Do you torture yourself with woulda shoulda coulda?

I would of married my 2nd hubby first then I would have had him longer than the 42 years he was with me. Not to much that I would change life goes on

Hey stranger, it sure is nice seeing you. Haven't seen you in ages. Hope things are well with you. As to your discussion, I suppose there are some things I wish I hadn't done. Mostly little things, the bigs things I am mostly glad I did. If I would have done things differently important people in my life wouldn't be here, I couldn't wish them gone.

I used to think like that but then I realized that what's done is done...re-thinking it or wishing it was different wouldn't change it besides no matter how bad something is, there is almost always something to be thankful for or some lesson learned. [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]

Woulda coulda shoulda is a rather unsatisfying game to play. How far back does one go to "right" things? Would going to the junior high directly behind my home, even though I didn't like their school color (green) instead of being bussed to another one with an "enrichment" program a couple miles away really have made any difference in my life? Probably not, as my family moved to another town 60-70 miles away over the Christmas holidays anyway.

I am constantly torturing myself with such questions to myself. Woulda, shoulda, coulda are always haunting me. i always think i was able to do something else or something better than I did. i know it won't change anything, but those voices still echo their thoughts.

It's a thought, but I'd rather not go there. Or I'll end up with regret making my life miserable. I admit that there are loads of changes in my life and my life before as a teen is so much better than my life right now, well, I can do what I want when I want and where I want it! in short Freedom is the only issue for me. BUt when this kind of thoughts entered my mind, I just say to myself that I am very, very lucky that my life turns out to be this way, And I think about what I have that others don't and thank god for giving those things to me. Yes, i can just be at home all the time while my friends are enjoying beach travel and night lifes, but I enjoy taking care of my naughty little son who is the most important person to me. Yes, It could be very depressing when having a row with my husband but at least I know deep inside that he loves me and I'm not alone anymore. When those things happens to you, try to shove it off with positive thoughts. you'll learn to deal with it one step at a time.

Raydene to be honest, I do not think I would change anything even though I went through 21 Years of a bad Marriage, but I have to look at the good side, I would not have my Son and Daughter who are the World to me and I would not be what I am today a strong Person, who will not back down any more

I aknowledge the thought just long enough to learn my lesson, then I decide that what's done is done, and get over it. If it's just a choice, where neither choice would have any consequence, I just go with my instinct, and get over it.

since I am a therapist by training I try not too, only new issues like a personal once I am experiencing right now, for a while until I can process it. once I have processed it it is over and done with and I don\t go back.

hi raydene. I guess its human nature to woulda , coulda , and shoulda but it does not help in anyway. I try therefore to just do the best I can and to hell with those terms.oh raydene where have you been.you were here when I started and were talking about your ex if I remember right/.Work being your life gets too sad and no it is painful. the thing we all must do is not depend on our mates to make us happy all day, this we have to do for ourselves.So I have learned not to torture myself like that. I have always been my own worst enemy. so decided to just do the best I could and if others did not like that, tough sh@t.

No not really. I mean, sure I learn from my past mistakes. But that is really the extent of what I think about this. At times there might be a thought or two that crosses my head and I wonder what might have been. Still it will never have been and maybe it is not meant to be. Then I try and move onto the rest of my life. Learn from the past, but do not obsess over it, so I can build a better future. That has gotten me through many tough storms.

sometimes i think i do, but i try not to mind it that much. i learned not to stress or torture myself anymore.

Sometimes. But I try to avoid it, because I have learned that no good can come of it. But it is hard not to sometimes! I am getting better at it though, I think! (or hope?)

sometimes. but just thinking about it isnt going to change anything. anytime that i think i made the wrong choices, i just take longer to make the next ones to make sure i made a good choice. but then again, sometimes taking longer doesnt always mean im going to make a good one the next go round. and even though we make choices that are good and bad, god has a reason for everything and it doent matter if you like ot or not, god intended on it to be that way

Whether I have made the correct choice or not, so far I do not look back. I feel it is better to move forward once one has make a decision. Occasionally, I do ponder whether I did make the correct decision, hesitate a lit bit about moving forward. At times, I tell myself to make lemonade out of lemons. I know I can make it. I know I can do it. I know I know. It is not really painful but stressful. May God bless you :)