How to love a woman

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This is drawing from my years of experience, and from my reasoning abilities. It is directed towards the young men out there, because I do care to give of myself that others might benefit. You ladies feel free to read this as well, in order to check it for accuracy. First of all, most young men fail to realize that love is more in the mind than it is anywhere else. With that in mind, let me advise you to think of this endeavor in terms of a football game. Your real goal is to score a touchdown, and so you must concern yourself with the basics before you can advance to the intricasies and finesse of methods. When you are on offense, and why would you be elsewhere, try to continually mix your attack so as to keep her off guard. You don't want her predicting your every move. Start off with a couple of running plays, between the tackles, and then a dump pass or else a screen pass. This should give you fairly good yardage and a good third down conversion rate, but remember, this is really just setting up the long pass and the eventual hail mary. After your hail mary you may find the quarterback sneak to be your most effective play, but if that doesn't work I can quarantee you that the wildcat formation will succeed. If at any time you find yourself on defense, you must absolutely hold her to a three and out, or else you will be looking for a different partner! Hope this has been helpful, and happy tailgateing.