do you only help those people who can also help you in return?

As for me, I do not help someone whom I think because he/she can help me in return. Blessings come even from strangers, it does not necessarily from the person you have helped. What is the essence of being helpful and generous when you expect something in return, right? That is a selfish desire if you expect something in return. It is like you will be indebted to someone who have helped you and vice versa.

Hi, Let's be less emotional about it. This is the inherent nature of human beings. Human beings don't do anything without a definite purpose. Even when we are having conversations with each other we pursue some set of goals, otherwise there will be no meaning in having a conversation in the first place. In our daily lives, we often avoid a few persons just because we think they can potentially harm us. How many of us actively tries to guide those people in having a better life with a more humane approach? We just avoid, and that's what we should do, even when it may sound discriminating. When two people with different personalities come together as a friend, they do it on definite motives. The world is lot more indifferent than you probably think it is. In truth, it doesn't even revolve without concrete motives. Now let's focus to the present issue. Some of your friends will see long term potential in a relationship and will try to hold on to it. Some others, however, are a bit myopic in vision. They only have short term goals to reach. They don't care much about a long term goal. These people are often very much confused about their purpose of life. They pursue only the immediate purpose and they do it in such a prosaic and abrupt manner that often makes it uncomfortable being with them. Even when we give alms we do it with definite purpose though not a material one. Whom do we call selfish? If you think carefully, you'll find that selfish people are those who can't think beyond their short term goals. Now, can you blame them for their intellectual poverty? Pity them instead, because they haven't yet found out the very essence of life. This makes them prone to negative emotions like frustration, depression, lack of self esteem etc. It's better if you forget all about it right now. Just forget that you've ever met such a person and then go on pursuing your own purpose in life. Thanks. God bless you.

I will always do what I can to help whomever I can. It is not always reciprocal, and that's OK. I enjoy being of service and as helpful as I am able to be. I like the maxim of "do your reasonable service as unto God", meaning, to me, what is right and good and kind and of good use. Unconditional love is God's way, and seeks not its own. God is our example and He blesses that in us.

He probably means it in a business sense. You said so yourself he helped you without expecting things from you in return. Maybe you could talk to him and know for yourself if he really changed his attitude.

Yup but we have to control ourself from getting angry .........

People should not do that. Helping people and waiting fr something in return. That is just wrong and selfish not to mention opportunistic. Helping comes from the heart and should not wait for anything in return.

I have received help from those who did not expect the same in return.I am also doing the same,policy.What goes around comes around.

Of course not everyone in the world can break even with me for what I do for them, but as long as I am not taken advantage of, I'm happy to help whoever I am.

I try to help everyone that needs it. Also, I tend to beleive that karma will come back to haunt me if I don't.

That's too bad to think that he's been influenced by those new friends. The worst thing is,he changes from good to bad. Not too bad,but instead of being more helpful becoz he has friends who are in the position to give more help,but,he forgot his old self. He should be the one to influenced them with his good deeds. Maybe he is just blinded by the power around him. Try to talk to him and remind me him of good works before. Make him understand that,he is not the same person you used to know. Maybe he doesn't even noticed his changes and think that he's still the same person he is. Who knows,you can still bring him back to his old self.

I can talk about kinds gestures i did before which are all just spontaneous. Times wherein I never really thought if my effort will be appreciated or reciprocated. When all i felt was just help this person in any way i can. And i have learned in my life.Our good deeds done for others are not usually appreciated/reciprocated by the people we helped. Instead, other people returns the favor to us, in times where we just so surprised and so amazed on how someone can be so kind to us. I have experience a lot of these, when I just need someone to help me, and here comes somebody out of the blue giving me a hand! (^_^)

I do help people in many ways, but not with the hope they will help me in return,i never give money to beggers, i prefer to give food rather.. but i have strong faith on god, i am sure when i need help, some one in some form will help me.. Thanks for this nice discussion Best of luck. Professor

There are people who just help for the sake of something in return. And this is very disappointing. But then there are still people out there willing to help without asking in return. I am a poor guy and I'd wrote an article about my family being poor, a guy send me 150 US dollar without asking something in return.

No i don't i help them not because they will help me in return but i help them because i saw them needs help. Helping other is my passion and in that kind i can show my feeling to them. :)

It sounds like your friend has chosen to take on the opinions and attitudes of these people he's met. As a friend it is up to you to give him your opinion on the matter so that he may have the chance to think hard and long about his thinking. Try telling him that in life there are two ladders, one we go up and one we go down. On the way up to the high life we will pass people we know who may be in need, we have the option to help or ignore but remember it should be taken into consideration that at some point later we will most certainly be coming down the ladder and pass the same people who may be going up - will we need help? Will they have the time to stop and lend a hand? Maybe it will depend on the reception they got when we were climbing the ladder. If I was your friends friend, I would most certainly take the time to give him my opinion and tell him how he is making me feel, after all, if he is a genuine friend he won't mind listening to what you have to say. When you go up don't diss on your friends that you will be meeting later on the way down.

I certainly wouldn't let him help me with anything in the future if that were to happen to me. He is now wanting something in return and that isn't helping you anymore. I am surprised you didn't think anything of taking help financially from someone without thinking that you might owe him something in return one day but for him to actually put it in words would now scare me a little. I am the type of person that will help someone as much as I can if they need me but not with money. When it comes to money people usually have a different motive and it can ruin a friendship. But otherwise I will help a person as much as possible. I have a sister that is quite the opposite of me. She won't help anyone with anything unless it somehow benefits her. And she thinks she is doing it sneaky as in she thinks people don't know that she has a motive if she helps you. It has to benefit her somehow or she won't help you. I don't like this side of my sister but she is my sister and so I have to accept her for who she is...it's called unconditional love... Cheers my friend and happy mylotting, Chris

From what you tell, he has been all you want, and a lot more, of what you would have expected from a friend for a long time. I´d say, instead of being dissapointed, feel blessed that you had him supporting you all that time. Maybe the time has come for you to help him, maybe even by telling him what he was for you and thanking him for that. Perhaps he dis not realise what he did for you or what he s doing now. And do try to think about how to return the hand he gave you with such generosity. Give generosity in return.

I have heard many people say help others as we may need theirs in future. Human beings are losing their humanity and helping others has become a bargain deal nowadays. I help people when i really can and do not expect anything in return. Due to this people take me for granted and also make fun of me. But i just don't care for that. I also have one more policy - Remember the help done by others to you and forget the ones you do to them. Happy mylotting.

Well, this is a very sad truth about people today. I'm not saying friends because those who search for favors in returns of their help cannot be called friends. Helping others is a matter of giving unconditionally. If you give help, love, friendship and so on from all your heart, you will receive back without expecting or asking them. This is the secret of friendship: to give for the pleasure of giving.

Yes, those things do happen. People change for so many reasons.. to cope up with his environment, to fulfill his dreams, to achieve something... there are so many. And I know a lot a people who have changed because of money. But like what many says, you can't buy real friends.