We don't need to impress our real friends
By jonnifc
@jonnifc (1017)
Philippines
October 25, 2010 12:08pm CST
I have a small group of friends in college. We are tight till now. We don't feel that we have to impress each other with accomplishments in life, money or appearance. We can be who we are around each other.
But one time, we had a mini-reunion. We met 2 other friends from college. One used to be our professor. He's quite accomplished so he treated us to dinner at this really, really, really posh restuarant. Over dinner, our conversations would sometimes be about expensive things they have bought, travelling the world, prominent people they know. I didn't have anything to say because I've never bought a $500 dollar Ferragamo shoe (which they say was already cheap considering it's brand), nor been to Europe or North America (I only travelled within Asia), or have mingled with diplomats. I'm just a regular and practical girl. So I spoke only when I knew what I will be talking about and said a few opinions here and there. Suddenly, I felt lost in the conversations. I even felt more out of place in that restaurant.
At home, I felt mixed emotions. I was proud that I didn't become a pretentious wanna be. I remained true to myself. But I was also feeling a little insecure about how my life has turned out compared to theirs. I wonder why on that one night we were trying to impress each other? Maybe it's the Lobster Cream Soup, Wagyu Beef steak, Chillean Seabass and Evian water. Or maybe it's our ex-professor. But I used to make fun of him before, so I still did that night. LOL! But we're not normally like that.
Have you ever felt that way? That you're forced to put your life against others and feel that you can't compare? Reunions usually do that. What do you do then?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Oct 10
We shouldn't feel the need to impress our real friends. Real friends shouldn't expect this from us. They shouldn't need to be impressed to be a real friend to us.
@sweetmary86 (822)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
most times i felt like i dont measure up to the standards of people around me. im a person who doesnt like bragging infront of many people. i prefer to be humble about my achievements and profile. but when i say something it would have to be appropriate and accurate. i dont like to exaggerate
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
We're the same. I don't like bragging. I don't like other people bragging to me and so i won't brag to other people about myself. It shows insecurity and pride. 2 of the things I hate most. But I found that I should not measure myself against other people. I always measure myself against my own standards. Since "we are our worst critics", I feel that I get criticized enough by my own self that I don't need to put myself up against others. That's too much for me. But, like you, I don't want to be "all talk and no substance". It's a good trait because it shows maturity and self-control.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
25 Oct 10
It is quite normal for old friends to do this to impress and to show off all their accomplishments. No need to ever feel bad, instead feel glad and proud that the person is doing well.
As I have a few friends like this but the bottom line later they are not truly happy however are way too proud to say so, and have told me privately later. So we just enjoy the evening and be grateful for all the great food and well wish them luck and happiness as well.
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
You're right! Instead of feeling bad about how we don't compare to others' accomplishments, we should be happy for them. We all live different lives. And equally different is what makes each of us happy. As long as we are happy with our own lives, then that's all that matters.
@cyrri_ako (461)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
definitely not..that's why they are called our friends. they should accept us for what we are and what we have, and what we usually do. though it would spice things up if we know that our friends would be happy with what we can do..
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
Right! Real friends know the real us, without all the trimmings like clothes, accomplishments and money. Sometimes, though, we would like to feel that they are happy for us or proud of us that's why we share our accomplishments with them. And as true friends, we should make them feel better about themselves. Instead of being selfish and focusing at ourselves thinking why we are not as successful.
@Pinkie2011 (64)
• United States
25 Oct 10
I feel the same way sometimes.Like my life i have is not good enough for me or for anyone.When you are around people that seem to think money is everything then you tend to think the same thing and you may feel inadequate.I have often felt that way around classmates.That is why i dropped out of public school and went to home school.Because i didnt feel good enough compared to them.I was always shy in school so when kids started to get really cool clothes and shoes and everything i felt really inadequate about my appearance so i went to home school.Not the only reason though.
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
It's easy to find ourselves comparing what our lives have become to others. I guess we just have to realize that what's important is that we are happy with how our lives have turned out. If in case we aren't, then we might find ourselves inadequate and end up shying away from others. That's not a good place to be in.
