True love comes after 30
By beeh13u
@beeh13u (1037)
Philippines
November 8, 2010 1:53am CST
I don't know if this is true but they say that it is.
True love comes after 30, why? Because:
There are stages in human development. According to Erik Erikson, during young adulthood (20-25) , at this stage it is between intimacy vs isolation. We fall in love and get married because of this instinct. In our minds, the one we are with is the one we are destined to be. But after 30 years old, that magic that blinded us fades away. That's why a lot of people during that stage commit an affair. But those who haven't seek love during young adulthood makes them crave for true love after 30.
I don't know how to expound this. I just found out about it. And no other article can support it yet since it's only my opinion after reading Erik Erikson's stages of development. For those who'd like to share there ideas, please be don't tell me I'm wrong. You can but not to harsh.:)
3 people like this
14 responses
@millertime247 (198)
• United States
8 Nov 10
I found my true love after 30.We have a great daughter together.I am looking forward to getting married and have a house and start our family together.I wish the economy would be better though.
2 people like this
@smokinchic69 (46)
• United States
8 Nov 10
i know exactly how u feel but i m not 30 but dam close to it
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
9 Nov 10
Well...
I have never heard anything like it before you ... but I am happy if it's true ..
I have also loved women in life but lost her ...always thought she was my true love ...but if you are true then I will must get true love later ...he he
Thanks ...
1 person likes this
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
9 Nov 10
without dating with some one else ...how we will find true love ..?
Its must ...
@srganesh (6340)
• India
8 Nov 10
You may be right! In the adulthood, love is dynamic and is infatuation oriented, in most cases. But at the age of above thirty, one is not aroused by the physical appearance of the other and give more importance to their value towards life and so, they can go on and on, steadily for years.
2 people like this
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
That's good. But it depends on the person really. Erikson didn't say that. I just took some ideas from him.
But can I explain further? It's just that at the age of 30, it is the transition of another stage in our life. According to Erikson, 35-55 is the stage of generativity vs Stagnation. The greatest strength here are production and care. So if people are turning 30 without having someone special in their life, they still haven't resolved the conflict between intimacy vs. isolation. That's why both stages combine and produced a wonderful outcome.
1 person likes this
@mhypie03 (683)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
Well, it's a case-to-case basis. But there could be truth to that. Yet everything in this world is all about the choice you choose and decision you make. No one is in control other than the person who's seeked and found the love may it be on their 20's, 30's, 40's so on and so forth and that they can stand for it throughout the ages.
1 person likes this
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
You are an existentialist then. Just like me. Yeah. But Erikson's theory isn't about philosophy. His work has been accepted in the field of Psychology. Our decisions are affected by our personality, behavior, traits, temperaments, attitude and etc. That's why it's still related.
@mhypie03 (683)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
I am not actually a total believer of destiny. As I have said, we make our own decisions that affect every single instances of our life just like in love, we could choose to love a person despite imperfections and if we fall out of love as everyone would say because they are too young or what, they could still choose to try and maybe later on it could still grower deeper, deeper than it was before. But then again, it depends on the maturity level of an individual.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
9 Nov 10
Dear friend,
From my personal experience I will have to agree with that, as I got married when I was 31 yrs old, but my wife was 5 years younger than me, we got separated within 2 years, finally filed divorce. I feel most true love is after 30ys, may much more practical and sensible approach to love. But there are also successful love before they reach 30 yrs.
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
That's sad to hear my friend. Hope you are doing fine.
Yeah, it really depends. Maybe some are lucky to find true love when they're young. Maybe I am just watching too much of "How I Met Your Mother" LOL. I got some of the ideas there. Ted was an architect then all that's missing in his life is Love. While Robin was still starting her career that's why she's not ready for a commitment yet.
But for me my friend, after 30, your life is stable. You don't seek for nothing else but for something you are missing. That's why I linked it to Erik Erikson's because in our life, if we haven't solved one conflict in those stages, we go back for it.
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
9 Nov 10
I actually don't agree with that. I found my true love before 30, I guess I don't agree in that sense, but I haven't yet reached after 30, but I believe that our love will still be growing strong after 30 I'm sure. I think though that it all depends on the people that are apart of the relationship and how well the relationship is going. I don't think that everyone after 30 that didn't find true love after 30 will have an affair. I so do not agree with that.
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
That's good if you believe and feel that your love will grow strong. But sadly, I have heard a lot of stories that people who married at a young age filed for separation (there's no divorce here in the country). Since I knew some of them, I had studied why their relationship didn't last. They married early without a job. No job means no money. No money leads to stress. That's why they fight a lot. Or some find other means to forget the stress by dating other rich guys.
It is true to some. But not to all.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
8 Nov 10
I think true love can come at any age. it can happen to us as a teenager or even when we are 80. Sometimes it may take us a lifetime to realize when we have true love in our lives.
@sweetmary86 (822)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
yes we have erik eriksons theory in nursing and between 20-25 is isolation vs. intimacy it is the stage when people form intimate relationships and get married but when they get into 30s they eventually fall out of love and commit adultery. personally, i think marriages at 30s are more mature and stable.
1 person likes this
@starlight_starbright (810)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
You can be true based on how you present it. But I think true love comes anytime. You can possibly, truly love someone without any condition of loving you back. One can experience true love to someone anytime but having true love and having the right love doesn't follow. You can truly love someone without that person loving you back. And if the person doesn't love you back, doesn't mean it's not true love that you feel. Love is a mystery, that knowing what it is takes away the mystery of it. Happy mylotting! ^_^
1 person likes this
@ever_purple (522)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
well i guess its still depend on the person cause i kinda believe that age influenced our feeling but i firmly believe that whatever your age is, if true love comes? it will invade your life no matter if your 13,20, 30 or even 50!=)
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
I can't agree what your point about true is after 30 years old becuase in case I'm 28 years old and now my wife. Meaning it depends the situation if you are mingling with various girl/boy true love will arise but if you are only in the house in front of comuter doing in mylot I don't think you can find true love (lol). True will come to everybody anytime during your adolecense time... see you around
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
Yes it depends upon the situation. But I had observed that nowadays, a lot of people who marry at the age of 20-25 get's divorce or separation after around 3 - 5 years time. So it gets me to read about Erik Erikson's developmental stage. I don't know if their decision was driven by instincts because again at that stage it's all about getting married. So how true was true? Was it only driven by human instincts or was it coming from your own?
Nothing is constant in this world except for change. I can also change it "True love comes after 28" or etc. Oh, you can't find love in myLot. This is not a dating site. (lol). Yeah, there are others who had find love with their childhood friend or high school sweetheart, but only a few. I am talking about the majority.
@creyos (275)
• Indonesia
9 Nov 10
Hi Beeh, I don't want to say the theory of Erik Erikson is reliable or not. However, what I see from the behaviour of human being, especially the guys, most of us, so far as I know, we will only be ready for a real serious relationship after 30 years old. While before that age, we want to have more freedom, adventures, fun, etc.
I think we might meet our true love before 30 years old. But that true love might also not come in the right time.
1 person likes this
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
10 Nov 10
That's right. SOME guys are so immature even at the age of 25. Personally, I don't like to marry at the young adulthood stage since I want to feel life being free and lots of money. I want to be selfish first so that I wont have any hangups in life. Then after 30, that's the time I'll settle with the one I love. :)
