kids before or after marriage?

The Maury show makes a killing on people who begin families before actually signing the dotted line. The results generally being that he gets a new girlfriend and denies the child. Or she runs off with someone else and the father denies the baby anyway. Makes for great tv. Personally, I don't know a single couple(or woman) who opted for children before marriage who ever got married; this inludes women in my age group. Your playing house without getting the benefits.

My opinion on Marriage is that it's a religous or socially recognised framework of commitment to one another whose purpose is to raise children.It has some financial advantages,though unmarried partnerships are catching up with that..As I see it,You don't need to try to benchmark Chelsea Clinton's budget to get married in the first place.Raising kids from Birth to College age is an expensive undertaking.A simple Marriage service need not Be.Marriage is 2 people saying "I do" in front of witnesses.The big party and the honeymoon afterwards is entirely optional.

Hi Smokinchic, It's all a personal choice. My daughter is now pregnant and not married to her boyfriend. Financially right now it would be difficult for her to get married and they aren't even sure they want to get married. Do I wish she'd waited to get pregnant and taken more time to get to make sure the father was the man for her? Sure do. But we can't change things and these things have a way of always working out regardless.

why you thought to have the child first than get married second? eventhough your economy is not good, you cant think like that. marriage is not bout a huge party, but it is about two person who become one in love. you can get married without party. just got your civil wedding document and bless wedding from church or any other religion holly place. if i were you, i will do the civil wedding and wedding at church, then i will give birth to my child. i dont have money too. and i have to forget about my dream wedding party. i have to accept that i dont have much money to make a party. so i plan on to marry in church and got my civil wedding document with my boyfriend. after that then i will think to pregnant and to give birth for my child. i dont want my child to be ashamed because i dont married when i'm giving birth. once i again i told ya. dont even think about party. just do a simple wedding. it is for your child.

I prefer kids after marriage.

I think after marriage is the better option.But in these days many people decide to have children without having a contract.For some this is wright for the others it`s wrong.But we live in free countries and everyone can choose what is better for them.But I think some dicisions could be bad only and just for the children.That`s why you have to think about everything before you do this immportant step in every people life.

It depends on the couples' decision but then they also have to take note of their parents' thinking. Their parents may not be able to accept and the girl's parents may also look down on the boy or maybe take this as an advantage to scold him whenever he does something wrong or what. I think it's best to have kids after marriage. You'll never know what'll happen when you have kids before marriage. Will you be able to afford the expenses? Given the rising prices of milk powder and childcare and education? That's why it would be wise to think twice before doing that thing and regretting afterwards. :)

The traditional way is to get married first before having kids. However, times and values have changed. A lot of couples have kids first before getting married. Some happen by choice, and some happen by circumstance. At any rate, this is the reality. In my opinion, it is still a personal or the couple's choice, and we have no right to judge them, discriminate against them especially their kids.

I would like to have a child after marriage. It is maybe because of my culture. ;)

To me i have always taken the point of if it happens it happens. My partner did end up getting pregnant before we got married, that is just life, we just move on from there. There is no bad thing in having children before marriage, some people don't even get married. Also nowadays as things are so expensive we need to be careful on what we do in life.

In my point of view having kids is always better after marriage, because there are certain social things which should be taken into account. Marriage is a legal certificate for you. Before marriage If you separate then who ll take care of the kid, who ll be responsible for him and such like other things, and marriage is only thing which ll decide that who ll take care if there is separation... But it also depends on the custom of society, some societies consider it good to have babies before marriage and some after marriage, so I think you should do what is best and accepted in your society because your kid ll be part of that society in future and for his better future you both should decide that what ll be the society effect on the child, ll he be accepted or seen good if his birth is before marriage, or it ll be good for him to be born after a legal relationship means marriage... Have a good day a head and a cute baby...

Oh, it is better to have kids after marriage than before because the vow in marriage is for two to understand ur responsibilities along in having children with the rings like caring, nurturing and suffering....

Isn't it that having a child is rather costly then getting married? In my country a lot of people live together without marriage, they have children, they are together for decades but they do not need the marriage as an institution in their life.

Well, to be honest, I think that if two people are in a serious, long relationship and are ready to become parents, they should do it. My parents have been together for 26 years, not married and I'm here. It's not about what you put on a paper, it's about what you feel.

I really don't think it makes any difference at all. Marriage is just a label, it doesn't actually mean anything but a social status and extensive legal benefits. As a matter of fact, I think getting married just because you're pregnant is absolutely stupid. If you're not ready to get married, then don't get married, simple as that.

hmmmmm....i think it is more difficult to have a child than having the marriage. isnt it having the child that demands more money to be earned by the parents?

Although having children after marriage is ideal sometimes it cannot be helped. I am from US and yest this is quite common here.

I would prefer to have a child after being married however sometimes it does not happen like that and there is not much you could do. Now a days it is common for couples to have kids before being married because of the economy but it depends on the situation.

Since I still have no kid, I can't give you advise. But I have a friend with the same situation. They didn't get married too because of financial reasons. But they will after they have a stable job. They told their 6 year old child about it so that he will understand even at a young age. They told me that the most important thing is that both of them are happy together. It's feels like that they are married but unofficially.

Personally, I would want to have children after marriage. I hope I'd be able to stick with that plan. I just want to start a family the ideal or right way I know. Kind of like my conviction. I want to make things right to avoid problems with my family as well as my boyfriend's family in the future. I also want to save money first. I also think that marrying first before having kids and planning when to have kids would help us to become more prepared and stronger as a couple and as parents. But I am aware that having children before marriage is quite prevalent nowadays. I respect those people who have experienced this tough situation. I also admire the ones who continued conceiving their babies or stood up for it despite so many problems especially those who have financial difficulties. I think that accepting or taking the responsibility of what has happened is truly important. Some may have regrets or be hesitant but they have to face it, all the consequences. Having kids either before or after marriage is indeed difficult, it's hard to become a parent. But when it happens, it's a time where we should not think of our own sake and be selfish. It's a time to think what's best for our kid/s. =)