Does she have the right to be angry at me?
By oxyde_gyabo
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
Philippines
November 8, 2010 6:00am CST
I have a friend who flunked the finals exam in our major subject and she obviously acts very angry at me just because I asked her what her score is. Maybe because one of her friend who hates me because of jealousy kept (I don't know the right term) 'telling her how boastful I am' for being one of the few who passed the exam.
I asked that friend who flunked the day before to go to the library with me for a short review since there's no classes and she has free time. She denied it so I reviewed with other classmates. Those classmates that reviewed with me had a higher score than she did and I think she figured it out so she thinks that in my mind I'm saying 'I told you so'. I actually don't think that way.
I dislike being judged for what I am not and I think she is overconfident for rejecting my review proposal. Anyway, I still wish she didn't got angry with me because I respect her so much like a sister.
11 responses
@asendud (318)
• Indonesia
8 Nov 10
if i was you. i just tell her about what i want to do. just that, if she doesn't care about what i want to talk i will ignore her. i just want to help but what she do just make my heart sick.
hope she can understand i just wanna help. not more, i care about her.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
I really do care about her. But it feels like after she befriended someone who 'hates' me, it made me feel distant. Not that I care anymore because we're not close anymore. I just don't like people being angry at what I didn't do..
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I still think you need to reevaluate your friendships! That kind of negativity will not do her any good in the future and believe me she will probably be a negative person forever! Don't do that to yourself. I personally have been in your position, not for long though!
1 person likes this
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
9 Nov 10
I know how you're feeling. That certainly is so bad. I think she also doesn't want to scold you too. She's just feeling upset that's all.
1 person likes this
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thanks judge! Seems to me you're more understanding than I am to the highest level. I have to absorb this. I really wish she didn't want to do that because for some reasons, it felt like it broke our friendship. But I should think that she's a good friend and person. Thanks for feeling for me.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
9 Nov 10
That's pretty rude of her, she doesn't seem like a respectable person. Well, if she's really important to you and this is bugging you, i think it would be worth it if you talked to her about it. But I don't think it's fair for you to have to deal with her problems.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
That's what I though too. Sadly, I don't feel comfortable talking to her now.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
9 Nov 10
let her be, because people like that just can't take failure. I don't understand people like your friend did. She fail an exam, big deal, pick herself and do it all over again. Correct herself in those attitude, and find out why she fail. That is the most important step.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I guess that's the solution for her. But I haven't approached her about this yet because I'm waiting for her to come to me first. It seems to me that it would never happen though. It's alright I guess, as long as she gets to correct herself somehow.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
9 Nov 10
I think you should rethink your friendships! She's lazy and a drama queen. Don't you have better things to do than to get sucked into all that negativity, exactly what will stand in between her and a bright future? Sorry but your too good for that!
1 person likes this
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
There are times where we haven't talked for the whole day and those intervals are getting worst every week. Although I have alot other friends so I don't mind. It just bugs me that maybe it was because of that friend of hers that kept ruining my reputation.
@beeh13u (1037)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
I think it's her defense mechanism called displacement that's talking. She may have a very troubling day or a problem that she can't handle. That's why she got mad. Don't blame yourself man. Just ignore it an she'll come around and say she's sorry.
1 person likes this
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I guess I don't have to regret about what I felt but she never approached me so I guess she still haven't cooled down. Although there are times that are extremely rare when she asked me about lessons and class related questions. Did she forgot or is she just trying to delete what had happened?
@holesworth (220)
• Australia
8 Nov 10
Maybe it is disappointment being expressed as anger; rather than anger being expressed as anger. Perhaps your friend is self-deprecating because - in not reviewing the work before the finals exam - she feels that her failure is reflective of the work that she did (or didn't do, for that matter). Perhaps she feels that she did not put in the required effort and - as a consequence - is angry only at herself. Either way, you should not take it personally; as I'm sure that her mood - her distance - will be short-lived.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
8 Nov 10
I hope it's just her mood. But she shouldn't have acted like the blame's on me. It's quite disrespectful.
Anyway, It's been two weeks, I hope she cooled off. :]
Thank you..
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
9 Nov 10
You say you care for her dearly so I have imagine she does you also, I am thinking she really is more upset with her self and just so happens to be taking it out on you. It is not right, but as friends sometimes we understand that our friends need to vent at times.
I say give her a little time to come around and accept that she could have done harder on her own, in the mean time you remain the great friend you are as truly she has to see that in you.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I guess I have to understand her.. I was just hurt so much because I was never scolded by someone I treat respectfully.
@everyone... I didn't thought there would be several comments in just a week that I've been gone :) Thanks for the support everyone.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
Dear, I think you have to talk this out with your friend if you really wanna keep her as you friend. And like what you've said, you don't want to be misunderstood. Then clear your name and tell her exactly. Sometimes when we keep it all to ourselves, it'll cause more problems. So an open communication is the best thing in all kinds of relationship.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I guess so. But there was a time that we had a small quarell that end up worse when I tried to talk about it so I think I should just let the fight die. We never really had a close communication.
@aruviaravind (5)
• India
9 Nov 10
people are common in this things,u cant judge them how they react for everthing,u shuld get used to this ,but try to be calm and always good to them, u will surely get an happy result
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I guess everyone experiences this. So I should learn on understanding it. I'm usually lenient and quiet so to avoid getting things worse. I hope everything will be fine. Thanks for the supportive comment ^_^
@zxy2chris (4)
• China
19 Nov 10
you should not care too much about that because you never have that intention to hurt her.Maybe she will understand you after more consideration,if not,well then,it means that she is deserve being your friend.
