what do you do with a friend whom you don't seem to know anymore?

yeah, i know that the solution is exactly what you said marguicha. sometimes i just feel like she isn't giving both of us the opportunity to have that conversation. i guess that's a biased and bitter observation. oh well, i guess we'll see what happens this coming Christmas break. it will be the weirdest thing ever if she doesn't come home.

i have realized that i can no longer play the older sister role and i have stopped being that probably since we graduated from high school. i knew we were both old enough, and that it won't be right for me to keep telling her what to do. i guess this is where the differences in her started to show. she's started drinking and had herself associated with all sorts of people. she's supposed to have graduated 2 semesters ago but she's still in school. and i asked her why she isn't done with her thesis yet, but she answered with "i'm just not done with it", as if it was enough of a reason, and she really didn't bother to explain further as if saying that it was none of my business. she proclaimed herself an atheist despite her being a member of the youth for Christ years back. it's not that i want her to completely revert to the old her; i respect the choices she made for herself. i kept telling her i'm ok with her decisions, so long as she's sure about them. but now she's created this rebellious image, and our other classmates have this negative opinion of her which i couldn't defend her against because no matter how i look at it, they're right. i really feel bad about how the things have turned out.

I now understand a little more of where you are coming from. I can see your frustration as there doesn't seem to be much you can do to make her see she is headed down the wrong road. What she needs to understand, and seems to have lost sight of, is what we do today will effect all our tomorrow's. If she once knew that it would seem she has lost sight of it. It is such a shame how we all can be influenced by other people. Generally we do not change how we are on our own. Especially to this degree. I do not know what her original intent was when she went to college. Generally we do that so that we will qualify for a given occupation. What she has lost sight of is that, how well she does now will determine the kind of job she will get after college. As I'm sure you know employers look at a lot more than just grades to determine if a person will make a good employee. What she is doing now will guarantee many will pass her up. Depending upon the field she hopes to enter, reputation can be critical. Good grades are only one component of what employers look at in selecting an employee. One glaring fact that tells me she is with the wrong people is that she once believed in the Lord and now she doesn't. That has been learned from the people she hangs out with and it says a lot about how much influence they have over her. Many people drink and party at that age but they generally do not let it get in the way of their goal. I would say that if you ask her what her goal in life is now and she either has none or put's you off then she is clearly headed down the wrong road. If that is true it may be too late when she finally wakes up. I can tell you from life experience that the following words are Ohhhhh so true. "For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are, 'It might have been.'"

she wants to be a lawyer. i think she still has the same goal. maybe, i'll ask her about her goal the next time we meet (probably next month). i really agree with that "it might have been" line. i wish i could do something for her. i guess i'll have to wait til Christmas.