What to do about the Santa Claus Problem?

When you go to a play or watch a movie, do you ever think that you are being lied to? That these people are only actors and the story isn't real? Of course not! When you read the old favourite stories like Cinderella or Goldilocks and the Three Bears, do you believe they are real (or would you expect any child to think they are real)? No! There should be a place for fantasy and make-believe in any child's life (I really ought to say, in any adult's life, too). When we are little we accept such stories in the same way that we accept reality but gradually, as we grow older, we learn to know the difference between myth, make-believe and reality and we KNOW that the non-reality things are different from lies. People who see the 'Sants myth' as somehow lying to children have, sometimes, themselves lost that magical dawn light of childhood where talking bears might exist and princesses might sleep for 100 years and a great, jovial (and somewhat scary) old man dressed in red might fly through the sky on Christmas Eve. Children aren't harmed by a belief in (and fear of) Santa because they already live in a world where many inexplicable things happen and love the frisson of knowing that something isn't really real but can still really exist in their imaginations. Children are not like some adults where a lie is 'black' and truth is 'white' there are many grays - and colours - in between. In fact, if we are honest, the world is NOT black and white, even for those who are so fixated on 'good' and 'evil' that they cannot allow children to 'make-believe' because it is not the 'truth'. It seems to me that such people are inclined to remove much of the fun out of their own (and other people's) lives.

When i talk about santa claus to children, i just imagine telling them a fairy tale. It's not actually a bad thing. For instance, what would you say if a kid asked you where the babies come from? Your tendency here is to lie provided that the kid insisted you on giving him a specific answer.

Tell the truth and at the same time ask the kids, to consider this as fun and enjoy.

I'm sorry for just answering this question now. I have had issues with this as well. I've told mine that Santa exists and we explain where the idea of Santa Clause got started. Last year I started putting things in Layaway at Kmart. I told her last year that momma had to start paying Santa Clause for all the presents she gets from him because Santa had to start paying people to make them with the way things are now. It takes so much to make toys now, especially all the electronics that he needed people who knew how to make things like that. Well, then I said that Santa decided on certain toys that parents could pay a payment on to certain stores to do layaway so that way they don't have to get it out all at once. This year we did that as well. We also explained the meaning behind the presents and why we put the star lighted up on the tree as well. This year I was able to ask for help from one of the local churches. Those pieces were the ones i put from Santa and the others from Kmart were from me and my mom. It's easy to get carried away with the giving. My mom always said that you should be doing the giving all year long instead of waiting until Thanksgiving to start doing it. It's hard to see the meaning behind the gifts if they don't appreciate the story behind the meaning of giving gifts. Teaching them where it got started and why we celebrate Christmas should be something you should look at in the future. Even at 1, my little girl wouldn't even go up to Santa, we had to get a background of santa for her santa pictures. Let them know santa lives in our heart and who santa was and who santa still is to many. We believed in Santa when we were young and even though we're adults now we still believe in the magic behind Santa otherwise we wouldn't be passing the tradition down to our children.

I applaud you for having such high moral principles in this decadent and destructive world. They are principles worth upholding. The principles of telling the truth and wanting the truth to be told is higher than mankind. I do understand that not everyone values the truth as some of us do. But then we are the product of a lie (if you believe the Adam and Eve story, we have resulted from Adam and Eve believing Satan's lie). Could they not put on the gift, from Grandpa and Grandma who love you very much. That's what I do when I give gifts to my grandchildren. They are told the truth as to from whom the gift is coming. The world is so full of lies and liars that it makes me sick. Today, we credit "mother nature" or evolution instead of God with the gifts He showers upon us. I know we are all entitled to our own opinion and I'm just stating mine for any that might not agree.

I thought Santa was real until i was high school. It broke my heart that it was my father all along. I got angry with him later on. I turned out to be a rebel. But santa wasn't just the reason. During that time, my relationship with dad wasn't great. So he stopped giving gifts. Right now, I still feel sad about it.

I tell mine that santa comes to kmart and picks toys out and momma pays santa every couple of weeks. This is to where they think santa is there, but understand that you have to pay for things.

Well if i was in your shoes I would just tell her the truth and would tell her that you adore and love her so much that you buy the gifts for her and that Santa Claus isnt real just a fairytale like the stories people read to their kids at night. The truth is the best route.

In a case like this, this is a hard one but really a no brainer. I would let the traditional "Santa Clause" role play with them until they are old enough. Believe me they are going to find out when they mature. Little Billy or little Sue at the school they attend will say "Oh you haven't had the talk yet huh" and then the Santa thing will all disappear over time. Don't be a Scroog and tell them about it at a young age. Let them have fun in believing for the moment. Believe me it has some advantages for controlling your kids at "The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year".