having kids

Philippines
November 8, 2010 4:57am CST
While most of us young professionals doesn't want to have an untimely baby, I was shocked with my girlfriends proposal. She wanted to have a baby ASAP. Haha and she told me, she just want a baby from me, hahaha she wants to make a baby with me as the father. Haha I was shocked, and I didn't agree, I really don't think it proper. I mean we're not yet married for that matter, and yes, I want to be a good provider, so much as I can, I want to make sure, my children will have a good future. So for now, I rejected my girlfriends request, if you were in my shoes, what would you do? And why?
5 responses
happinay
@happinay (76)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
Having a baby is not like a game of Sims where you simply create one, fill his motives or fast forward until he is grown up. Things aren't as easy in real life and having a baby is just irreversible, at least, morally. Hence, a couple will have to discuss it carefully and decide on it together. With that, your gf should understand why you rejected her proposal. Both of you will have to be ready for something as serious as raising a child. Otherwise, either your relationship or the baby's life gets ruined.
chuyins123
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
yeah, you were right, It's not just a game, it's reality and in reality there's no play again or restart of everything but just facing up the consequences of the past actions we've taken. That's why I really stand firm on my decision, and rejected her request, despite the fact that I love her, and I want her to be happy. Because I thought to my self, I want to give her the right happiness not a temporary one that would have a devastating long term consequence.
strawberrychocodahi
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
You are right, you need to set things straight and right. It is not yet the right time to ask for a baby since you two are not yet both settled. Maybe your gf just wanted you to pop her the question of "will you marry me?" that is why she said she want a baby already. You are firm in your decision to withdraw but just explain carefully to your beloved that it will be in due time when you two are ready, financially speaking. Having a baby is another responsibility, try to get married first before thinking of having a baby. Tell your girlfriend to control her horses. She will get her wish at the right time. Just assure of your love to her by setting a time plan for you both to settle down at the right time you will both agree.
chuyins123
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
yes, i know, I have to plan things out. And well, it's not yet a question to me if I'd marry my girlfriend because I still have priorities before marrying. It's not a joke to enter into marriage, so I'd better be careful on deciding who to ask the question "will you marry me?"... As of the moment, I could still see my self with her in the future and having kids, but it is not a license for me to go, and have kids with her yet... It's not as easy and ABC as they say. And yes, I do assured her of my love. But I really firmly told her, I am not yet ready, and I don't want us both suffer the consequences later. We'll come to that, there's no need to rush, I said.
maximax8
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
21 Nov 10
I think that if your girlfriend wishes to have a baby then she should really wait until you two are married. It is wise to make sure your children have a good future with a stable background. I think you might like to get engaged and then marred in two years time. Then you could have baby in around three years time. If I was in your shoes I would say " I want to have a baby but now is too soon".
moneymaya
@moneymaya (901)
• India
8 Nov 10
No body can understands the Girl Mind , Ha ha ... Bitheway I think you are right and first you should think about it a lot ...
mariacecilia13
@mariacecilia13 (490)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
It's the fact that women now are more liberated as to say what's on their minds. If I have a choice , I would also choose to have a baby without getting married because it is not easy to find a responsible husband nowadays :(