they are like me when I was young and wanted to be part of the action.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
20 Oct 10
Hi,
I should say both me and my husband are pretty strict to our son. We
have a proper discipline guideline for him and he has to follow what
to do and what should not do.
Of course, we also pamper our son alot,but then we have to make it firm to
him. We have to differentiate what is time to play and what is time to be serious.
My son is well behaved so far,sometimes, he will get naughty ,but when
he did mistakes, he will show me sad face and feel scared,because he know
that he will get a scolding.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Oct 10
I'm the more lenient parent in our house. I know that because there are times that I let the kids walk all over me despite the fact that I really don't want them to. Those are the cases that I end up deflecting to my husband. When it comes to the kids doing things that they really shouldn't be doing, I will let him take care of the problem and do the grounding, etc. The reason that I'm like that is because of the fact that my mother was pretty easy on me when I was a child and I would like to be the same way for my children. I know that it isn't really right though and that is why I am trying to change it.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
17 Oct 10
My late husband was always the disciplinarian in my household. i was a soft touch compared to him. Now it is all up to me without him.@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
Oh, sorry for your husband sender. Hope your children are big enough to understand that they have to do good and be disciplined as always.
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
18 Oct 10
Hi, cop! That's so sweet for your girl...and so cool for your kids.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
18 Oct 10
As a mother, the primary responsibility of bringing up the kids is yours, so you have every right to be strict disciplinarian. In my case too, I’m the primary disciplinarian and my hubby spoils are son too much…even our son knows that daddy’s not to be taken seriously or if anything serious ever comes up, mummy should always be approached for the solution or decision.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
19 Oct 10
It is definitely me. I am the one that enforces time outs for bad behavior. i am most involved in her life, so it makes sense that right now I be the one who disciplines her. As she gets a bit older, and my husbands job settles down, he will be spending more time with her, I hope that he takes over some of it. There are times when she is put in time out that she just runs off, so I hold her in my lap for the time out and she throws her head back, kicks and tries to bite.
