Can keeping secrets help your relationship grow strong. ??
By roxyoo7
@roxyoo7 (246)
India
October 30, 2010 1:40pm CST
I think there are two main reasons that helps break-ups, divorces and all that unwanted stuff in a relationship. One reason is simply because couples don't communicate. The other one is because of the secrets they keep from each other. There are many kinds of secrets from simple surprise gifts to secrets that will break someone's heart. When these two problems are in a relationship it is only a matter of time before a disaster strikes and the couple's relationship ends up leaving bleeding hearts.
Communication is very important to a relationship being happy. Keeping secrets is a obstacle in that very important communication. Secrets are mostly kept because the truth will hurt or upset the other person. Many times secrets are surrounded by lies to keep the secret a secret from the other person. It is hard to be a perfectly happy couple when your relationship is based on lies. A relationship is much stronger when the both people know each and every about each other. Secrets are like hills in the way of people really getting to fully know each other. Being in love with a person who keeps secrets from you from completely loving that person.
Why would you keep secrets from someone whom you want to spend your whole life with? Being a happy couple; you have already fell in love with each other. Secrets will just stop the couple from fully knowing who each other really are. People change over time and with secrets a couple can quickly become strangers. An open communication in a relationship allows a couple to talk about everything and anything. This communication allows the couple to know each other's deepest and most inner thoughts.
There is only one kind of secret that is OK for couples to have between each other. It is OK to keep a secret for a surprise or gift. This is a temporary secret with the object of the other person's happiness in mind. Even these temporary secrets can cause a temporary problem in a relationship. The big difference here is all is forgiven when the person is surprised or receives the gift. The temporary problem may occur because the other person doesn't understand why people are deceiving them and not being honest.
Couples who are happy but keep secrets from each other are not exactly happy. If they both knew the truth about the secrets, their relationship may come to an end. The secrets are creating a false world to keep someone happy. Being in love with a false relationship is not healthy. Sooner or later the truth of the secrets will be known and the relationship will fall into pieces. To truly be a happy couple there should not be secrets between each other.
What are your views people.
2 people like this
7 responses
@marifel86 (111)
• Philippines
31 Oct 10
Basically,i think a relationship should be based mainly on trust. A relationship without trust would easily be broken even by just petty quarrels or arguments. I guess when you are in a relationship,both partners should have an understanding that nothing should be kept hidden between them, although some secrets may harm a relationship, i think being honest and admitting to one's mistake may mean that he/she loves his/her partner because he/she doesn't want a certain barrier between them. So for couples out there, be honest and open with your partners. It may be hard for those people who are not used to doing it but i assure you it will help your relationship be more stronger.
1 person likes this
@kayevin (220)
• Philippines
31 Oct 10
I think keeping secrets both is positive and negative in a way.Negative in the sense that telling secrets develops trust to each other.Positive in a way that it gives excitement for both,you know Life is a Suprise.IT is better if you were the one to discover your partner's secret.^_^
@yellowhipon (793)
• Philippines
31 Oct 10
I completely agree with you. Keeping secrets from your partner is like saying that you don't completely trust him/her. When my husband and I were just dating, we made that conscious effort to tell our secrets. No skeletons were left in the closet. From our dirtiest secrets to the smallest things that make us happy. We knew that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and so we wanted to lay all the cards. He was confident that I would accept him no matter what vice versa. We assured each other that nothing about our pasts that would make us love each other less. And besides, the past doesn't matter, its the present that matters. We also made a pact that we would be open to each from then on.
I guess to be able to reach that place would mean trusting your partner fully. Its a conscious effort and an everyday decision. There would be times that you'll ask yourself if he/she is telling the truth, but the bottom line is, your trust should prevail in the end.Love isn't just about feelings, its about trust, confidence in each other and understanding. It's a daily decision to be the best partner for your beloved.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
31 Oct 10
I have never had an experience where keeping a secrets gave any strength to a relationship. i don't see how this can happen. it would seem a rare possibility. Secrets often destroy relationships instead of keeping them together.
@saqi78 (1402)
• Malaysia
31 Oct 10
Very nice topic and as well discussion.
I agree with you that in a relationship when there is lack of communication, it donot last for long time, it ends up in a very bad passion. Couple who understand each other and have good communication even of a small matter, their relation is always good and their life is always good.
If you a good communcation with your partner then you can share your secrets with them also. One of the biggest reason of break ups is lack of communication, if couples communicate well then their is also sharing of every thing, then there remain no secret between them, and if any misunderstanding comes between them, they can easily solve that.
So I think communication is important for long happy life....:)
Be happy and be the reason of happiness in others life...:)
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
31 Oct 10
Nice discussion my friend. I like it.
In relationships, communication really do matters. Without it can lead to break ups and separation. Keeping a secret as you have said can cause someone in pain. Secrets that are intended to be kept because it may cause pain to the other person when remained to be kept forever is not good because when the other person is aready aware of it, the pain be more deep. It would be better to tell it the soonest when it can be discuss on. Not when it is too late when damaged is done.
