"You have to let go..." Why is it difficult for others? any advices to share?
By melcaden0916
@melcaden0916 (221)
Philippines
October 29, 2010 12:38am CST
My husband is the same man who I have fallen in love with the first time... So, this discussion is not for me.
Now, why I post this discussion? I just want to gain more thoughts on of how I would help my sister since I have not gone to this stage or experience. I think it is very difficult for her to let go...
I have a sister who I think can not let go of what she has into regarding her past love life. I would like to help her. She has been very quiet regarding this matter to our family members. Of course it is always easy to pretend that "She is okay..." But we all know, action speaks louder than words... I felt that her pain remains...
Can you share some thoughts and your point of views? Do you think I could help her in what way? I like my sister to go on with her life... It is also difficult for me to see that her eyes is "gloomy". She is not just the same... Care to share anything about this?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@cassije74 (247)
• Philippines
29 Oct 10
Try to involve her with church activities, to go out and make adventures.... Field activities helps her carry on with problems. Yes, time will heals all wounds...
@melcaden0916 (221)
• Philippines
29 Oct 10
Hi cassije74,
This sister of mine is one of the hardheaded sibling I have when it come's to charismatic church activities... Don't know why. Its just these things are boring for her. Our family is in one religion but she is a less type of girl to get involved in church work. I have seen and noticed this to her, growing together as kids... We do hope we can share more of our quality time but she likes always to be alone. I will give her space for sometime, and I will see what happens or else my parents at least should step into this matter... I always wanted to have my old sister back the way she was... Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this discussion... Until then....
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
29 Oct 10
Time heals pain. So give her time. How long has it been? I grieve for the lost of the relationship in a year. So, it's still OK if it had been weeks or months. How about making her happy or giving her gifts. She needs distractions too. When we are busy, we forget things easily. How about mylot? Writing is one way keeping one's self busy.
@melcaden0916 (221)
• Philippines
29 Oct 10
Yes I do know that I had to wait... yet I want to have my old sister back and help her as fast as it can get... How long? yes less than a year. Its just really difficult, since it involves a feeling we can not see. Don't know though how I can help her. She lost some of her interest like watching movies or TV... And way before, she doesn't like writing that is why she will not into mylot.
Thanks for dropping by with this discussion
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
3 Nov 10
melcaden0916,
I would advise that you simply let your sister have some time to herself where she can learn and evolve from her unfortunate experience. People usually need some space and the last thing they want to do, would be a burden to those around them. She will talk or rather seek help when the time arrives or when she feels like it.
So like all grown ups, you should also remember and treat her like one because ultimately it is her life where she needs to run it on her own at the end of the day. Just reassure her that you will help in anyway and anytime. Most of all remain approachable.
Lastly, don't treat her as if she is some kind of wounded animal. Trust that she can handle herself and understand her situation as she try to move on herself.
@applejoy (145)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Time heals all wounds as they say. At the end, there is no else to help her, except herself. If she really want to move on, then she must do something about it. Try to hang out with your sister more? she needs company, people around her that will help her to move on with life. She must try something new to divert her mind to other things. It took me a year before I was able to move on from a break up. I realized that I wasted time being miserable. Soon, she'll realized the same.
