A chat with my Bf's Ex Gf
@nereidiane024 (292)
Philippines
November 6, 2010 7:05pm CST
when you love a person, you must accept everything about him including his past. and they also say that for you to live your life meaningful, you must not indulge yourself from the past. move forward and continue with your life.
i have a boyfriend for 2 years. one particular small fight we always had was about his ex girlfriend. they had a relationship, for 4 years, fortunately they did not last. LOL. unfortunately, this girl always asking about my bf life's now. my bf told me that even we have not yet met, this girl calling him by phone since she is working abroad, had a little chat and this girl has also a bf here in our country. my bf, did not want to be rude towards this girl so he answers her calls. but when i entered my bf's life, and we are still in the early stage of being inlove, this girl always call and even text my bf. i getting pissed off with this girl, so i talked to my bf and told him about my feelings and the future that lies ahead with us, if he will still continue with his friendly gesture towards his ex gf. that lasted for i guess, 6 months. we just heard that she's getting married not with her bf that we know, but a new one. then, she went home to be married. but before her marriage, she visited my bf's mom and dad house. fortunately, my bf was not there. Unfortunately, she's texting my bf. again, after a year of my relationship with my bf, here she goes again. i even felt sad, when my bf's mom had prepared a dish to this girl. i cried in my bed. lots of emotions i had felt then,. when my bf's knew what i felt, they felt sorry. they dont want also to be rude and felt my feelings and struggle. then the girl got married. i thought that was the end of everything toward this girl.
2 years now of my relationship with my man. lately, when i heard something about this girl that consider also my life., i had this instinct of opening my bf messenger's account. there, i had seen this girl's offline messages. i asked my bf if he's still using his account. he said NO and told me let it be, dont mind her. this morning, i opened his account and there offline messages again popped up. i burst towards her everything i have felt. she said, its just nothing.
how about you my lotters? if this will happen to you., what you will feel and say to my bf's ex gf?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Nov 10
Sorry but I would not tolerate that. Yes some things from my boyfriends past I have no choice to accept as I was not around and not involved at the time. But an ex-girlfiend messaging my boyfriend is something I certainly can put my foot down for that as if the shoe were on the other foot, do you really think your boyfriend would be happy with that. I beg to differ and am sure he would not be understanding one bit.
So my suggestion to you is that you give your boyfriend a piece of your mind and tell him, don't explain, but say he has to stop and if he doesn't well you may have to reconsider as any boyfriend of mine that diverts any attention to an ex is not valuing me and respecting as his current girl friend. I can understand that he answer the call one time okay but so she has no one else okay why does your boyfriend have to be her savior excuse me she needs to find her own and leave yours alone.
1 person likes this
@nereidiane024 (292)
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
with respect to my bf, when i told him everything i have felt about his ex gf, he does not entertain her anymore. i guess, he respect and love me. it's just this girl is getting into my nerves. am i being just to paranoid?
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Nov 10
No honey you are not being paranoid some women are like this and opt to make other miserable. Surely as a woman she has no respect for herself as she should keep in mind that if the shoe were reversed she would not like it.
Women like her give descent ones bad names and she really needs to mind her own business and stay out of yours, but her trying to communicate with your boyfriend she is in your business and this is wrong. Have you ever spoken to her?
@nereidiane024 (292)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
yes, i have spoken to her yesterday morning when i opened my boyfriend's account. i took all my strength, courage, and even pride to reply on her messages. my boyfriend always telling me to ignore her, but if i will be on the part of ignoring her, till when she will stop. 2 years of my relationship with him, there she's still a shadow looking down on our relationship. i got pissed off, and talked to her why she had to be feel closer to my bf and my bf parents. what's it up to? i told her also my feelings, that its really wrong making close to your ex boyfriend, now that she's already married. why not think of her husband feelings and her family, my boyfriend and my boyfriends family and me, who suffers unknowingly. why not let herself feel what's within me, what i am feeling. i always have my cry, why she cant stop. why not be on my shoes, reverse the situation. and she only told me that it was all nothing. of course, i know that, she will say that. but being like that for 2 years, texting, leaving messages on messenger and then she will only tell me that it was all nothing. hmmm, i just let myself not be bothered by her presence. i wont open my boyfriends messenger anymore. that would be the best thing to do. i just hope for her marriage life be fulfilled. thanks alot hardworkinggurl.. :)
@daiweian06 (1405)
•
23 Dec 10
Since your bf's ex is already married and HE said that its nothing just believe on what he is saying. Just focus on your relationship and stop opening his account for you to stop thinking non-sense thoughts playing on your mind. Im sorry for the word. And you can't please everybody. If they had a good past with the parents of your bf its just a normal. Of course, we want to build a good relationship with our in-laws. But ignore them and pretend that nothings hurt. Better to cry alone and let it be.
Try to change the password and forget it. Make sure that your bf with her ex is over. They don't need to talk with each other unless they still working with their love.
Good day!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Nov 10
Hi Nereidiane,
I can understand the part where they remain on friendly terms and keep in touch occasionally. I am on friendly terms with most of my ex boyfriends. A couple of them, I was close to the entire family and kept in touch over the years. Still, I do not text them or call them on a regular basis. It's just once in a while. You opened his account? What did the texts say? Was there anything incriminating? I understand your hurt but I have to say that I think trust is very important in any relationship. Is there any other reason why you feel that you can't trust him? I'm just thinking that if she has moved on and gotten married and that he's been with you for 2 years that you really have nothing to worry about. Jealousy and mistrust can kill a relationship also and especially if it is unwarranted.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 10
When ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend involved in your relationship will probably bring problem to your current relationship, why not talk to your current boyfriend that you do not like it, and ask him to stop it, and if he still love his ex-girlfriend, he probably is being not honest to you by keeping the relationship with his ex-girlfriend in the back. I think this need to be make it clear before you step into marriage stage, or else you will be more painful than now.
@mumaysagrado (38)
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
hi, well on my case the difference is... first I am the ex who was called or chat by the previous girlfriend of my ex but I'm married already since 2006 and my ex is the one who called me, chat me, text me etc...then my husband talk to my ex and to my ex's girlfriend to open some arrangement of being a family friend and give them the opportunity to be the God parents of our youngest son...it's true that it's hard and it's hurt when you actually don't know the picture or the real score...your boyfriend maybe is friendly enough and sometimes that's the way it is past is past but it just happen that past is a part of your life...you can't be whole if you don't rely on the past...just don't stick on it go one and move...just be open minded and let the things be done the way it used to be...who knows that ex of your boyfriend will let you be one of the god parents of his children in the future...now if the ex texts is some kind of flirting well that maybe another case...but if it is just hi hello... how are you...and so on.. it's ok... for the record...the girlfriend of my ex asks me everything about my ex when he and i are still attached what kind of boyfriend is he? or what kind a man he is? Did my mom like him or anything we've just talk under the sun...we don't have bitterness in each other we cooked barbeque together in the garden with the boys...we are now family friends and when we talked about the future...we are hoping to see each other as family (in-laws)...why not?
@Gameon276 (1)
• United States
7 Nov 10
Yea I go through the same thing my gf doesn't want me talkin to my ex but doesn't want me to get insecure when she's talkin to her ex but the way that I see it is that u both should have enough faith in each other to say it doesn't matter I have u now they're my past nothing will seperate us
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
7 Nov 10
Hi sweetie.
Ex girlfriends can be a real pain in the butt and they normally cause problems.
I would have given her a peace of my mind and unfortunately my bf will get that piece as well.
I am that kind who will give both of them a lot of sh!t.
Hope she got the point and get lost now.
Luck.
TATA.
