Children and funerals
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
November 5, 2010 1:05pm CST
So I'm going to a funeral today, my brother-in-law's mom passed away. Not unexpected, she'd been ill, but sad.
R wanted to go too, after all my sister and her husband have been his family for over 20 years now, but circumstances are working against him.
His mother is in Arizona with her new great-granddaughter, otherwise we would ask her to pick the kids up from school.
We discussed picking them up early and bringing them to the service, but ended up deciding that the twins were a wee bit young. It's a two hour drive each way plus asking them to be quiet and respectful during a service for somebody they barely knew.
So he's not going, and will pick them up after school, and it's just me.
Anyway, today's topic:
When do you figure a child is old enough to attend a funeral/memorial service? When would you bring/not bring a child to one?
14 people like this
5 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
5 Nov 10
I think it depends on the child themselves. I mean a 7 year old might have loved their grandparent, per say and if the child has been explained that grandpa is now in heaven they may quite well understand.
So my theory is depends on how much the child loved the deceased and how much I have expressed to the understanding to the child.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Nov 10
In this case, they didn't know her well at all, so I was fine with not bringing them.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
5 Nov 10
this is very hard to answer. I guess it really depends on the intellect of the child. By that i mean that they have an understanding as to what has happened and knows what is going on. So hard to put an age on something like this.
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
5 Nov 10
It depends on the child. I think. You know your children best. I took mine younger, but it was people that they knew well.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Nov 10
They know my sister's family well, but not so much my brother-in-law's side....
I probably would have taken them, but I didn't want to take them out of school.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Nov 10
If it were a grandparent I definitely would have taken them...
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
6 Nov 10
My youngest went to his first service at 5 years of age. We had to explain to him ahead of time that it was very important that he behave. I also snuck little snacks to him the whole time. He actually behaved pretty well. If a child acts up you can always just take them out of the church. Over all though I think kids are capable of behaving if they are spoken to ahead of time and they are given things to do to keep them relatively busy. I also always bring a couple of suckers with us for things like this. It is harder for them to talk when they are eating a sucker.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Nov 10
I have also noticed that children behave better when they are spoken to first....
