On Exes: Past has passed?
By pillow08
@pillow08 (97)
Philippines
November 2, 2010 8:57pm CST
I know talking about previous relationships are taboo for most couples. I've been dating this guy for about 3 months now. We do talk about our exes and stuff. He asks me about mine, so I ask him about his. Here is the issue: During the time he was courting me, I asked him how long ago was his last relationship. He said, "A long time ago, about a year or so." Last night, while chatting over the phone, he admitted that the last relationship he's been in (which lasted over three years) ended last three or four months ago. There probably wasn't a two-timing issue nor an overlap. I just felt really hurt that he lied about it. He's also lied to me over small issues before. Now, I feel that I couldn't trust him completely. I also don't like being the rebound girlfriend. One does not get over a three-year relationship in less than a month.
Should it really matter how long ago his last relationship was?
3 responses
@applejoy (145)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
I'm on the same shoes as yours but mine is worse because my boyfriend had a 6 year relationship with his ex then after 4 months we became boyfriend-girlfriend. It was really hard though the difference between us is that he is really honest about everything because he learned his lesson. I felt I was a rebound but you have to hear from him what he's side instead of thinking negative stuffs that might make you feel bad. Past is past and it will never come back. Just focus on your present instead of thinking of the past. It might ruin your relationship with him. On the other hand, I can see that he has dishonesty issues. You guys should stay friends for a while and get to know him more. It really depends if the guy is ready for another relationship,try to ask him questions that keeps confuses you about himn, communicate with him yourself so you'll understand what is he dealing with at the moment. Take it slow.. With that, you might have a good and honest relationship in the future. Goodluck! :)
@pillow08 (97)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
Thanks, Applejoy! Funny that I call him "Apple", and yours is the first response I received. Serendipity, much? Hahaha. I came from a 6-year relationship, too, but took me 3 years to get into a relationship again -- this relationship. Yeah, I guess we should go back to being friends for the mean time. I thought I knew him enough. He always come to my house to court me; he met my family; he even spoke with my Dad. We only became officially a couple last week. I thought we were communicating. I expected him to be as open and honest as I was with him. He explained that he lied about it because he didn't want me to feel he was on a rebound. He should have given me more credit than that. I am not that shallow. I accepted him and loved him despite of his past. And believe me, his past is a lot more worst than this silly little lie he told me which is hurting me real bad right now.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
You're gonna get dumped sooner or later. Trust me cuz That's what i did. Start looking for someone else.
@pillow08 (97)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
I am not really worried about getting dumped or who-dumps-who. No big deal. I am too mature and secured to be worried about such petty issues. He dumps me -- his loss. I am just torn about trusting him, working it out or simply giving up on him. I can easily find someone better than him. But, Love, you can not replace just as easily. Heck, I can even replace him as fast as I change my clothes if I want to, but I am not the type.
This girl is for keeps. ;)
