I just need a pat on the back.
By asyria51
@asyria51 (2861)
United States
October 28, 2010 9:23pm CST
My husband broke his left hand, luckily not his dominant one, about 2 weeks ago. He waited a week before getting it x-rayed. I have only said I told you so once, because I did tell him everyday for a week that he should have it looked at. He ended up having to have to have surgery on it. I took a day off of work to drive him to and from the hospital. I know it is my job, and I honestly wanted to be there for it. The doctor had said that he would be in a splint after the surgery and that he would have to avoid water. I did not expect him to only have use of his thumb and pointer finger. Now, he cannot change a diaper, he cannot wash the dishes or load the diswasher. He cannot carry the laundry basket up from the laundry room. I am doing everything, and I mean everything around the house. It is absolutely exhausting. as i am typing this rant, and looking for sympathy from all the other wives out there, he is sitting on his butt on the couch in the same position he has been in since dinner. Apparently, when they put him under, they also erased the part of his brain that remembers where the laundry basket is(not the floor beside the bed), or where the sink is(not on the table next to or in front of the couch).
rant done.
I truly am glad that his hand will be fixed and back to normal again in the next few weeks.
8 responses
@rutie1973 (65)
• Philippines
17 Dec 10
Thats what we call sacrifice as a wife it is you obligation to take care of your husband we know it is hard because, its not easy to work all house chores, so you must be patience...
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
17 Dec 10
Living in the society that I do, we have prided ourselves on domestic equality, each doing his or her fair share in the household. If i were a stay at home mom, which I would love to be, but cannot afford to do, I would expect more of myself because it would be my "job" to keep the house. My husband and i both work the same amount, so we have split the chores.
Luckily, he is almost better. He can get it wet so he is back to doing the dishes and his routine of bath time. My house no longer looks like a disaster has struck it.
@lynnymac (105)
• United States
17 Nov 10
ah, yes...the old, ''i hurt and am useless'' trick. well, all you can do is wait it out. men will be big babies when they hurt. and foolish about seeing a dr. when they need to. sounds like you married ''everyman''. but really, if you baby him just a little he will start to help again just a little. if you pamper him he will feel obligated to do any little chore you ask of him. good luck.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
17 Nov 10
Now that he has a splint instead of the huge club of bandages he has started to help out more. He is doing the dishes again, which is nice, but he still cannot change a diaper because he does not have enough mobility to easily grasp things with his second hand.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
29 Oct 10
Wow! I hope his hand heals quickly and he finds a way to show you his appreciation for all you have done for him.
If you or I had a broken hand, we would still have to do all that stuff,somehow. Know what I mean?
@Laurelle11 (409)
• Australia
29 Oct 10
Hi there, you sound like an honestly patient person and deserve all the praise that you can get. I would have slapped him up side the head by now. Good luck and best wishes for the next few weeks.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
29 Oct 10
I have honestly thought about slapping him upside the head. I tried to point out that just because one hand was broken didnt mean he couldn't use the other one or that his legs were broken. I think after that comment he did manage to put away a glass in the sink.
@Joman122 (118)
• Canada
31 Oct 10
It' a good thing that you're talking about it. It's much better than keeping it bottled inside then at the last moment unleashing all of your anger. You deserve at least some help from him, it's not like your husband isn't going to hurt himself even more by living you a pat on the back. Also, don't let him take advantage of you. You two are a married couple and couples are supposed to share the work, not give even more work to the other one. Hopefully his arm gets better so you don't wake up stressed and depressed the next morning.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
17 Nov 10
we worked it out. I had a nice rant. It was good to get everything off of my chest. he just sort of sat there and listened, and said something along the lines of i didnt realize how much more you were taking on. He did vacuum the whole house for me, he got up enough dog hair to make a new dog.
@sandylyn1970 (5)
• United States
3 Nov 10
My husband was in a accident earlier this year at work and had 2nd degree burns on both hands. Needless to say he couldn't do anything. The difference is he hated the fact that he had to depend on me for everything. I am lucky that my husband was thinking me all day long for everything I did for him. His doctor could not believe how quickly he recovered and we believe that it was because he refused to just lay around. The longer he sits and lets you take care of everything the longer it will take him to get better and back to life as usual. Just my opinion but you may want to try and just act like he is not even there for the most part. What I mean is yes there are things you will have to do for him because he does have a injury but you don't have to be around for every beck and call. Get busy and moving, stop letting him be the focus and you may be surprised how fast he will get back to moving. When he sees he is missing out on things by laying around he will want to be part of what you have going on.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
17 Nov 10
He was back to work the day after his surgery, and has remained active, it was just that our normal division of labor had him doing things like bathtime and dishes, which he couldnt do. he is almost back to normal, at least until they remove the pins and then he will be useless again, but for a shorter amount of time. he finally stepped up and did some of my normal chores this past week. He folded most of the laundry, and got his put away.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
29 Oct 10
You do deserve a big pat on the back because you husband's denial has made things that much harder on you. Congrats on telling him "I told you so" only once! I would be so tempted to rag on my husband endlessly if he did something like that to me...so your husband is a very lucky man. At the very least he owes you a nice dinner out.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
29 Oct 10
Some men are like this my dear where as they feel completely helpless and cannot do a single thing even with the good handle But ever noticed a woman who perhaps with no hands and in great pain, still manages to take care of the household, the baby and including the husband.
I sure hope your husband gets well soon and that you get the help you need.
