What happened to compromise???

princessem firstly I see you are fairly new to myLot so a very warm welcome to you. My boyfriend and I moved in together almost 5 years now and the first thing I told him was he could not try and change me as I would not do for him as well. However there are a great many things as a living together couple we must learn to compromise as otherwise there will not be a unified arrangement as one will out weigh the other. So my suggestion to you, since you two are fairly new at living together is that you do not nip things in the bud so early on in the living together relationship deal. As the longer it goes on the harder it will get, so if I may say please speak to him and remind him of the reasons why you both chose to live together. Waiting will only cause deeper resentment and well then the living together arrangement will turn into something unbelievable. So find the time right away and speak to him as later may be too late.

To be completely happy in a relationship, I do agree that there has to be compromise, but I also believe that you should never have to change or try to change the other person. There is a difference. It was definately better for your health to stop smoking, and you may have used wnting to make him happy as your reason, but deep down, you would not have quit if you didn't really want to. What I am saying here is that a person, more often than not, will only change things about themselves if they really want to make that change. Most people will not change for the sake of another. Maybe, your boyfriend is afraid that if he admits that he didn't hold up his end of the bargain, you may leave him. Maybe he is afraid of losing face in front of you. Whatever the case may be, if you really want this relationshipp to work, you have to accept him as he is, and he has to know that you will. THat doesn't mean that you should condone him doing anything that puts his or your life in danger, it just means that he won't change until and unless he is ready to. You have to decide if you really want to be with him, habits and all. If you feel that you cannot live with him doing those things that he agreed to stop doing, than you might as well leave now.

That sure is hard. i think it will be very difficult for you to have him admit to the things you found out... of course he will deny it. I believe though that it is rather hard to change a person... if he is unwilling and is not thinking of changing for the sake of you, or other things. Everything still is best when well communicated... when you talk to him, be calm and do not make him feel you are imposing. I am sure he will see your points when you tell him of the things you previously talked about... just let him know you are aware of what he is/ and is not doing. Things should change soon enough when you let him know how you truly feel about the whole situation(given) that he will listen to you and understand where you are coming from.

well living together isn't all joy and happiness. its a work in progress if you decide to stay with him. if you can't even talk about your problems with him because he refuses to discuss it i really don't see how your going to get anywhere. i mean both sides at least need to have an open discussion.

You think your relationship is perfect,when you are moved in together,you found the situation is not the same with before,why? get well with other is not easy,each people has his own disposition.So i think the best way is talk to him,say your opinion to him and listen to him.

what i will want you to do is to beg him and give him the reasons why he should stop those habits and confuse him by tell him the implication of continue in that that type of situation.

Couples can have a bad habit of forgetting about compromise in their relationships. We can get so eager for what we want, we can forget about anyone else's needs. compromise has to be a part of the relationship for it to endure.

Moving together was totally exciting. You will get to know more each other. But it's sad to hear that each of you have to make some changes to yourselves just to fit in. Isn't that you should have accepted each other the way you are? It's okay to change for the better. But changing yourself to make your partner happy... have you ever thought if this changes will keep you happy too or you'll only feel happy because your partner is happy with it. Don't keep him admit things that he wouldn't, that will keep you hurt too. Don't force each other to change what can't really be change. Discuss with him why he can't do the changes you wanted him to do.

hi princessem, to love someone is to accept him not to change him...that is the right definition for me.. even i, find hard to practice the definition...girls tend to be more sensitive at all times especially from their beloved mates.. in your case, you found out that your mate is hiding something from you and you even tried to talked to him about your observtions and he kept on denying it...why not confront him in a more civil manner...for him not to turn his back from you..do have evidences forunable him to deny his acts...have discussion about it for you to understand his side..and then elaborateyour feelin regarding the matter... commucation is the best medium to test your stand with each other... godbless