Is is better to have no father than a abusive one?

United States
November 2, 2010 12:40pm CST
I think so. Isn't it better to have no memory of a father than have nightmarish memories of an abusive father? There are many single moms out there. Some out of necessity! Isn't it better to have one good parent?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
4 Nov 10
I would think so too! My kids have a cousin who they see almost everyday. His father has gone AWOL since a few years ago. Although I couldn't say that my kids are better off for having me around, I could definitely see the difference between having one and having none. Without a father-figure around, I could see that their cousin is turning more and more like his mom. He doesn't like rough stuff, he likes playing with girls, and his not too much into sports. Although I wouldn't approve of this (my opinion, specially with my kids), I would rather him be like this, than get abusive habits if he had an abusive dad.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 10
bounce , he isn't turning this way because he doesn't have a father. He is Just like this,period. It would be great if his dad was in his life but not if he were to demean his son for bein more liker his mother. That would be worse. Not All boys like the rough stuff. And that's ok. But to assume it is all because he doesn't have his father around is nonsense.
• United States
6 Nov 10
Yes. especially if he is sensitive.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
5 Nov 10
You could be right. He could just be that way. And yes there is nothing wrong with that. But he is definitely better than having an abusive dad around.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 10
I absolutely believe it is better to have no father than to go through abuse as a child. And yes that is speaking from personal experience.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 10
I'm sorry. I'm glad you are happy now. A happy GloomCookie sounds like a oxymoron, lol! Seriously, you are living proof the cycle can be broken. My mom was too. I don't know that much of her childhood but from what I heard , she broke the cycle and picked the right guy , my dad , and raised my sister and me.
@youless (112496)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Nov 10
In this case, it is better to have no father than an abusive one. An abusive father will have a bad effect on the children. If the children have no good father, at least they can keep the beautiful imagination. I love China
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
2 Nov 10
I would agree here totally. My kids' dad after the first year of divorce didn't come to get them anymore. I can't tell you how many times they sat and waited for him to show up just to have him call at the last minute to cancel. I also can't tell you how very much it hurt when he didn't spend time with them.....and tears that were shed too....
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 10
I think there are just more males than females in this world that is why there are many single moms out there. Same principle applies to what is called male order bride from Russia. I think an abusive father would be considered tough love for some.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 10
No. Being strict is far different than being abusive. As Abusive I mean beating a child until he/she bleeds. Or being so emotional abusive that a child feels worthless.
2 Nov 10
I am a product of a family that is separated. I live most of my life with my mom. Although my dad is not abusive, but I can still say that I am a preatty decent person even though I don't have a dad. One can live without dad. It can actually make you even worst if you grew up in that kind of environment meaning grew up with your abusive father.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 10
I agree. I lost my dad when I was 12 And I turned out ok.
@Angelwriter (1954)
• United States
3 Nov 10
Absolutely it's better to have no father. I can't think of a single way an abusive parent is better in any way. If any kind of father will do, just for the sake of having one, then something is seriously wrong with the concept of fatherhood.
1 person likes this