in the meddle

Sounds like #1 is jealous of #2 to me. some people don't want but one friend at the time. I have never been like that, the more the merrier suits me. I would stay out of it to unless #1 brought it up & i'd just tell her i wanted to be friends w/both of them.

snowqueen age does not seem to stop people from acting a bit like jackasses. I had the same problem at our table a few weeks back. I am living for now in a retirement center In C alifornia My two tablemates are both friends with me, but all of a sudden Perla who sat beside me has taken a dislike to Sandra an older lady who sat across from Perla. Perala is Filippino which has never entered into it. she has been here in the US for years.But she has a habit of getting angry at someone and showing it with ugly grimaces or slamning down her walker.She is young looking but she is 60, Sandra is in her late 70s and I , in the middle , am 84. I sometimes felt like slamning their heads together as they are acting like five year olds. Sandra went to the activity director with a complaint against Perla. so they moved Perla to a different table. Now Sandra is acting like thebig cheese. She was upset at me because I told the president of us residents that I did not ever say I disliked Perla. I did not like the way she was acting but thats another story. Anywasy we took Perla b ack to our table. I get along fine with them both., but the two of themn declared war on each other with nasty looks. So now Yara the activity director moved our table over into the c enter of the room an put Perla at the next table over. Now Sandra is happy as a lark, and I miss Perla.but if I show the least attention to Perla then SAndra takes offense. I am like you I wish I knew what to do. I think you have a good point, three different women evidently are a crowd. why cannot they get along with e ach other as they get along with me?

I am not sure really what you should do. I do know though that not everybody is going to get along with everybody else. I still think there is no reason you shouldn't be able to be friendly with both of them. I also think that they are acting a bit childish when around each other.

wow this sounds like junior high. but as observation with my wife's friends some people just want you fro themselves, but on the other side you are the person who has a thinking of the more the merrier. this is very childish and i am sure this will be settled. just like you said you are matured enough to know it better, maybe this is only initial reaction. soon this will be settled in an adult way. cheers to you snow.

Your husband is right. Just to stay out to avoid any confrontation by 1 or 2. If you are too curious to develop a good friendship, better talk to both 1 and 2 at the same time about some common interests, and do not allow no.1 to run away just like that. If she tries to disappear somehow, talk to her openly in the absence of no.2 and try to form a congenial atmosphere around your house. But all this require a lot of passion and perseverance. You are right. You feel like you are back at grammar school, but watch out your spelling, it is C for crowd and not g.

I have heard this so many times amongst friends and truly it attributes to jealousy and need to get attention. You are right just like back in grammar school too. Best way to handle is perhaps next time you see both ladies separately I would causally say you know I really like you dearly as a friend and I want you to know that my relationship with the other one has no bearing or does not change the way I feel about you, just wanted you to know that I really do not like it when you two bicker. I would really hate to lose you as a friend as I feel we are good friendly neighbors but if you persist then I will have no choice. Then say the same to the other, they may re-think their actions at least while around you, that is if they value your neighborly friendship, but in reality these are grown ups and maybe they just will not as they should know better by now and still behave like children. Glad to see you posting today, hope all is well.

It sounds like school kid jealousy. I would continue to be friends with both neighbor. If neighbor 1 wants to act that way, she is the one loosing. Its very childish, we are allowed to have more then one friend.

I would try to stay out of it, if #1 wants to leave in a huff, well really, that's her problem isn't it?

Hi snow! I hate to say it, but I know exactly what you mean. I have a very similar situation right here where I live, but it's been going for alot longer. My across the street neighbor and I used to be close friends until she did something really bad to me (long story) and I stopped talking to her for a few years. The my next door neighbor and I got closer. The two of them never liked each other and when the three of us are together it's the same way. And the one that I wasn't talking to, (but am now, sort of) is usually sarcastic and then the other one walks away. And I'm the one in the middle too~ And we're also around the same ages!

For me, it would depend how close I am with them. If I am really close with them, I will ask what the problem is and make a descision based on that.. but if I'm not close to them, I'd just keep it cordial.

snow^^ i guess that your neighbor one is jealous of your relation with number 2. maybe she was happy to when she met you to have a good friend^^ and maybe now she is afraid that you be too close friends with your neighbor 2 and forget a bit about her. i know you wouldnt do that but maybe she feels that when your neighbor two joins your conversation. you should talk with your first friend and ask her what is wrong? if she says that she doesnt like your neighbor two say that no matter you are friends with your friend 2 you will always be friend of your friend 1 ahah ^^ that way she will feel secure of your friendship^^ and will feel better and maybe with time she can like your friend number 2 also^^