How much do you reveal about yourself in discussions?
By Porcospino
@Porcospino (31366)
Denmark
November 8, 2010 4:01am CST
How open are you when you start discussions or participate in discussions? Are you very open about your thoughts, problems and experiences? Or are you afraid to reveal too much in case someone recognizes you? Are there certain aspects about your life that you always avoid to write about?
If you start a discussion about a friend or a family member are you afraid that (s)he will read it and recognize the description or do you feel anonymous because you don't use your real name?
When I write something about another person I always keep in mind that (s)he might read it. I don't want to write things that I would be ashamed of it the person happened to read it. I am not really anonymous, of course Porcospino isn't my real name and I don't have a picture in my profile, but I have a link to my online gallery and that isn't an anonymous site.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
8 Nov 10
Well looking back over my discussions I would say that I probably come across as a grumpy old self opinionated woman who is obsessed with food
I don't really write about particular people and am not anonymous in any way so I don't think I am offending any individuals (only those who I have a go at when I'm in my grumpy, over opinionated mood!!)
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Nov 10
I haven't even noticed any food discussions...but maybe it is because I am a lousy cook and usually avoid discussions about food or cooking
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
9 Nov 10
@ oldchem...I don't think you seem grumpy at all! You make me hungry with some of your discussions, but that is not a bad thing at all! I actually wonder when you don't post a new cake by your daughter as I so admire her work! I also don't think you are over opinionated either! I speak my mind. I used to be a shy kid, but I am certainly not a shy adult. I am honest and straight forward, but people sometimes think I am opinionated as well...LOL
1 person likes this
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
8 Nov 10
@Porcospino, you must certainly missed alot of my discussions then because I certainly DO love food and talking about it!!and eating far too much of it
@stine1, thank you - I'm glad I don't seem too grumpy!!
2 people like this
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
9 Nov 10
Hi, Porcospino, I'd like to take part in this discussion, even though I'm a bit late. Here I feel free to talk about myself, I really share my problems. Maybe this is because here I'm anonimous, I'm sure that there are no people that I know in life in myLot. So this is sort of a second life here for me. I'm glad to find new people without being embarrassed by my other connections.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
11 Nov 10
It is a good thing that you feel free to talk about yourself and share your problems. I have received some very useful advice here, and sometimes I get to see things from a different perspective that way. I like to share things with my friends in real life, but sometimes people that I don't know personally are able to give me a different kind of advice, because they aren't personally involved in the things that I describe.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 10
Only if someone can read in between lines of what I wrote in my past discussions they can easily conclude the person I am. I am who I am in the real world and in this virtual world. I don't write fictions but real happenings that I went through in life. There is no need to lie as we are communicating daily with the same friends in mylot. If I fabricate my story once then it will take me a long time to conceal the lie and it is not me who can act and pretend to be another person living in a fantasy world. I tell the truth.
1 person likes this
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
9 Nov 10
I don't mind revealing myself in my discussions. I am open about my thoughts and I don't have a problem speaking my mind. Anything I say in a discussion about say a family member, I have said to their face. I am very straight forward and I do speak my mind. I am pretty much an open book. I don't mind telling about my life experiences and I am not worried if other family members might be reading my discussions on mylot. Unfortunately when I signed up on MyLot, I used my first initial and last name as my tag name, so if any of my family members are on mylot, I am sure they have figured who I am out by now...LOL
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
11 Nov 10
You wrote: "Anything I say in a discussion about say a family member, I have said to their face" and that is one of things that I thought about when I started this discussion. When I mention friends or family members I don't want to write things that I haven't said to their face or couldn't say to their face. There aren't that many Danes on MyLot, and some of my friends don't speak English, so they are not likely to recognize me, but I still don't want to write things that I wouldn't say to them in real life.
@stardrifter (21)
• United States
8 Nov 10
I am sure that I reveal myself to an extent, in responding to discussion topics I pretty much answer from my own base of experience and knowledge. How revealing that is about me I am not sure, enough for someone to form somewhat of an opinion about me if they follow what I have written in Mylot. For the most part they won't learn much about me from looking at my profile as I have chosen for now at least to leave it empty, and from that standpoint there is nothing revealing about me. I don't talk about others, be they friends or family members, and if I did, you won't find any names specifically mentioned as I don't feel that is necessary to make a point in discussions.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
11 Nov 10
When we use our knowledge and experience in discussions we do reveal something about ourselves. Some members seem to avoid personal topics and some members post very personal discussions, but we are all able to decide how much we want to share. The same thing goes for the profile, we can leave it empty like you did or we can do the opposite and upload pictures of ourselves, family members etc. Personally I have no pictures of me or my family in my profile.
@mrpoker0112 (243)
• China
8 Nov 10
you may be familiar and popular there ,or many people in your city have joined for fun ,so perhaps it's necessary for you to concern about this .
but i think i am in another case ,i am common and lead a simple life ,here i can share all my feelings ,thoughts ..
when i feel sad i can start a discussion about it ,i won't make it at the bottom of my heart ,i share it here and then i may get comfort here .
when i feel high .of course i will write it ,i feel higher when can see the happiness lies in black and white in words
something puzzles me ,perhaps someone can really come to my help .so i am here .
writing on and on .
it happens ,it also lies here ..
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
11 Nov 10
I think it is great that you are able to share all sorts of feelings here: sadness, happiness etc. The members of MyLot are from different parts of the world and we are often able to learn from eachother. I also think that it is great place to find advice or help if you have a problem or a question.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
hello. i love the topic.
as far as i can, i try to be as objective. to identify one's self in a topic or a post or an article is not the writer's fault. it can be intentional or unintentional but there has to be that goal of being objective.
i find that some of my discussions are related to some of my experiences in life and with other people. if they do happen to chance themselves reading then identifying, i believe it is not the intention.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
10 Nov 10
I also think that it can be intentional as well as unintentional. In most cases it is probably unintentional, and if a person recognize himself/herself in my discussions it wasn't my intention, but I have seen examples where it was intentional. I used to be a member of an online forum where some of the members posted discussions about eachother. They never wrote the name of the other member, but it was pretty obvious that they wanted to be recognized and that they used the discussions to express their anger instead of writing a private message to the another person...
@shibham (16977)
• India
8 Nov 10
Hi friend. This is a very good discussion indeed. I consider mylot as my best shelter to solve my personal problems where i am hanging. So i do reveal all of myself as much as i can. If i think that it may create some problems then i never share it hiding myself. We are friends and there is nothing not to trust each other. I have found some good suggestions regarding my problems. Thanks to mylot and al of you for being a part of mylot. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Nov 10
I am happy to hear that you have found some good suggestion regarding your problems. I have experienced the same thing. I have found some great suggestions and ideas and I have received a lot of useful advice I think that MyLot is a great place to learn and to find new inspiration. I especially like the fact that so many countries and cultures are represented here, sometimes I get a totally different perspective that way. To get something we have to give something - if we don't reveal the problem, we can't get help or advice. I really appreciate the suggestions that I received when I asked for advice.
@megamatt (14291)
• United States
8 Nov 10
I tend to be a bit careful of what I exactly reveal. Now nothing I tell is really something that is an outright lie but the thing about is, when I remember things, the details might be a sketchy and my mind might be remembering things from a perspective where I might known all of the details. I think that a lot of the time, there is a story about my life where I just pull back and not tell it, for reasons that it could get someone in trouble other than myself if someone who knows enough to fill in the blanks is reading.
Sometimes being vague is the answer and thinking carefully about what I write. For example, there are times where something might seem like a good discussion, but because of the mood I am in, it might not be the best idea to post it right at the moment, do to the fact that it could very well reveal a bit too much. Still, I try to keep too many sensitive details and my pictures offline as well. Of course, given how horrendous a lot of my pictures tend to look, I could be doing everyone a favor right there.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Nov 10
Sometimes I also choose to avoid some topics from my own life, because I don't want the other person to recognize the things that I write about. Some of my friends don't speak English, and they are not likely to read the discussions on Mylot, but I still think about the things that I post.
Yes, it is not always a good idea to post a discussion straight away. When I am sad or angry I tend to write things that I should have deleted instead. I try to avoid those situations, but sometimes I am a little too impulsive...
@nangisha (3495)
• Indonesia
8 Nov 10
Hi Porcospino!.
All answer in discussion is my personal opinion and never reveal a real name. I never said any thing about my family and love one in public or forum like this even when I really mad at them.
I always take a principal you are what your family are. So if I say badly about them in public its mean I disgrace myself too.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Nov 10
I agree with that I know that will regret it if I write bad things about my family when I am angry at them. Sometimes I mention my husband in my discussions for instanse when I write about some of the things that we are doing together, but I don't write bad things about him and I don't reveal personal information about him.
@qianyun6 (2067)
• China
8 Nov 10
Hi, Porcospino!
I don't reveal much about myself. In my opinion, the glamor of Internet is its anonymity, so we can say what we think freely. So I post carefully to avoid revealing my personal information. I don't want to be recognized in the real world.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Nov 10
Yes, some things are easier to write about when we are able to remain anonymous. I don't usually post a photo of myself when I join a forum or a social networking site, I have only done it once. I posted a photo because I belonged to group that was going meet in real life and we had to be able to recognize eachother. That photo did make a difference when I partcipated in the discussions, because I wasn't anonymous anymore and it made me avoid certain topics because they were too personal and there were things that I didn't want to write on a public site.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
It depends on the topic discussion and whose mylotters, if I know him/her very well I will give my best and open mind from myself. But I always not to give all of myself thoughts and other yes may be afraid or i should do that to have at least privacy... ok.. see you around
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
8 Nov 10
Yes, we have to keep the balance between helping and keeping our privacy, and if we have a close relationship to the other person that might influence the way that we respond to a discussion. If I read a discussion where someone asks for advice about a problem that I have experienced myself, I often share my story, if I think that it might help the other person, but there are some things that I don't write about for instanse because it is too personal.