Old and New
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
United States
November 1, 2010 12:48pm CST
A lot of us have friends or some have Best Friends, new and old friends that might have moved to another state or country. My best friend moved to Florida a long time ago and it was sad. We sill communicate email and by phone but not as much as we did when we were younger. Now I have a few friends but no Best Friend only one far away. So I consider my daughter and my husband my best friends now. I don't really trust anyone because of all I have been through you really think you know someone but after so long even sometimes years they really are not a good person and you learn more and more about who you thought you're best friend is and was and all the bad things along with some good and you have to let go because some things are just unforgivable. So I keep myself from making new friends anymore I go to work and come home. I know it sounds like a boring life. But I have my family and pets, I feel like they are my best friends. Do you ever feel this way?Do you have to let old friends go because the things you found out about them? Do you have trouble making new friends? Or do you keep you're distance in trying to trust anyone?
2 people like this
10 responses
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
2 Nov 10
Friendships are valuable relationships to us. Old friends keep us grounded. New friends add excitement to our lives. We need both to have balance.1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
2 Nov 10
Since my daughter came along I have made a couple of good friends through playgroups, school etc. which is surprising because since I quit my job to be home with my child I have not made much of an effort to make friends; I would have so many if I tried (LOL)! I have a sticker on my car window which says; ‘The more people I meet the more I like my cats.’ It sounds rather harsh and it’s not that I don’t like humans it’s just that I find I don’t need a big crowd of people around me so I can be happy. My husband and daughter are also my best friends along with my sister, my best friend and a couple more here and there. That’s it. If I was to throw a party it would not be a long guest list, but I like it that way because I too have been disappointed by so called friends in the past and I much rather have a few than many I cannot trust! I would not worry about how many folks are around you as long as the ones who are there are precious to you; you are fine, don’t worry...
1 person likes this
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
2 Nov 10
Okay that was an AWESOME and TRUE so True response and I feel exactly the same way and I love that sticker saying! It is awesome too!!
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
1 Nov 10
Ihave discovered that some people that you think you know well are nothing like you thought they were.Also there are people that are really nice to your face yet as soon as you are not there they stab you in the back.I have learnt over the years that never tell any one anything that you do not anyone else to know.Being let down by friends that you thought that you can trust,makes you lose the trust in everyone i have found.
1 person likes this
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
1 Nov 10
I totally agree that is so true!!! That's why I said my family is the only true friends I have including pets!! Have a good day!!
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
2 Nov 10
My mom was under the false assumption this woman she knew from 50 years ago was her best friend. My mom would do anything for her. When the chips were down she never came to see mom. Their friendship was only in my mothers dreams. It took mom almost 2 years to die. She was moms "fair weather" friend.
I had a best friend from kindergarten to 9th grade. She stabbed me in the back so many times from 6th grade on I finally gave up. I cried all the way home from school. That following summer she approached me at the public pool and said "My mom says we should be friends again". I told her I always thought we were friends.
I now have two very good friends. One doesn't understand I hate shopping. That one may be over.
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
2 Nov 10
I don't trust anyone anymore because of all these things that happen to us when we grow up and now so I keep my distance from making new friends anymore because something always goes wrong like you catch them in lies, talking behind your back and so on and it really hurts when all along you really thought they were a good friend and find out years later they were not. Good Luck and Have a goo day!
@jypsyjulia (912)
• United States
1 Nov 10
My "best friend" cut me out of her life three years ago. She finally called me a year later and apologized. I asked if I had done anything wrong and she said no, that she was just having a rough time. Well, she has done the same thing again. She cut me out. Not in the same way- because the first time was very malicious. But this time, it's more like an ignoring thing. Like she wants nothing to do with me. I called and said if I had done anything wrong then to please call me so we could work it out, but nothing. I guess I should have seen this coming considering she had done it before, but it still hurt. Now, I don't have a best friend and I don't trust people. How do I know they won't turn on me like she did? Given, she does have problems with depression and impulsitivity, but still. It's hard to trust when a person has done the same thing to you twice. You start to think too much and it's hard to become close to anyone. That being said, I do have a lot of friends. I make friends easily and I love people. But I do keep my distance. No one wants to get hurt a third time over.
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
1 Nov 10
I am sorry to hear that happened to you and I agree I make friends easily too but I will keep my distance as well because you never know when they will turn on you, talk behind your back and so on.
@saqi78 (1402)
• Malaysia
2 Nov 10
Yes, it is very good that now your family is your good friend. I am also moved from my country to another country but I still have fun on phone with my old friends back, I think making new friends can never be alternate for old best friends, the feelings which we have for old friends or they have for us, can never be replaced with new one. I my self dnt want to make new friends, I cannot trust the new ones, I know this is not a good idea, but I know I ll not manage it and ll always prefer to old ones
So best thing is share every thing with your family and after marriage I think family can only b best friend, and even I have seen this that after marriage people forgot their best friends and they only prefer their wives and children...:)
Have a good day...
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
3 Nov 10
You answered your question within your question. When you are young you think all my good friends will be there til we're old and gray thick & thin. But life doesn't work that way as you said some things are unforgiveable so you let those people go. And you are right once you have a family life can be more limiting to just that inner circle of family you speak with daily. I don't have a BFF anymore, I haven't for a long time. We've all moved different directions and honesty is part of the problem. You know white lies on little things can add up to big things & them being in denial via those lies even if they don't directly hurt you... you know they are false. So I take alot of what old friends say with a grain of salt and know the only people I can rely on are my spouse and family.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
1 Nov 10
I choose my friends, in general. Some might find this a bad trait but it's a good one, really. If you're not choosing who you wanna be friends with, you're subject to be deceived.
@rinfour (250)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
I have very few friends to start with so i do not cut them off because of our differences. In fact, when my friends and I gather we still wonder why we are friends in the first place. we have totally different tastes and attitudes but we all get along pretty well. We might get into arguments about certain behaviors but we still manage to make up and laugh about it. We have been friends for more than a decade now, even if we lost contact for a couple of years we are still as close as ever if not, stronger. :)
I do not want to close myself from the possibility of making new friends, but I am not exerting myself too. It comes if it comes but I am happy with my circle of friends now. :)
@just_obeth (10)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
I understand how you feel, and it might be difficult for you that your best friend had moved to Florida. Yes it is true that life will be different when a friend for a long time is no longer near to you, and surely you missed all of your acquaintances that you both have while you were still together. I have a friend named Wadab who is my closest friend at work. We both have the same interest as well as we enjoy working when we were together. Today, He is leaving for Middle East because he found a Job overseas and he will be working in Saudi for two years. Although, things will be different working without him I have to move on and continue meeting new friends. I really don't keep distance to new friends but i do put some limitations so that I will know them better.
