Would you take back a partner who cheated on you but asked for forgiveness?
By theredquill
@theredquill (586)
Philippines
November 4, 2010 8:47am CST
Not all relationships are perfect. In one way or another, most relationships break down at one point. Some recover, some don't. More often than not, relationships are put to test when one party cheats for a variety of reasons. Even couples in serious loving relationships are not immune to infidelity. So if your partner cheats but admits it and gets on his or her knees begging you to forgive them and take them back, would you give them a chance?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
Thanks for your comment, friend. It is true that no matter how forgiving and accommodating we are, there is a limit to our patience. Once is enough.
@Mitica8 (48)
• Italy
5 Nov 10
I wouldn't know it, depends from how much he has hurt me, and if i love him after all. I think however, that i, to his place would like a second chance but not a third. tha main point is to have understood the mistake and don't repeat it a second time.
1 person likes this
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
Hi MItica8, I agree that there is no fix formula with these things, as people and relationships are different. We may take another risk at something worth risking for, but if it's not, then it's better to close our door on that relationship and open our windows for someone/something else.
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
I guess for some of us, we would give one more chance so we can't say we haven't tried. And what if it will really work much better the second time around? But I'm with you when you say no to third chances. It's very important that we treat ourselves with respect too and not let other people push us around and treat us like crap. There will come a time when we need to move on, and as you say, "never look back no matter what."
@freymind (1351)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Nope. Once is enough. If the person really cared for the relationship in the first place he/she will never stray no matter what happens be it that the temptation keeps knocking at the door. I have seen this so many times with the women I respect so much that they have tried to still forgive their partners yet the men just strays after being forgiven. Once a thief is always a thief. So that means once a cheater is always a cheater. My dad is the best example.
1 person likes this
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
I can totally see where you come from, freymind, and I respect your opinion. You are a woman of strength, I can see, for it takes a lot of that virtue to stand for what you believe in and say enough is enough. I admire that.
@misheli (552)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Yes I will give him another chance because I still love him. I will not forgive him just for the sake of our children I will forgive him because I still love him and he is sorry for what he did and begging for my forgiveness. I don't know if I can give my 100 percent trust right away but we can always talk about it.
1 person likes this
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, misheli. I can see from your answer that you are really a loving and forgiving person, but you love yourself as well. I know that trust is hard to regain when it is broken, but there's nothing impossible if we try. Cheers!
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
4 Nov 10
yes if he is honest and say what happened i can give him a second chance. but after few days. i guess i will need time to recover. i would forgive only if he was honest. if i caught him cheating me i wouldnt. bcs i wouldnt know if he would tell me or not. so i would rather end things than being in the doubt. anyway if he cheated on me again even if he admit the second time i wouldnt forgive anymore. or i
could forgive but wouldnt be with him again. cheating is too bad and i guess must be hard to forgive. so hurt two times for the same reason is too much already so i wouldnt give him a second chance for the second time. everyone that admits their mistakes deserve a second chance but only for one time. if you forgive and then he does that again thats a disrespect already so i wouldnt be with him if dared to do that again.
1 person likes this
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
That's so true. Subjecting ourselves to a second round of infidelity and hurt would be utter disrespect to ourselves already. There is something wrong there, and we must take a good look at ourselves.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
4 Nov 10
I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. Partners in a relationship may not have meant to cheat. these things do happen whether we want them to or not. If my partner cheated and asked me for forgiveness, I would be willing to take them back and give our relationship another try.@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
That is a very mature answer, and quite realistic at that. I agree that everyone, especially the ones that we love, deserve or forgiveness and a chance to make things better again. But my question is, would you still give that person 100 percent of your trust? As they say, trust is one of the foundations of a strong relationship. It takes a lot of maturity to make love happen and lovelier the second time around.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
he has to explain why and he has to sustain a sensible argument with me. if it happens the first time, i MIGHT forgive. but done twice is a totally different story. no more reasons can convince me to spare another chance for him. i need to respect myself too.
1 person likes this
@theredquill (586)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
I can't agree more. Once bitten, twice shy. For me, it would be difficult to regain my trust on a person who has betrayed me, but maybe for the sake of love and the companionship that we shared, I would probably give it another chance. But as you said, if it happens again, then I'll opt out. I don't want to make a fool out of myself.
