behavior of women courtship like her
depression
depression
love at first sight
love crush
why is she avioding me
Why is she avoiding me?
By Danzylop
@Danzylop (1120)
Philippines
October 21, 2010 9:59am CST
I need everyone's advice...
though men's opinions are welcome, I would deeply appreciate it if women can expound on it...
Here's what happened.
I got hired in a call center. We trained for one month and I found a girl who captured my attention. I kept it secret until I trusted some people who was then asked me if I feel something for that girl. I wanted to keep it secret but I thought I could trust them.
I never had a good conversation with her so I dont know how her personality is, the way she handles admirers or suitors. When we are on our way to the office, he would call my name and stick her fingers to my tummy. I dont know why and that made me ( I think so) think she is interested with me. Until such time that I heard that she never had a boyfriend, I started to admire her. For women nowadays, especially that she is a very good looking girl, its hard to resist guys around, right? She is not an ordinary girl..
As days go by, I feel more in love with her, hmnn, maybe not necessarily love, but my feelings seem get stronger each day that I see her. and she is doing the same thing, calling my name the moment she sees me and sticks her fingers to my tummy.
And I started to get uncomfortable about it, I cant sleep and I wanted to open up to someone. I thought I could trust this people and I told them about it. I thought I could trust them. I confessed everything before I quit the job, I wanted to talk to her but she started to back off. She avoids me. I texted her, called her but she didn't replied. I feel like a I'm a stalker but ofcourse I never did. And aside from texting her, I never did anything further stupidity.
Someone told me that those guys that I trusted disclosed everything to her. Since then, she started to avoid me. I dont know why. I feel so bad about it and I dont know what else should I do. should I chase her which I think is a stupid idea. I am not desperate to do that. I texted her and told her that its my new number, she replied asking me about the network of my SIM card and nothing else followed.
The next day, I texted her, she replied asking a stupid question: "who is this?"
I got offended like is she not interested or she is reluctant to communicate with me. I dont understand. Just a few hours ago, I found out that she was online on my FB chatbox.. I PMed her, but she didn't replied. WTF!!!!
Can anyone explain to me this phenomenon?
Please help me.. I need to understand this before I go crazy..
2 people like this
13 responses
@johan143 (164)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
I think you had misinterpreted what she was doing.I think the girl just want to be your friend and when she had known that you fell for her, she became afraid of you. I remember when i was a still a college student, i was so friendly, i smile with everyone, i talk with everyone, i was so jolly. But they always misinterpreted me and begun to tell their admiration and love for me AND I HATE IT. I WANT TO FINISH MY STUDY AND I DONT NEED A BOYFRIEND. so i became aloof and i became bad just not to attract them anymore,i became manhater and was even thought that i was a lesbian!! can you believe that???
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
Its not your fault. You can't blame yourself of that. but you could have handled it in a nice way. telling them what you really feel is not wrong right? what makes it wrong is that you go away with people. they are human beings that can understand how you feel, and i think they will respect you for that rather than you suddenly keeps yourself distant.
@johan143 (164)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
Yes, you're right!! I was still kind of immature then, you see i was just a teenager, a student.
Onething more, i just want to comment on your picture. Its kind of weird, are you one of them? it's kind of yuckky and funny! lol!!! it must be one of the reasons why the girl was avoiding you. lol!!
1 person likes this
@josiefruit (21)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
It looks like you are really in love with that girl. First, maybe she thought that you were just friends and touching your tummy is just nothing with her. Now, that she knows about your feelings for her she maybe felt like being betrayed. That's why she doesn't want to see you. Or else she has a boyfriend already and she doesn't want you to hope for nothing.
Actually, she is giving you a favor not to prolong the hurt that she may cause if she let you enter into her life. So for now, try to focus on improving yourself and just keep yourself busy to forget her. Anyways, if you are really for each other you'll see her around waiting for you and if that time comes. Please try not to hide your feelings anymore.
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
21 Oct 10
I would forget your feelings and understand that they are not 'real'. I think that Josiefruit is wrong. You are not in love ... just infatuated. When you do fall in love you will certainly know it! Just don't be misled by the various other feelings that the body and mind tempt us with.
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
Thank you very much ate josiefruit:
I might have misinterpreted than action of hers. I just find it(touching my tummy) extraordinary. She was doing it only to me. Well, it was my bad that I misunderstood it.
I find your advice satisfying and it really gave me peace of mind and I will surely do it..
But, I want to ask one more question, you told me not to hide my feelings anymore, does it mean that I should show it?
I was thinking that it could have been safer for me if I kept it secret. As in secret, nobody knows except me. I really deeply regret that I opened it up to those annoying people..
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
21 Oct 10
Some girls love teasing and all the signs are that she's not interested in boyfriends. She very likely has some serious personal hangups of her own which mean that all she really cares about is to make all and any men look a fool. She is out to hurt men, (especially rather wet-behind-the-ears and gullible ones) just as much as she can - possibly because she has herself been hurt by someone she can never forgive.
You think she is not 'ordinary' because your loins are controlling your brain (hey, that's natural!) and also because you can see she has 'secrets'. Fascinating ... but deadly! You just tried to pick up a snake that looked like a pretty bead necklace.
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
hello sir owlwings:
You've actually got the story. it could be possible that she is doing it to me to retaliate as a result of her past. She never had a boyfriend before but she actually had a suitor whom was turn down then after she found out that her father cheated her mom.. That could really be the case sir owlwings..
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
21 Oct 10
We can never know, perhaps, what sad story lies behind a person's behaviour. You are clearly a sensitive person and so are particularly vulnerable. I'm afraid that's something that sensitive people have to recognise and deal with. I would certainly advise you to leave this young lady alone and forget her as an unsuitable person, if you can!
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
Yes, I really am a very sensitive person. I can sense emotions behind what people say. I really consider this things very carefully.
I will have to think it over. Its hard to just forget everything about her, but I agree, your advise is an straight to the point advise which is certainly correct.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
22 Oct 10
Hi Danzylop,
She is sending some really mixed signals here. The way she touched you would make me think that she was interested. Maybe she got embarrassed because other people knew how you felt. You say that she has never had a boyfriend? Maybe she just gets scared? I really don't know. The fact that she was on your FB chatbox makes me think that she really would like to talk to you. Maybe she had gotten off just at the same time you replied or maybe she left it open and wasn't near her computer?? I would not chase her but I would maybe send her a message somehow and tell her straight out that you are interested in her and that if she is interested as well she can contact you. Then give her all your contact info and tell her that if you don't hear from her that you will know that she is not interested and you won't bother her again. Give her all your contact info and if you don't hear from her then you'll know that she wasn't all that interested but who knows? Maybe you'll hear back from her and your life will take a turn for the better!
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
hi sid =)
All of the comments that are here are possible but I am scared to take a step. I dont know. The situation is so uncertain and I dont want to move forward without assurance.
I want to text her as often as I could but I think I will just make her get irritated with that. I did delete her numbers in my phone (despite the fact that I've memorized her numbers) haha.. I am moving on.. I think its over. Any girl will not make a guy stupid like she did if she really liked me.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
2 Nov 10
danzy^^ is normal that you want to text her^^ me after what that guy did i sent him a message through facebook. if we could stay friends and forget all that happened. he didnt answer me. so i never cared about talk with him again. besides that fake girl is his gf so. for me he means nothing now^^ also im happy that he didnt like me^^ i deserve better than a guy like that^^ my bf is caring and loves me^^ im sure that later on you will also feel happy that this girl didnt like you^^ you deserve better than a girl that doesnt care for your feelings. she knows she is hurting you by ignoring you and she does that. if you want do like i did. i sent him a last message and he didnt answer. you do the same. text her for the last time. if she doesnt answer your sms forget her^^ that really helped me to forget even being friends with him.
@kerrina (104)
• Canada
21 Oct 10
That sucks man.. Yeah sorry to say, but she's totally avoiding you just because people told her that you liked her or whatever you know ? But she could have done that for her own personal reasons like such as not getting introuble at work and stuff. Many people these days don't allow married couples and or relationships within the workforce simply because they may not concentrate or work properly. But then again, you could possibly not be her type. Everyone has their own preferences when it comes to chosing the right person to fall for. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship ? I dont know, maybe she already has one for all i know. Just take it easy on her and don't make it seem like you're desperate for her. Cuz it seems to me that you were because no matter how much you tried to talk to her she just won't answers your responses. I would suggest, waiting or finding another girl. There's no such thing as the perfect girl. but you gotta be open to other options out there. I'm with a boyfriend that i've never thought i'd ever be with lol. it's crazy how love strikes you but please, take my advise. hang in there (Y)
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
We are in different cities now, But that time that when we are together in one dormitory, we talked (little chats) and she would even wanted to play guitar with me and she even asked me to teach her play a song that I PMed her on FB that she really liked.
Aside from texting her or PMing her on FB, I never tried more stupid moves. I am so hesitant to try. I dont want to look pitiful in the end of this. I'd rather leave this issue hanging rather than look desperate =) thanks kerrina.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
2 Nov 10
danzy^^ but if she showed interest for you i dont know why suddenly she stopped. maybe that was bcs your work partners told her that you liked her and maybe she didnt want to look bad to them. maybe for them it was a joke if she liked you too. who knows some people are really stupid. maybe she was ashamed to show other people that she liked you too. and if that is the case you really should ignore her :( bcs is strange that she just stopped to be close to you when your friend told her you liked her right? you really should let that girl go. if she liked you she would had say to your friends that is ok. maybe she just step aside also bcs maybe she didnt want everyone at work know about you and her. maybe she doesnt feel comfortable with that. but if she liked you she could talk with you and tell you that you could date but for you dont tell many people for you both dont have problems at work. so nothing justifies that now she ignores you. if she loved you she couldnt stand to lose you. dont care more for her ok?^^
@dk0245 (8)
• Singapore
22 Oct 10
Hey bro, I totally have experienced what you're going through now, the need for answers.
My advice to you is to be patient. Time-out. The more you try to salvage the situation, the more you're gonna screw it up. Let her be for the time-being, allow her to do some thinking. I can tell that she's very shocked/surprised when she found out about your confession. Let her settle down her thoughts and think it through before giving you an answer, and she will continue to avoid you until she has an answer to you.
1 person likes this
@dk0245 (8)
• Singapore
22 Oct 10
Glad to hear that. However, waiting too long is not healthy either, if you think that you're ready, and she's cool and all, you may try to approach her and just talk about it, just find out what were her thoughts, if you guys really can't be together, at least remained as friends and eliminate the awkwardness between each other. All the best danzylop. :)
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
hmmmmmm well if its bothering u so much why not go talk to her? or sent her a mail tell her how you feel and if she doesnt reply then she is not worth it at all but atleast she knows how you feel. there is nothing like being straight forward. :)
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
22 Apr 11
Well, your problem is very simple. Just try to be friendly with that girl first before reacting something like that...
If she don't wan't to talk to you in FB. No problem about it. Don't think something more if she'd not talk to you in a social network.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
Hello danzy,
One Lesson about working in a Call center, is that you never trust anyone. most specially regarding you're feelings. well, if she puts it up that way, i suggest you let her go and move one with you're life.
We all get old some day. you have a precious life to live as a call center agent. you don't have to put up with women like that. maybe she can inspire you but if she acts this way, there's no point of moving further nor chase her as you suggest it.
You are blessed that you got into the Call Center, something that i had obviously failed even after taking two english training sessions. you got to let it go. she's not the person who's gonna take a drain on you.
Besides, am sure there are better women out there.
BUT BE DECEIVED BY LOOKS ALONE
1 person likes this
@Libyantiger (79)
• Canada
26 Nov 10
Well if she is touching your tummy constantly than one possibility is that she is not looking for love because as soon as she heard you like she started to avoid either that she is looking for something else or she's confused about what she wants really thats my opinion
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
21 Oct 10
it seems is happening to you what happened with me and a friend i had. we became best friends and i fell for him. he even said one day that if he knew i liked him things could be different but that now he had a gf so we couldnt be together. but he said if he would date someone would be me if wasnt with her. so when they broke up i thought maybe he would look at me. but he started to meet other girls and started to be more and more far from me. he started to ignore me. and i did what you did to that girl. i went to where was trying to talk with him and he ignored me. and one day a girl that knew i loved him said that he loved me and he said was true and in end was all a joke. he knew he hurt me so then he said was
all her idea. anyway he started to fall for that fake girl and she humiliated me again later on saying a big lie about me and my best friend doubted about my word bcs loved her. i was so sad and thought couldnt love other guy but i was wrong. we met online and all this happened online but i really liked him. anyway i cried much and really thought i couldnt love other guy but then i saw he didnt worth it. i loved him, i was sweet and caring and he rather ignore me and fall for a girl that is fake. so was his choice. so you please dont humiliate yourself for
that girl. she is doing to you what that guy did to me. i also thought he could like me but then he ignored me and that girl is doing the same to you. so let her. you deserve better than her^^ a girl that likes you really^^ and if she regrets what she is doing she will say sorry on her own^^ now cheer up ok? and dont say nothing more to her. she was the one making a big mistake by ignoring you^^ never forget that^^ she loses not you^^ 
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
I guess I really have to move on. I should preserve my self. I wanted to chase her but it is a humiliation on my part. She ignored me and that is a very bold answer to the questions. I am so radical like I am looking at a donut like there is no hole in it.
thank you so much sweetloveforeve, hmmnn,, you did pacify my sadness....
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
2 Nov 10
im happy that i could help you^^ im sorry to see that there are people that act like like us and then suddenly ignore us. they know they are hurting us but seems they dont care. at least they dont change their attitude. so is bcs they have better things to think about than say sorry. i told you to dont be after her bcs you will be hurt. if she likes you she will say something. you already showed her you liked her so if she likes you too she will show it. if not forget her^^ there are so many girls in the world^^ im sure one will love you^^ besides we deserve the best right? ahah so dont waste time with a loser girl that played with your feelings. you can find better
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
I'm a girl and I kind of did what she did to you too. So my answer would be based solely on my own experience and it's up to you whether you should give weight to it or not.
When I was in high school I was very close to boys and some of them were even my best friends. I was very close to them, but when one of them showed romantic interest towards me, I started to back off and avoided him I had the same experience in college where I avoided a man I was close to because he was interested to have me as a girlfriend.
So what am I trying to say my friend? She's just not into you. She's never interested at all and she's staying away because she now feels uncomfortable poking her fingers in your tummy because you might misunderstood it.
Again, this is just my own personal opinion based on the facts that I've read from you. If you think I'm wrong the best way to find out the truth is to get the answer from her. Approach her and be direct to the point. Ask her immediately why she's avoiding you. I'm pretty sure you'll get the answer that you need.
Good day!
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
You cannot trust any one with such information. specially with what you feel. i know it must have hurt but let it go. am sure there are other people out there.
besides, raw beauty doesn't last for long. every one will eventually get old so don't waste you're time on that b*tch
make more friends and eventually you will find some one better a friend or gf in the future.@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
i got your point ate toni =)
i just got carried away by my desires that is why I misunderstood her(like your guys did before). But I just have one MAJOR MAJOR regret. I should have not shared it to anybody. I could have made what we have grow. but its OK. Its useless.. all i can do now is move on...
@mhy_pie03 (68)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
So sorry to hear that. As a lady myself, we really are unpredictable and it's a hard guessing game. The key is if you're really persistent to know the reason behind then go talk to her so just to free your anxiety. You would not really know not unless you ask right? If she declines to meet you in person then write a letter expressing your thoughts and feelings with sincerity. I bet this could give you more chances of obtaining atleast an answer from her. Lesson is, don't get carried away by simple gestures until you have personally confirmed it yourself. Also choose the right person to share your secrets. God bless you!
1 person likes this
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
hello mhy_pie03!
girls are indeed very unpredictable. Assumptions are impossible. I am no longer interested with whatever her reasons for avoiding me. I got the answer and that is enough for me. Sometimes, I also have to consider self-preservation. I cant afford to drive my self harder into that situation.
There must be something wrong on her part which is beyond my responsibility. I have regrets and this will help me make better decisions and behavior in the future.
Thanks for your time and opinion, I really really appreciate it... =)
1 person likes this
