Relationship at Thirteen. Will you agree?

Oh my daughter had a boyfriend at age 13 and I did not handle it well for a long time. In my thinking, 13 is too young to be in such a relationship. My daughter has always been very mature for her age and up until this point, all her guy friends were just that...friends. This one was different and I didn't like it. Putting my foot down did not work so I came to compromise with them. They could see each other with restrictions and rules. She is now 16 almost 17 and amazingly still with the same guy. In a way, I wish she had dated others but then again, this kid she is seeing is a really good kid. In your situation it is different. She is 13 and asking for permission for her boyfriend to spend the night? You are not her parent. I'd say no. How old is this kid and how do his parents feel about this? My daughters boyfriends parents were involved from the start. There was no way he could of spent the night at my house...they kept close tabs on him.

Good thing you did not approved it. Having a bf at 13 is too young! And having a sleep over?! Who knows what can happen! They are young and curious, you know anything can happen especially when your parents are not around! Tell her he can visit, but a sleep over is a no no!

Well, I don't agree in that early stage of relationship. Because this might cause early pregnancy or early exposure of intimacy. Parents should impose a strong opposition to that points. Because it will bring the child to eternal pain when the child early flirt to someone else. That stage should be focus on some important thing to prevent her to crush someone which I think not suitable for her age

Well you can tell her straight that, the guy cant sleep with her now, and i think your parents too are not going to allow this, you are her sister, you have every right to tell her this, it is for her good.. Thank you so much for sharing. HAPPY DIWALI Professor. . Cheers God bless you.

hey girl she is your sister and it is not right to let her sleep with his boyfriends because she is very young.thirteen years old my gosh when i was only thirteen i dont know anything about boyfriend because my focus is on my studies. You are responsible for her in that matter because your parents are not around and for sure your parents will not alow her also and you should know that sweetheart.

Hi, ellyse2003. I think you are right that you won't allow your sister to let her bf sleep for the night. She needs guidance about having a relationship.Just tell her in a calm way what are the right ways to do it. The bf can come over the house but not to stay there for the night. Yes, you need to tell your parents about it. :)

You did right and do whatever you think is right to protect your sister. In the absence of your parents as an older sister you are oblige to do it. She is very young and need your guidance so nothing was wrong and continue protecting your child into early relationship with her boyfriend. Who knows that because of curiosity they tried to do things that is not suited for their age. You are in the right corner!

There's really no good place to start talking to your sister, so just take the plunge!! ;-) Sure she's young. You can tell that she knows something's wrong with the relationship because she doesn't want your parents to know. It's because they might not approve of it, they'll probably tell her that she can't see her boyfriend because he's too old. And he's 16 for goodness sake. I was doing things at 16 and I'm a girl! Tell your sister that No, he can't sleep over because if your parents find out they're definitely going to kill you both. Plus, it will make the guy look bad. If she really likes this guy, she should start building his relationship up with your parents and not go about wrecking his image by letting him sleep over without their knowledge. Tell her you understand what's going on. Have you met the guy? If not, ask her to tell you about him. How far are they into their relationship? Let her open up. It's a nice experience to have a boyfriend. Yes I think it's too young an age, but learning to express your feelings is a good thing too. Having a boyfriend is okay as long as she knows exactly why she wants to have a boyfriend. Does she like him because he's nice to her? Is he an okay guy to be around with? But if it's because she wants to try things, then that's an indicator that she's lacking guidance somewhere and you should try mending that. I'm an only child and I have the most conservative parents anyone has ever heard of. They keep telling me I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend, that kissing will get me pregnant and all sorts of things. I ended up hiding things from them just so I can find out that what they're saying is true or not. Encourage her to introduce her boyfriend to your parents so that she can open up little by little. At the same time, take some time to talk to your parents and help her build up her boyfriend to them if he really is worth it. I'm sure your sister wants to have someone to share this with, so be that person so you can also keep watch over her without having to make her feel bad.

well its quite alarming......kids now a days tend to have bf/gf's at a very young age..well, my is that you talk to her in a casual ways telling her the risks, or yo may give her some limitations that she should follow .. i know you are very concern at your sister....an honest amd sincere talk would be much needed in this situation

hello ellyse2003! a 13 year old is still a child, thus your sister is still a child whether she likes it or not. Being a child as she is, she should not be having boyfriends at this stage. Instead, she should focus on being a child, enjoy every moment it for its just passing and never to return again. you are right in not permitting her to have her boyfriend sleep over at your house. You can begin advising her by asking her about what she feels having a boyfriend and whether she thinks she's doing a good thing by having one at such age. Talk to her as if you are talking to your friend, narration-like style, without judgment and condemnation, and you'll soon feel her opening up. However, if at the opening speech you immediately rush to telling her how wrong she is, she won't definitely open up to you. Just talk to her without pre-judgment and from there on, you know where to go. listen to her, she maybe has her own reasons and although you might not understand it, she still believes in it and that would put you in a very bad light should you force her to see otherwise. tell her stories liker hers, as if you are just telling a rumor about someone like her age who also dated very early and the effects it caused on the young girls' life. It is always effective when you talk to them about stories they can relate to.

Having a bf at 13, maybe could be tolerated. But to have him come over and sleep for the night? NOOOOO!!! Your parents will kill you, I tell ya. You, especially for allowing your baby sister to invite him over. Glad to hear you did not allow it. Whether having a bf at 13 is good or bad, I could say it would depend on the maturity of your sister. But, if I were her parent, I would try to talk to her that she's just too young for those kinds of things. If it could not be helped, I will talk to her about limitations, and consequences of actions. It is a long shot, and teenagers are prone to disobey parents. But, if done in a proper way (not scolding, or not too lenient either) then she would be able to understand.

Having a relationship at the age of thirteen is nothing compared on starting a relationship at the age of ten.(referring to me)^^, But hey... this is a very disturbing thought though. Kids nowadays are becoming more and more liberated. They think that being in a relationship makes them look cool to other people. But it's actually not. Being in a relationship that young may sound like fun. But in reality, it turns their lives into mediocre. Does your parents know about this? If so, or not, then they should pay attention to this one so your sister's eyes may be opened to what is right. By the way, I compliment your decision of refraining your sister from having her boyfriend come for a sleep over. It's actually not ethical for a girl to invite a male to come over to her house. I recommend that she has to break up with the guy before the worst comes, and seek counseling/guidance from your parents. Pardon me if ever I have it exaggerated... PEACE...^^,

They're both too young to be sleeping over. I mean even if they don't sleep with each other, it's not right to be sleeping over since they have a relationship and they're both too young. As a sister you are responsible for this especially now that your parents aren't home. I guess the best way to do that is to tell your sister that you don't want to get in trouble and it's just not right that way. If she still insists then why did she ask for your consent anyway. If she's that stubborn you should tell her you'd let your parents know about this or better yet tell her to ask permission from your parents herself.

NO idont agree to do nay relation sheep at the age of 13 that just a chield hood. at that time we was not only ware of any thing regarding relation sheep and i think this not the age wher u shoud think about th realtion shiepp it is just age of 13 just to enjoy ur life with frns school and family.

its a good thing you say no! because anything could happen at her young age! come on! its in the hype of curiosity! or ok lets say you'll say yes that the boyfriend can sleep over as long as they are not in the same room, you two (you and your sister) will sleep together while the boyfriend will be on the couch or in the other room and be sure to keep them guarded!

I think having boy friend at thirteen is alright but make serious relationship thirteen is too young. They are too young to understand about serious relationship. They just follow their lust. A couple at thirteen - eighteen is tend to be uncontrolled in emotion. I think you have done well ellyse. Don't let your sister sleep with her boy friends. Give her an advice how is good and health relationship. She has a future and as a sister you should keep an eye on her.

I was thirteen once and I remember my hormones jumping up and down then. I think your sister is going through that impulsive phase of growing up too fast. You have the right to put your foot down and tell her 'no'. Of course, you have to make her realize of the possible consequences of her actions. Having that serious relationship at 13 is something she could regret later on. Looking back now, indeed that at that stage decisions and actions are purely based hormones. Your sister needs you at that critical stage in her life to guide and remind her that there's so much promise in store, so no need to hurry.

wew first i think it's ok if when someone in thirteen get in relationship ,but i really cant think that her boyfriend want to stay a night,0.0 i really dont agree about this decision,why him must stay a night? is he dont have a home? wew i really dont understand what they think

It depends.... if the persons involve are quite linient to the rules why not....

You shouldn't your sister to let her boyfriend to have an overnight at your house especially your parents are not there and didn't know about about her boyfriend. She's only 13 and very young. Tell your sister to ask a permission to your parents. Probably, they will not allow it. I'm sure. At the age of 13, your sister must be guide by you and your parents because teenagers are easily tempted. They didn't know how to handle it.