Standards for friendship.

I like this response a lot. It is a great example of the kind of answer I was looking for. Thank you for commenting =)

Those are all very sweet sentiments, but the purpose of this discussion was to explore the nature of friendship. Criteria is the tool we use to distinguish between these relationships. Most people are an amalgamation of good and bad, like you say, and it really is worth it to take both sides of a friend, for better or for worse. However, there are some people who are truly wastes of space. Cruel and selfish beings that live from host to host, offering nothing in return but cruelty and deception. Some people go their entire lives without having to make this distinction, but for many, it is a necessary judgement. I admire the value you place on looking beyond a person's actions, but it is actually dangerous to ignore their actions completely. Many people can "talk the talk", but far less "walk the walk".

Yes! You get me! hahahaha I wish I hadn't already designated a "best response"...well, I am granting this comment a personal, honorary "best response" award! lol Thanks for sharing =)

Is it really so awful to have standards? It is a consideration that has served me well in the past...

discriminatory and judgmental yes! We may even loose opportunities for friendship along the way, but it is a price worthy of the safety it ensures. There is nothing inherently wrong with prejudice and discrimination. It is only the radicals like racists and sexists, that take those observations too far, that are wrong or bad. If you see a stranger you perceive as threatening, do you not PRE JUDGE that person? Do you not use discrimination to decide whether a person is a threat? Let's say for the sake of argument, an unkempt man covered in blood; wearing a mask that is made entirely out of, with what can only be, human hides; wielding an off brand chainsaw, is walking towards you with a very violent and purposeful stride in the late hours. Would you want to approach that person? What if they were yelling "Help!"? would that make it better? Of course not! It's funny how so many people, upon reading this discussion topic, assume I am talking about financial status, or popularity, or some other trivial characteristic like that. Do you think this may be a "Freudian Slip" of some kind, on their (your) part? I honestly mean no offense. =)

So you go by gut feelings? Internalize it? That's okay, at least you are not completely denying having standards for friendship =) I am certain most people do, but perhaps they go by feelings, like yourself, rather than choosing friends carefully and consciously, and simply fail to realize that even "feeling out" a friendship involves some kind of standard setting. One could quite reasonably expect people they call friends to, at the very least, be capable of brining them some form of happiness. If they do not make you feel any particular way, then they are acquaintances. If all they bring you is pain or sadness, then they are an enemy or a danger. Thank you for your perspective =)

Those are very reasonable standards. I think we can all expect at least as much from any friend.

I agree, how can you ever trust someone who has betrayed you? The damage is often times irreparable.

Of course, that's the point. You must be careful who you associate with for many reasons. There are many people that YOU, yes you, don't want to be friends with, believe me. I used to think like you, there was once enough room in my heart for the entire world. Then LIFE happened to me. I met many people in a short time that I thought needed my help. Needless to say I was SORELY mistaken. Use your imagination, is there no circumstance where SOME kind of standard is not only reasonable but a wise investment on your safety?